Visitors after baby...?

Nicole - posted on 02/18/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Okay so my daughter was born about 2 months ago. Now we have a pretty group of close family members, my husbands mom, stepdad, and father, and my mom, dad, and stepmom. Also I have two grandmothers that are involved in my life. All of these 8 people live within 20 minutes of my house and all of them expect to visit us once a week. Since being home from the hospital we have had non stop guests in our home and it has gotten to the point were I needed some peace and quite, So I told everyone that I would be having a week were we had no one come over. No one was understanding like I assumed they would be. my mom, stepmom and mother in law all stopped talking to me. My MIL has been texting my husband saying im a selfish person and that she does not want to see me anymore and for him to bring the baby over without me. So what started out as a week of peace for me has turned into more problems than its worth. any advice on how to handle all of these visitors without making my whole family angry at me?


Sarah - posted on 02/18/2015




I would say let them be angry. You are not going to be able to please them all all of the time, especially as the baby becomes older there are going to be other situations where you will need to set boundaries that they may not like. I know the drama is not easy to live through, so you do have to decide what is worth the fight and what is not. But I will tell you that when you start to set boundaries it does get easier as just like a child at first they throw a fit and tantrum (not talking to you), but once they realize that this is the boundary you set and this is where you AND your husband stand (both need to be on the same page.....again just like a child if one parent gives in then it does not work). They will accept the boundary. They may not like it and they may grumble about it, but they will accept it.

A thing you can do is to call a family meeting with everyone and be open and honest with them. Letting them know that you love them and want them to be involved, but that there are going to be times when you have to set boundaries and limits so that you and your husband can be a family unit as well. Again your husband has to be in support and voice this as well.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/18/2015




I would have a family dinner/picnic/meal. Something where you can sit everyone down and explain boundaries to them.

Let them know you appreciate all the love and attention being showered upon you, but remind them what it was like for them, with their newborns, and the adjustment of being parents. Remind them that you love them all, and that as baby grows, they all will be important in the upbringing, but that you, as a core family unit, will need to have some boundaries respected.

Michelle - posted on 02/18/2015




Sarah has said it all. You do need you husband to back you up though and not agree to taking the baby to visit without you.

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