Verbally & emotionally abusive husband and custody

LEONGMAMA - posted on 09/30/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




I have a two year old son. My husband owns the house we live in which is in the middle of nowhere Ireland. I don't drive and am totally isolated. I am from the UK. My husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive since I we got married and I got pregnant. He calls me a f--king c--t and fat b---h when I am trying to reason with him about things (I never call him names nor shout) and he's been doing this in front of our two year old. He slams doors and bangs on furniture when we argue. I've been in touch with Domestic Violence, counselling and everyone says I should leave him and I do. But I'm really worried that I won't get full custody. My husband is never at home (leaving us marooned in the middle of nowhere with no public transport) but I worry he will stop me moving back to the UK where I've my family and friends and job prospects. I want to move back to the UK when we separate as I've no-one here and there's no work. My son also loves the city where I'm from in the UK and is close to his grandparents. I would move back in with parents as I've no income of my own. I know legally I can't move back to UK with my son unless court or my husband agrees and that is what I'm worried about. Although if it came to that I'd still make a go without husband and stay in Ireland and bring up son on my own. What I'm worried about is if court decided my son stays with husband weekends or holidays since my husband is never at home and when he is at home he doesn't do much with my son. He has a temper problem which he addresses in marriage counselling but hasn't changed. He has no patience (worried about him verbally abusing my son and he does manhandle my son) and the man can't even hear a fire alarm go off in the middle of the night. He has never got up for my son when my son wakes up in the middle of the night crying. Last year I was sick and I asked him to take a day off to look after our son but he refused saying he couldn't let his work down (he is always at work doing unpaid overtime). Will the court really make my son spend weekends and holidays with my husband when he is never at home and never puts his child first? I know courts are not always fair these days. I know of two working parents getting divorced and the parents got a one week on one week off arrangement from the court! My son and I have been isolated in this house in the middle of nowhere since he was born so we are very close. Will the court take that into consideration? I would never stop my husband from seeing my son and I've told him to let us move back to the UK and he can visit whenever he wants. I'm just worried because when I get the guts to leave him that he'll make me pay for it by trying to get our son. I don't want any share of his property or anything. I just want to move on with my life. Has anyone been through the same situation?

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