Too much texting from bio mom?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

My step kids are 13 and 16. We have them 50/50 and they both have mental health issues. Their mom sends excessive text messages to the 13 year old when he is at our house. They average from 10 to 113 per day. I don't know about the 16 year old because we don't see his phone bill. The 13 year old is very mean and does not have friends. He is in therapy, but it does not help anything because mom interferes with everything we do. I also have no parental power and am treated as a maid and cook. Any advice? Any thoughts on all of that texting from mom? I would think one to two per week would be plenty. Thanks!


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Holly - posted on 01/29/2013




over 100 texts is excessive, perhaps have a rule that you do not get the phone except between specific hours during the day I can imagine that the mother is texting 100 times a day that it is interfering with your husbands time with him.

Angela - posted on 01/29/2013




Why not ask the step mother if she would like a phone call from her child(ren) each evening? That might cut out the numerous texts - also offer them the chance to make these calls in private.

She may be on a cell phone package where for a fixed sum per month she gets a certain number of minutes and unlimited texts. I'm on a similar arrangement myself. As I feel phone companies rip people off (like every other utilities supplier!) I tend to send a lot of texts myself. This is a great thing to be able to do, especially if your minutes allocation has run out! Do not judge this woman too harshly.

However if she texts for no real reason that is beneficial to either her or her children, then she's wasting her time, everybody's time and being "clingy". And I would say 100+ texts per day is probably overdoing it!

And you could try sending dozens of texts in one day yourself when the kids are at their mothers - see how she likes it, LOL!!

Starr - posted on 01/25/2013




Didn't read all the other posts but over a hundred times seems excessive to me. I would think a few times a day would be more acceptable. Otherwise I could see how it would interfere with your family time as he would be distracted and preoccupied wih mom all day. It certainly is a touchy one bc you don't want to be unsupportive or the wicked stepmom by discouraging contact with thier mother.

[deleted account]

I can see texts sent and received on my phone bill. Most of the texts are received not sent. This child has no social life outside of mom and he is very mean. Mom has treated me as I have no value, therfore that is how I am treated by the kids. Mom raises so much hell with dad that I just stay out of it. Would you text your child every hour on the hour or would you let them have a life outside of you? These kids have a lot of mental health issues.

I was asking an honest question and I appreciate Michelle' s response. Thank you.

[deleted account]

Angela, I think you are being a little too rude here. To me Lesha was asking for advice. If this 13 year old is troubled and in therapy.. How do you know that the mom has some kind of influence over him that isn't good. I don't know the whole situation here, but when it comes to a mom texting her kid.. well it is a good thing.. but, why not just call the child on the phone and talk that way is what I am curious about. Is there something that mom don't want someone to over hear?

As for being a woman of a house and have step kids in my house 50/50.. Well, I am a mom and if I were in that situation to where my husband and I split and he got a new woman and they become her step children.. well that stepwoman should have all rights on how to tell the child what is what. The only way as a mom, that I would step in is if it has harm to my children. As for me texting my child all the time.. well, I would rather listen to him talk on the phone.. But, I wouldn't be over accessive about it. Think about it.. it is the time with daddy. If there is something seriously wrong going on.. yey, I would be in touch all the time.. or shall I say, my kids wouldn't be in it. However this child has problems.. What caused it..? If you can get behind of what the problem is and if it is the mom.. yey there would be concern.

As for being a maid or such in my own home.. that wouldn't happen.. I would tell my opinion, wether someone liked it or not.

Angela - posted on 01/25/2013





"Their mom sends excessive text messages to the 13 year old when he is at our house. They average from 10 to 113 per day. I don't know about the 16 year old because we don't see his phone bill....."

Don't understand this! Surely the phone bill wouldn't list texts RECEIVED anyway? Only the texts SENT (as they're the ones paid for - costs nothing to receive a text!

Don't know why you're worried about texts! So your stepchild's mother texts him. Is a mother not entitled to keep contact with her child?

Who is treating you like a maid and a cook? Your partner? Your stepchildren?

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