Tween Dressing Crisis!

Alice - posted on 12/16/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 12yr old daughter started middle school this year and it seems each year, girls wear less and less! This morning, she wanted to wear this exposing top called a "crop-top" and I thought it was very inappropriate. I told her that she couldn't wear it and she started to give me an attitude about it. I sent her to school wearing something else. What bothers me is that she thinks this kind of outfit is acceptable, and even worse, the school doesn't seem to care either! What should I do to get her out of this mindset? I don't want her to be seen as a party-girl or something to adults.


Raye - posted on 12/16/2015




Rules and consequences. You can't control what other parents or the school allows, but you can control what you allow. Why does she even have the crop-top? Get rid of the inappropriate clothes, or have her work for the chance to wear them on weekends or whatever. You're the mom, not her. She is too young to understand.

What you wear doesn't define who you are as a person or determine your worth as a human being. However, fair or not, people judge us by the way we look and that includes the way we dress. There is a "rape culture" in the US that tends to put more blame on girls for what they wear than on boys who weren't taught that it's not okay to rape. What you wear can also affect how you behave or your mood. If you feel sexier in an outfit, you're likely to engage in more risky behavior. People who work from their house are usually more productive if they still "dress for work". Clothes do make a difference to ourselves and to others.

"Modest is hottest". "Dress to be admired, not simply desired". When women dress appropriately, it shows she believes she has more to offer than looks, that she doesn’t feel the need to prove anything. It shows respect for herself, and leads others to believe she will respect them also. It instills trust. And she will still be desirable - to the right guy. A lack of modesty tells people that she seeks attention, and that she may have a deep-seated need that is going unmet.

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