Wanting a Specific Gender

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

Have any of you wished for a specific gender, only to be disappointed? What made you think differently or come around to accepting what your son/daughter? Now I know there are many women here that have suffered infertility and pregnancy loss, myself included. I know that a HEALTHY baby, either gender, was desired. I'd like to make this a pleasant, non-judgemental conversation please. I've read about women who have suffered depression because they did not give birth to the girl or boy they desired. It's my hope that maybe this thread will help in a therepuetic kind of way knowing there are other moms who felt the same way.

As for me, when I learned I was having a son I was estatic! I would have equally have been thrilled with a girl as well. A healthy baby was all I wanted.


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Rhionna - posted on 06/28/2009




When I was little I always saw myself as a mum to girls, I don't know why. I had a boy first and wasn't disappointed, but when I found that my second was a boy it hit me really hard, mostly cos my MIL kept saying that "Boys run in MY family, so you're not gonna have a girl" that was before we knew the sex. By the time he was born I'd accapted that he was a boy and that it didn't really matter as he would be loved. When I asked my hubby to try for a third, he said yes but to wait for a bit. When I fell pregnant with my third I didn't get my hopes up for any gender, I just wanted a healthy baby, so when we went for our 20 week scan and they couldn't tell the sex, we spent the next 21 weeks wondering, to my suprise I had a little girl, and am truely grateful that God blessed me with her, but it doesn't mean I love my boys any less, I just feel that she has completed my family! x

Ashley - posted on 06/27/2009




i have a yr old boy and pregnant with my 2nd boy. this boy will be my parents 6th grandson. they dont have any granddaughters. would a girl be nice? absolutely, but i never once said i would be upset if i were to have another boy. i think you should love that baby no matter what they are. people who say they were so devestated that they cried for days when they found out they were having opposite of what they have should be blessed that they are even pregnant and carrying a healthy child. i know of someone who was so mad that she was having a boy she said she'd cut his penis off when he was born and she wouldnt even name him, his father did. well she ended up having pre-e so bad he was born at 32 wks. born at 2 pounds 4 ounces and almost lost him. to me that's god saying you should be happy with what you have and not act like a child over it. my first son almost died on us at 2 wks old with bacterial meningitis. the first 48 hrs were critical they werent sure if he was going to make it or not. so i think everyone should be happy with what they have whether it's 5 girls or 5 boys or a mixture. instead of being so picky everyone needs to think of those women that cant have children and would do anything to have one. if people want to pick and choose what they want then they should adopt, but that's my opinion...:)

[deleted account]

We always said that we wanted a little boy. Well when she arrived we couldnt have cared less that she wasnt one! We still want a little boy but if/when we have bub #2 that was also a little girl I would be just as happy all over again.

Kate - posted on 06/27/2009




My first pregnancy I honestly did not care...really. People always assumed I had a secret preference but I didn't. I found I was having a little girl and I was thrilled (every one of my mom's siblings had a girl first, and I was the first one to have a baby of my generation, also a girl first, so it made sense). With my second pregnancy I knew it was a boy, but kind of wanted a girl...mostly because DH wanted a "junior" and I did not, and I didn't want to address the issue. I did want a boy at some point though, little boys looked adorable! Anyway, we found out this one IS a boy and I was a little disappointed at first but also happy...and now that we have the name thing solved (not junior) I am excited to meet my son (4 weeks)!

Amie - posted on 06/22/2009




I never really thought about it while I was pregnant. Though before I was I had always wanted 2 girls and 2 boys. Well I have 3 girls and one boy. I feel for him, the girls are already walking all over him. LOL. When our baby (3 months next monday) cries he goes running to her. When he walks away he'll tell us... mommy/daddy you watch her ok? Then if she does cry again he comes running back before we can even get up from our chairs. He's very protective of his other two sisters too. He's gone head to head with some of the other neighborhood kids defending his sisters. It's all quite funny at the moment, he's only 4. LOL! I don't even want to think about what they'll be like as teenagers. I'm sure I will get a lot of white hair during that span. haha. =)
I'm not overly concerned that I didn't get 2 of each. I'm just glad they are healthy and happy. If we do decide to have one more though I will be hoping for a boy. =) Our boy and my hubby need one more on their side. LOL!

Sarah - posted on 06/22/2009




I really wanted girls, and that's what i got!! I always thought i wouldn't like to have a boy.
My friend was the same, didn't want a boy, she already had a girl and when she fell pregnant, she always said she didn't know how she would cope with a boy. Guess what? She had a boy!! She said after the initial shock had worn off (like 5 mins worth i think!) she just fell in love with him!!!
I think it's your baby at the end of the day, so you love them boy or girl!
If i ever had another, i'd like another girl, but seeing how much my friend loves, no, ADORES her little boy, has me much less worried about having a boy. (not that i'm planning any more!!)

[deleted account]

It's funny you brought this up. When I was pregnant, I kept saying the politically correct answer to the question Boy or Girl...I would say "I want a healthy baby." Secretly, I really wanted a boy. I had a boy. Now, pregnant with #2, I'm getting that same question from people. One of my friends said, "OH maybe now you'll get your girl." This time around I'm not being so PC about it lol Of course, I want healthy, but I want another boy and I don't feel bad for feeling that way. If it turns out I'm having a girl, will I be disappointed? No. I'll just have to adjust my thinking, buy some pink stuff and pray I don't have a girly girl lol I'm SO not a girly girl. It would be just and fair punishment for me though, to have a girly girl....it would make up for all the times in high school I made fun of cheerleaders lol (no offense intended to anyone who ever was or may still be a cheerleader lol)

[deleted account]

I was just lucky/blessed that I always got what I wanted! The first two times I wanted a girl and said I would SEND IT BACK if it was a boy. Why I felt this way is totally a mystery to me now, but that's what I got. For #3 I honestly did not care as long as the baby was healthy. I got a girl which was fine since that is what I was used to. For #4 I knew it would be our last one and I REALLY REALLY wanted a boy (mainly for hubby's benefit, the estrogen level is almost lethal around here). He did turn out to be a boy and now I wish I'd had about 3 more boys. They're GREAT!! Much less drama than girls.

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