To circumsize or not?

Shana - posted on 02/10/2009 ( 754 moms have responded )

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I am pregnant with my third child who is a boy (finally) and my husband does not want to circumsize him but I do. What is everyones' opinion on this and which would be better?

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Sarah - posted on 02/23/2009

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Quoting Anna:

i have 3 beautiful girls, but my opinion on circumcision is that the baby should be wheat the father is. so if the father is cicumsized, so should baby...and if the father wasn't circumcized, neither should be the baby....the father is going to be looked up to from the son and wouldn't want the son to think or feel "different because he doesn't "look" like daddy. good luck!


This is not a good reason.  How many little boys have pubic hair?  How many boys end up having different colored pubic hair?  No little boy ever looks exactly like his father.  I can't believe that this is a good enough reason to lop off a piece of your child's genatalia.

Sarah - posted on 02/23/2009

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Quoting Carol:



Boy, you sure seem to think you know all the answers. Most of what I have read from your comments is quite humerous to say the least. Perhaps with age more widson will follow. Until then, keep trying......





 



And what would your opinion be?  You imply that you know more than everyone here, but you fail to share your information....

Mallory - posted on 02/23/2009

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If your sarcasm is directed at me, I suggest you grow up. I didn't say anything negative, just my opinion. 

Samantha - posted on 02/22/2009

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i not long had my boy done and with the way they do it today i think its great no cutting at all and there was NO blood either. my little man didnt even shed a tear or even a noise. buit you do what you want to as a family to everyone it is a very touchy subject. my partner is done so when i told my mum who has 2 boys and never got any of them done she was just like why would you? and my answer was cause i want to simple as that its no one elses buisness. good luck on deciding.

Stephanie - posted on 02/22/2009

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I just had my first son. And the thing that got me was its practice of good hygiene to have baby boys circumsized. but thats not the only thing in the US most baby boy are circumsized and when they get older its the normal. If he is not circumsized he cold get made fun of just because its not the norm to be not circumsized. my best friend is not circumsized and he hates it not only do girls not know what to do cuz they expect a guy to be but he feels different and hates it. I think you need to think about your son and what he would want. most guys that are not circumsized hate that they are not

Tammi - posted on 02/22/2009

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Last I checked, adults in pain after surgery are given pain meds to the nth degree.  I'm sure it is painful...but newborns do not receive anything for their pain.  Their sleep and nursing patterns show they are in a stress response similar to PTSD, whether they cry or not. 



I think it is ironic that most of the American medical community (except one wise MD here--I loved your post/can you be our MD?) is highly in favor of this procedure for all their anecdotal stories, yet practicioners to our north and across the seas are not in agreement with the USA providers at all.  Where are *their* horror stories of "if only these boys/men were circ'd at birth?"  



I left this decision up to my dh, after fully exploring the facts together.  He equated it to little girls with pierced ears, until I mentioned it would be more like an ear-lobe amputation without anesthesia, or pain meds after.      

Mallory - posted on 02/22/2009

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My boyfriend and I had the same problem when my son was born. I wanted him circumsized and he did not, since he is not circumsized. However, I decided to do it. My reasoning was simply the medical aspect of it. I believe it's more hygienic. They are so much more susceptible to infections when the foreskin is left. He would obviously keep himself clean if he were not circumsized, but sometimes the infections are unavoidable. And when he gets old and isn't able to take care of himself as well, it'll be even more of a risk. It is also harder for a male to be circumsized when they are older, if he should need it. When he's an infant, he won't even remember it and it didn't bother my son at all. While I was in the hospital, they brought him in to me right after it was done and he was absolutely fine and happy. It took about a week and a half for it to heal and it's so much easier to deal with. My mother works at the Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh and all of the doctors there are big supporters of circumcision. Whatever you decide though, make sure it is for the right reasons and it's what's best for your baby. 

Tounine - posted on 02/22/2009

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If it's the pain or the cutting that makes your husband uncomfortable, talk to your pediatrician about a device/procedure called plasti-bell.  That's how we had both our sons circumsized it is soooo much easier and more guilt free.  It involved putting two small plastic rings one on the inside and one on the outside of the foreskin.  This cuts of the circulation to the skin and it dies and falls off.  The procedure does not involve any cutting and is quick and must less painful for the baby.  Care is also easier, it takes about 5 days to fall off and during that time you just rinse it once a day with water and soap.  I felt so much more comforable with this option, the risk was much lower and so was daddy's guilt!

Kimberley - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hi there Shana ummmmmm well i have a son too... and when i was prego for him i asked the same question to my father because my spouse didn't want it done and i did... and my father told me that he wasn't circumsized and he recommaned that i have my son done because its cleaner and safer for him to be done then not done.... because with not having him done you have to worry about making sure under the foreskin is always clean... and as he gets older you only hope he keeps himself clean there... and not having bacteria grow under the foreskin... so in my situation i ended up having my son circumsized and im proud and happy i did..... hope this helps...

Darlene - posted on 02/22/2009

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I have four boys that are all circumcised and I would never not circumcise them.  I use to babysit a 4 year old that was not circumcised and his penis actually burst.  He tried to go to the bathroom and the skin could not be pulled back and it burt all the way aroung and the neighbors babysitter came and got me to ask for help.  I told them to get the parents home and we packed it with ice until he was rushed to the hospital.  They were able to fix it but he was in horfic pain.  God says in the bible that all children should be circumcised as a covinant between the child and God.  

Cheryl - posted on 02/22/2009

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Quoting Shana:

To circumsize or not?

I am pregnant with my third child who is a boy (finally) and my husband does not want to circumsize him but I do. What is everyones' opinion on this and which would be better?



curcumsizon is such a personal choice. Many parents will circumsize if the father is circumsized, or not if he isn't. My brothers were not circumsized, and I know one of them worrid about it because most boy's were and he thought girls would be turned off by it.  They say that the skin is there to protect the penis from dirt and such.  I believe that people got caught up in the whole circumsizion thing years ago, but I think many are not doing it any more. I had my son done and he is now 23. I remember how bad it looked and hearing him cry. Had I know they did while he was wide awake like that, I don't know if I would have. My opinion is  since his dad will most likley be the one who will teach him as he gets older about guy things, maybe he should be the one to decide. I know I did it without getting any facts, and more because people said it looked better. I don't think that was a good reason. Just know that there is really no reason to circumsize, but there are a lot of good reasons not to. Hope I was able to help.

Anna - posted on 02/22/2009

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well, i have 2 boys, one is circumsized and one is not. My son is 9 now and is not circumsized, although i wish i had him done. If he is not going to be done then his father will need to make sure that your son will learn in the future how to take care of himself in that department later. you will always have to pull the foreskin back and clean it, to prevent the possibility of infection, and when he gets older and doesnt do this then it could be bad. Its really important to pull the foreskin back. they say men that are not circumsized have a greater chance of getting UTI's. Now my younger son is only 7 months and I had him done, they did the RING procedure on him, which i recommend, its easy to take care of and in less than a week the ring naturally falls off, unlike the bandages you will have to replace at every diaper change, with the ring you just wipe and thats it. I would have it done, but its no biggie if you dont.

Samantha - posted on 02/22/2009

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If I had to do it over again, I would not have circumsised my two boys, but their dad was and I did not have much of a choice in the matter - I agreed with what he wanted at the time.  I am in a new marriage and my husband is not circumsised.  I must say from a sexual perspective, sex is better, in my opinion, with a non circumsised man. I dont see hygiene an issue as long as boys/men wash themselves.  My step son is not circumsised and my two boys have asked why they had to be and wished that they weren't.  Once the skin is cut, it can't grow back.  That's my thoughts on the subject - good luck with your decision.

Amber - posted on 02/22/2009

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With my son we got him circumsized out of pure preference but my friend her husband and two boys aren't. and they've never had any problems.

Amber - posted on 02/22/2009

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With my son we got him circumsized out of pure preference but my friend her husband and two boys aren't. and they've never had any problems.

Amber - posted on 02/22/2009

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With my son we got him circumsized out of pure preference but my friend her husband and two boys aren't. and they've never had any problems.

Melanie - posted on 02/22/2009

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Quoting Shana:

To circumsize or not?

I am pregnant with my third child who is a boy (finally) and my husband does not want to circumsize him but I do. What is everyones' opinion on this and which would be better?



I was always pro circumcision until I had my son. There is no medical reason to circumcise most boys these days, and very few are actually done. I would wait and see how you feel about inflicting unnecessary pain on your bub once he's born, that's what had me change my mind.. If you still feel like it's something you want to do then, maybe have the discussion with your hubby again then. Hope that helps?? Good luck..

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hi, I have 2 little boys nearly 3yrs & 16 months. My husband is circumsized, so naturally he wanted his boys to be... We spoke with our Doctor before the birth of my first son and discussed reasons for & against it. Our Doctor explained the risks and that nowadays (In Australia) it is not normally done unless it is purely religon reasons, and when we were told that a risk is that during the procedure there could be some loss of blood and in extreme cases babies can die... that was enough for me to say NO! My husband agreed that the risks were too great for our baby so we decided against it.. with our 2nd son we did not even discuss it! Listen to your Doctor's advice but at the end of the day it's a decision that you and your husband need to decide. Good luck with it all!

Marlene - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hi Shana, Well here is my story. I have 2 boys and when my first son was born his Dad wanted him circumsized and that was it, no matter how much we spoke about it there was no changing his mind. At this time the hospitial did not do it so we had to book him into a local doctor at 6 weeks of age. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I creid the whole time putting the numbing gel on him and could not believe what I was going to put my son through for pruely a cosmetic procedure. When we arrived at the doctors I was told to go for a walk around the block so I could not hear him crying (I should have grab him and ran) When I got back from my walk my wonderful little son was crying like I had never heard before and my heart broke. I took him home, fed him and I cried the whole time. He was very swollen and no matter how much vas I used his nappy would stick to him. It was a very long and sad week. When my second son was born the debate started all over again. However my second son was born with a heart condition and my husband was told that if we circumsized him he would most likely have a heart attack from the shock. Deep down I was so relieved that I would not have to put my second son through the whole ordeal. Seven years later number one son has had problems and has needed to get some antibotic creme, were as number two has not had a hassle at all. Mate this is my story and yes I am a softie but in the end it is totally up to you and your hubby. Best of Luck with your newest member of the family.

Brandy - posted on 02/22/2009

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Usually, they say it is whatever the dad is, if he is not then maybe you should because as they get older they will think there is something wrong with them because they look different than there dad, and visa -versa. At least that is what the doctors had told me.

Pilar - posted on 02/21/2009

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I would have this talk with the doctor. It is not matter of the looks but rather of choice and religion. This is just my personal opinion and is one that I don't think it needs to come from anyone but yourself. 



 



I hope this helps .

Pilar - posted on 02/21/2009

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I would have this talk with the doctor. It is not matter of the looks but rather of choice and religion. This is just my personal opinion and is one that I don't think it needs to come from anyone but yourself. 



 



I hope this helps .

[deleted account]

Usually it's best to have the son be like the father.  If the father isn't circumsized, then don't circumsize the baby.  I have heard of many men who wish they had NOT been circumsized because they actually have more feeling in that area if the sheath is left intact.  Hygiene is taught and becomes normal.  



If you do circumsize, please have your pediatrician use a local anesthetic.  You'd be amazed at how many do not.  

Cyndi - posted on 02/21/2009

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I am a mother of six. Two girls and four boys. All four of our boys are circumsized. It is easier to keep their penis clean both as a child as well as when they are "old". I work for a school district, and we have had several boys who did not have this simple procedure done as babies and then had it done as adolescents. They had to be put under anesthesia and have it done in an operating room. Some of the other boys "teased" them in PE classes because they looked "different". It is certainly your choice regarding your son, but I would recommend having it done.

Lori - posted on 02/21/2009

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I have 3 boys. My oldest one is circumcised. My two younger boys are not my husband didnt believe in it. The oldest one has had no problems, my middle one has no problems and he cleans it really good himself. But my 4 year old is having problems going to the bathroom it is painful. And the skin on the penis wont pull back at all. So he has to have surgery next week to correct this. They will put him out and he will have pain meds when he goes home. But I wish I had them all circumcised when they were infants. It is cleaner for the boys. Also my uncle wasnt circumcised and he has some kind of cancer of the prostate and he had to have seeds implanted to kill the cancer and he had to have a surgery on his penis too. I just think its best all the way around to have them circumcised when infants.

Aimee - posted on 02/21/2009

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WE had our son sircumsized and I haven't  thought twice about it. I heard all of the horror stories, and that is what they are "stories", about how the child is scarred for life. Not true. My son didn't even cry. All I thought about is how painful it is if they want it done when they are older and Insurance won't cover it. Also I think it is hard it is to grow up and potty train let alone explain they have to clean here and move it there. It is a personal choice and I don't think religion or heritage should play a part in it. It is YOUR child and the two of you should make that decision together.

Cass - posted on 02/21/2009

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If they weren't meant to have the foreskin there, they wouldn't have been born with it. they say it's like slicing the clitoris of, that's how they circumcise the women. my son's head hasn't come out fully yet, but the local doctors down here r monitoring it. there's creams available to help with this process if need b.

Karin - posted on 02/21/2009

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Tho some religions have supoprted circumcision for centuries, I don't think it is a habit of "the olden days."  My father's religious beliefs would have had him circumcised, and he fought in VIetnam, but was not circumcised.  He grew up in a rural area and there were no local doctors that did the procedure, so it was never done.  But both my brothers were.  So, I respectfullly disagree that it is a practice of "the olden days."

Karin - posted on 02/21/2009

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I am for it for several reasons.



I am a nurse and worked years with a geriatric patient, if not for now, it makes sense when they are elderly and someone else is taking care of you- the uncircumsized patients often did not get cleaned up very well, I hate to say.  Ended up with some nasty looking skin sores.



Also, most boys are circumsized so I've heard that sometime boys get teased in the locker room for looking different.  Tho this can also be an issue if son get circumsized and dad is not.



From a sexuality point of view, I personally find uncircumsized mean a turn off.



All of these of course impact your child when he is much older, but if you don't do it thinking he can make the decision himself when he is older, he will never have it done.  Very few men actually chose to do it electively. 



Remember too, there really is no right or wrong answer here.  Good luck.

Adrienne - posted on 02/21/2009

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I just wanted to add something to my previous post: my hubby and his brother were both "snipped" at birth, but it really didn't have any bearing on whether we circumcised our boys. So now they're 8 and 4, and they've never had any medical problems from it.



And come to think of it, they've never asked why Daddy looks different than they do either.



One other thing you might want to consider: unless your hubby makes a habit of parading around the house nude in front of the children, they're not likely to notice the difference anyway. During potty training, maybe, but if either of mine ever said anything, it was only a fleeting thought of, "Huh, how 'bout that?" rather than, "Hey, I want one like THAT!"



I think that reaction comes later, when they discover cars. LOL



Again, best of luck to you!



Mandy - posted on 02/21/2009

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My husband wanted our son to be circumsized because he is. matching parts to the daddy seemed logical enough to me..

Jennifer - posted on 02/21/2009

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My son was not circumsized due to not weighing enough. And we have never wanted to have it done. He has not had any problems. He is now 12 years old. As they get older you do have to show them and really work it in them that they have to keep it clean. Keeping it clean is just like cleaning any other part, besides the fact that you have to pull the foreskin back. Now my son's pediatrician did tell us not to use alot of soap on it because it can iritate it. Other than that, that is all it is to it. And every year when he gets his yearly check up the dr checks to make sure everything is ok with it. I noticed a couple of previous post stated problems with not being circumsized. It doesn't necessarily mean you will have these problems. Everyone's body is different. As long as it is kept clean he should be fine. Hope this helps and good luck.

Linda - posted on 02/21/2009

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Okay, i am not sure what planet you are from but as far as circumcision goes the doctors do not RIP the skin away from the head of the penis. You make it sound so barbaric. It is as decently performed as any other medical procedure, professionally done. I am aware that many people do not approve of young babies having this procedure done but you must have knowledge before you speak!

Linda - posted on 02/21/2009

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What recovery??? maybe four or five days. Mom needs to know how to care for the procedure and then it is very simple. Can you imagine having this procedure done when you are an adult?!? PAIN...PAIN...PAIN! And that should be your decision as an adult male???? Okay. No man should have to go through this agony...ever! I have witnessed it, it is not pretty. I am not saying that small babies do not feel pain, but they just don't remember and that is the difference.

Stephanie - posted on 02/21/2009

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when i first got pregnant, i thought i was going to circumsize my baby boy. my husband and i talked it over with our midwife at one point and asked us why we wanted to do so? Well, that was a question i had not even considered. I guess it was more because of the social norm of it. When i saw her again, she gave me a packet of great info. on why i shouldnt circumsize and it completely changed my opinions on circumsizion. The doctors tell you that it is not painful for the baby, its more sanitary...etc. Well, i happened to walk by a nursery at the hospital after my baby was born during a circumsizion and oh my, the poor baby sounded like he was in so much pain! They do not give the baby any kind of anethesia as they chop away. It is actually much more sanitary for the baby too. As they get older and such. The foreskin that covers the head has a special kind of cleansing way to keep bacteria and such from the penis. It leaves the penis the way it is supposed to look! I dont know...there is much more i could say about it. But when i read that it is actually very painful for the baby and then conviently walking by a doc. doing one...i was glad i made the decision not to circumsize.

Stefanie - posted on 02/21/2009

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I think its a good idea for a child to be circumsized.  It eases my mind about infection later on. My brother had to get it done when he was 7 years old.....he is now 28 and remembers it to this day it was very painful. I was nervous to get it done, I hated changing his diaper because I had to see how painful it looks (its so red) but I wouldnt have had it any other way.

Shannon - posted on 02/21/2009

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I have a boy and i did get him circumsized for the simple fact of cleanliness, young and old.



I have a friend and she works at an old age home and she said there are few care takers there that will clean the men properly. She said that there has been a case were an older man was crying in pain because it was infected so bad he had to go for surgery!



 

JoAnna - posted on 02/21/2009

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I definetly am glad that I circumsized my two boys, not only do I findit cleaner and healthier, I have heard manny mixed feelings from doctors and ppl, but I know of some guys that did not get circumsized and are in their late 20's and really wish they were!!! So think of that when you make your decison what would be best and more "Comfortable in the future for them as well. Besides you will keep the bathroom cleaner if you get them cirumsized lol a poor shot at humor, ! Hope this helps!! Congrats on your 3rd Child!

User - posted on 02/21/2009

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At our local hospital the circs were done by interns! Yikes! Also i think if foreskin wasn't neccessary that it would have gone away (like our tails)! Ask your baby doc WHO will be doing the procedure!!! Our son did not get a circumsision and his pedi doc said as long as we teach him how to clean it that it wont be a problem at all. Until they are about age 3 you dont need to do anything special to clean it or anything so that shouldn't be a factor. Good luck to ya! and congrats on your boy!

[deleted account]

When my son was born my grandma told me I should get him circumsized because, my uncle was 8 yrs old when he had do be circumsized.  She never did explain why they had to at that age but she said no boy should ever have to go through that as such an age.  I have never regreted the choice I made.  And even if my grandma hadn't told me her story I was going to anyway.



 



One thing you should think about is you husband circumsized, because whether he is or isn't if you choice the opposite you son might question why his is different.

Jaime - posted on 02/21/2009

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Is there a religous reason why your husband does not want your son circumsized?  Is your husband circumsized?  Besides the unattractive look of an uncircumsized penis, there are some health concerns that could arise.  If an uncircumsized penis is not well cleaned, bacterial infections will become a problem.  Tell your husband to relax, insurance covers this procedure!

Jaime - posted on 02/21/2009

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Is there a religous reason why your husband does not want your son circumsized?  Is your husband circumsized?  Besides the unattractive look of an uncircumsized penis, there are some health concerns that could arise.  If an uncircumsized penis is not well cleaned, bacterial infections will become a problem.  Tell your husband to relax, insurance covers this procedure!

Rae Ann - posted on 02/21/2009

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Quoting Shana:

To circumsize or not?

I am pregnant with my third child who is a boy (finally) and my husband does not want to circumsize him but I do. What is everyones' opinion on this and which would be better?



I personally have circumcized all 3 of my boys due to the fact that I had a friend whose son of 9 years old was having to get circumcized due to infection from not washing himself correctly by pulling the foreskin back. At that point, I realized that as a baby they don't remember it later and there is no guarantee that unless you are washing your son, that he will do it correctly.

Meggin - posted on 02/21/2009

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Quoting Shana:

To circumsize or not?

I am pregnant with my third child who is a boy (finally) and my husband does not want to circumsize him but I do. What is everyones' opinion on this and which would be better?



I am a childbirth educator and can tell you that the American Academy of Pediatrics has no stance on this. It truly is a personal choice. There is some research out suggesting that boys that are NOT circumcised have a little higher rate of penile cancer, urinary tract infections, and their future sexual partners have a higher risk of ovarian cancer. This research is all very old and to this day is still inconclusive and not been proven.   I can tell you that the circ rates have dropped significantly in the US sometimes with rates of around 25% in east and west coast regions.



IF you should choose to circumcise him the one thing the AAP does promote is using a local anesthetic.  They should be using a topical that sits for awhile and then a dorsal block in the base of the penis and let that sit and THEN do the procedure. When done correctly like that most little boys sleep through the procedure.



Hope this helps!

[deleted account]

our son is just over a year, our doctor told us that it's not a necessary procedure, but...., if you decide to do it (are you American or Canadian), I'm Canadian from Winnipeg and you have to pay for it and if you wait until later it costs a lot more.

Melissa - posted on 02/21/2009

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My 2 cents...



I strongly believe circumcision to be blatant genital mutilation. I think it is abusive and is a practice that in a few generations time will be looked at in horror by most people. Why on earth do people voluntarily have part of their little boys bodies chopped off?



I understand that as Mothers we all do what we think is best and are very protective of how we decide to raise our children. Maybe more research and education is needed.

Lisa - posted on 02/21/2009

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I had my son done,but now looking back i iwsh i ahd not. I did it for purly selfish reasons as i prefer circumsized to un. but the Dr. who did my son did not do it right. and welli cried everytime i changed his bum for months after because i put him thru that. I have advised my girls  that if they have boys not to get them done as we as women do not know how it feels to have skin GOD placed there taken away from our bodies. I think it is purely  up to u an ur husband to discuss and weigh the pros and cons. If i was to have another boy I would NOT get it done.



God bless and good luck,

Barbra - posted on 02/21/2009

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Quoting Dora:

Is your husband uncircumcised? I circumcised my boy mostly because his papa is and I wouldn't wont him asking Why his looked different!!!



With this, it's like saying give them growth hormones because daddy is taller.  You simply need to explain to them that yes you and daddy look different.  Daddy's hair is longer/shorter then yours is.  your hair is a different color.  you wear different size shoes, or clothes then daddy.  No big deal.  They will only make a big deal out of it if you do.

Gretel - posted on 02/21/2009

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My husband didn't like the idea of circumcision, but we talked to our pediatrician and we got information about it. My husband weighed the pros and cons and we decided that circumcision was the better choice for us.

Barbra - posted on 02/21/2009

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I have a son and did not circumsize him.  Yes there is slightly more care involved as they reach about 5 years old, however I was not willing to put my son through that much pain with no pain killers just days or hours after the birth.  That is another consideration.  They do not use pain killers.  They litterally rip the skin away from the penis and cut it.  It is not until a boy is about 5-6 years old that is starts to come away from the base of the penis.  My ex-husband and I both agreed that we would not have it done.  Men do feel more sexual pleasure because the tip of the penis is the most sensitive part and that is covered all the time not being desensitized.  Also I know men who wish they had not been circumsized.  Look at it this way, If he grows up and wants it done, they can then use pain killers, and then it is his choice, not yours.  If my son wants it done later in life my ex-husband and I agree that we will pay for it, but it will be his choice wether or not it is done.  Not mine as a woman who has no idea.

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