Today i took my 4 year old Piper to the mall and let her skip school. She has having troubles with the idea of mommy having a baby. So i took her shopping at the mall and i let her pick out a outfit for the baby then a teddy bear. We had so much fun and she enjoyed it. I think she really like it bc mommy bought her new stuff! But we were sitting down eating cupcakes when she ask, Mommy why are you having a baby when you have me and what does a baby have that i don't have? It broke my heart so much that i had to go to the bathroom to cry. I came about and change the subject. I took her on this trip to make her feel special and trying to get her be ok with being a big sister. I never had this happen to me with my other girls! What should i do i thought i was doing the right thing but i geuss i'm not!

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Mommy why are you having a baby if you got me and what does a baby have that i don't have, my 4 year old said this to me, what do i do?!?!?!?


Holly - posted on 10/23/2012




let her know that you love her SO much, and it isn't about trying to get something that she doesn't have, but about you and daddy, and her having SOOO much love that you want to share it with another baby. and that you think that she will be such a GREAT big sister.


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Megan - posted on 10/23/2012




When i had my twins i already had triples. I did differant things with them and they went to this thing i don't remember were but they help them and understand what its like to be a big sis or bro or they just did differant things with them. I sat them down once and while and explain to them that mommy loves them so much and she going to love these babies but not like how she loves you! I read them book about becoming a big sis and bro then i let them get things for the twins. They help do the babies room and everythign we did with the twins they did too! One thing i did was i let them make a scarp book about the babies. They were young still but i waned them to know mommy was still going to love them.

[deleted account]

This is what I'd start out with, when you do sit her down to talk about this: You are you, no one in the world is like you or ever will be. You can never be replaced. This baby is this baby, no one in the world is like this baby or ever will be. This baby also can never be replaced.

You are both precious, never will one be more important than the other. Think about all of the fun things you get to do. Wouldn't it be fun to teach your little brother or sister how to do these things?

Keep talking positively about the entire experience.

In my case I had my second for my first. I wanted them to be close. I love my kids, and told my daughter daily through the entire pregnancy that I loved her. My son is now almost a year, and they play very well together. This is a huge change, and can be scary for a child.

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