Courtney - posted on 11/29/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




Hey, So I am a 18 and pregnant. I am all alone. my mom kicked me out. && the babys father was told by his parents not to say a word to me until the baby is born and a paternity test can be done. The mom still wants all of the info on my pregnancy though. I told her if he is not going to directly talk to me i would not be sharing all the info. His mom then texts me saying i am a a horrible person, they dont believe the baby is his, and i will deeply regret not telling her stuff. Its long long paragraphs about how im bullying them and trapping them by not telling them. She says her family is a family full of lawyers and i should be worried. I burned my bridge. Im just so lost and upset. All I wanted was her son to put input in on raising this child. She then replies "there is nothing anyone other than the person carrying ht baby can do, untill its born, not even my son." Not true just becasue the baby is not physically here dosent mean we cant prepare for this blessing. I found a job, an affordable town home, and im enrolled in community college. im saving and preparing the best I can. The only issue is i am moving out of state to this home. Ill be four months pregnant. They say i will greatly regret leaving as well. I dont understand though, The dad has not said a word to me since i told him, and he mom said he will not say a word until the baby is born and a paternity test is done. But i cant wait to plan for a baby untill after he is born you know? If they take me to court will he end up getting custody. She sends me text, very hurtful ones and when i defend my self she says im delusional, crazy, and psycho. Im afraid since her family is a family full of lawyers she knows what shes doing..... Any advice please!!!!!


Lacye - posted on 11/29/2012




I read a post very similar to this one not too long ago. Are you the same person?

If not, this is what I said to the other person:

There really isn't anything they can do to you before the baby is born. Afterwards they can take you to court, but the likely hood of them getting custody while the child is that age is very slim. You would have to be a crack whore from hell who is holding a knife to the child while in court before they will take it from you.

Save everything that she has been sending you and take it to the police and let them know she is harassing you. If necessary, have a restraining order put against her. It's really none of her business what is going on with you or the baby because she is not the child's parent. She is a grandparent. Nothing more. She is bluffing you and scaring you big time.

As for the father, until he contacts you, do not provide any information. Until he can man up and get his ass out from behind his mommy's skirts, he doesn't deserve it. Go ahead and move. The child isn't here yet. Nothing they can do to you right now.

Also, as soon as the baby is born, contact child services and let them know you need to go after the father for child support. Do it immediately. If you make the first move, the case will stay in the county or state that you are in at that time.

Just keep in mind that when it comes to the child right now, you are the one in control. The baby is still in your body. Yes the guy is the father but it seems like he is just waiting to see what happens. There is not a damn thing they can do to you until after the baby is born and even then, unless they can prove you to be a shit ass mother, there is nothing much they can do to you.


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Dove - posted on 11/29/2012




I'm pretty sure it's the same person (though not searching to find out) with a slightly changed op....

SHE won't get custody, but after the baby is born HE can get a paternity test and potentially get joint custody.... which would be a pain in the butt for everyone if you are moving far away. Ignore the mother completely and save evidence of all her harassment. Let her know (in writing) that you have no problem discussing the baby with the baby's father directly and that you WANT to discuss plans for the baby any time HE wants to contact you.... and then ignore HER 100%.

You aren't doing anything wrong. They are right that there isn't really much that can be done until the baby is born, but SHE is wrong that it is any of her business. If her son wants to fill her in... that is his business, but it's not YOUR job to discuss the baby with anyone other than him.

Sarah - posted on 11/29/2012




Courtney- Do not respond to her and move on with your plan. After the child is born you can have a DNA test done to show paternity and then and only then will you go through a custody hearing. At that point the Most a judge would grant is 50/50 custody presuming your not on drugs or otherwise abusing/neglecting your child. The only tricky thing is depending on what states you and the father live in, some states will give custody to whomever physically has the child until such a time as the custody is decidedby the court. Meaning, If you dont have a custody agreement on file in the courts, if you let the father see the child and he takes him/her back to his state there may not be a lot you can do about it. Protectc yourself and find out your state laws. And the laws of the state you want to move to.

Holly - posted on 11/29/2012




honestly you can set up a court order WHILE you are pregnant. that way you don't have to do all this WHILE carrying around a new born baby. go ahead and set up something with a lawyer.

DARLENE - posted on 11/29/2012




I think you should not tex them back but be smart and keep all the texs they send you. Even if they hurt you, don't say a word. I did this and it made them crazy but it was useful in court when they thought they had a rights to my child.Do not let yourself get pravoked unto saying things that they might be saying about you. They may be keeping your tex for court.

Holly - posted on 11/29/2012




i would not speak to her or text her. do not reply to ANYTHING she texts, she is trying to bait you... THAT you will regret, just ignore her, and keep all her texts that she sends, to show that she is constantly harassing you

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