Trying to understand my 20 year old son.

Betty - posted on 06/29/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have been a single mom for 20 years now that my kids are grown I have decided to get married. I have a son who is 20 years old and another 22 years old. My 20 year old has been very rebellious. He has been staying out all night claiming he is working. I asked him to call me when he have to stay late but he will not. He will not contribute nor help in the house so I changed the lock on the doors. He claims he is sleeping in his car but believe he is with his friends house. He will not talk to me.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/29/2015




Well, he's 20. Perhaps he feels that he's an adult (he is, after all) and capable of making his own decisions on where and how to live. Sounds like he didn't mind you changing the locks much...
So, I'd say, he's 20. He's ready to be on his own, and has made his move. He'll probably talk to you once you start treating him as an adult, and respecting his decisions, rather than as a child still needing your input on everything.
I know it's difficult at this stage. My eldest is 21, and ours has been a very cool transition. He still is in and out at the house, grabbing a meal with us, doing laundry, or just helping out and hanging around. He's very much instilled in his own life, in his own place, and has been for 2 years now.
I will say this: If he decides he does want to come back into your home, he needs to do so under contract for room & board. It will be better for all parties if everyone has a clearly outlined document stating responsibilities and obligations for each.


View replies by

Aster302516 - posted on 06/29/2015




I can understand your concern regarding your son, Betty. My mom faced this with my brother too. He became more responsible and understanding as he grew older. I just said a prayer for you and your son. I really hope things get better soon. Hugs to you!


Diana - posted on 06/29/2015




Stand Strong some boys take a little longer to mature and realize we have lives too and if you want respect you have to give it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms