wanting to meet my sons father other baby mother

Jacquia - posted on 11/11/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Ive bn asking my sons dad over two years to meet his other baby mother.. We have not been together in over four years. He comes and gets my son on the weekend and he stays with his girlfriend their child and her kids. As a mother and woman i need to kno who my son is around.. For the longest he keeps sayn your going to meet her doon and it has yet to happen. So today i told him when he brought him hone enough is enough you will not be able to take him over there until i can meet het. And as a woman she should respect it and understand me. He laughed like it was a joke. What am i to do it should be no problems for me to meet her there child together is 3 years old noe like come on. If i had a man around i would let him meet him just out of respect and so he can kno who hes around. He knows her but i dont its to many craxy prople out here in this world...


Jodi - posted on 11/11/2013




I hate to tell you, but you can't dictate who your child is around when he is with his father. Not unless you have evidence demonstrating that your child's safety is at risk or unless you have an order stating this. He doesn't have to introduce you. Of course, it would be respectful if he did, but it sounds like he has no intention of doing so if you've been asking for this long.

Can you say he can't take the child any more? Well, there are several answers to this. If you have court orders, no you can't. if you don't have court orders, and he decides to take you to court for not allowing him visitation, you could be accused of parental alienation.

Ask yourself, who are you REALLY punishing by withholding visitation? have you considered that you are also punishing your son? What did he do wrong to deserve to be told he can't see his dad anymore?

Anyway, I just also wanted to share that I have never personally met any of my ex's girlfriends. Despite how I feel about the man, and the hell he has put me through, I trust him enough to believe that he loves his son and would never allow him to be harmed. I also know that my son has been happy and I've not had concerns about his welfare. On that basis, where is the justification to withhold visitation? There isn't any. Not to mention I'd be in contempt if I did.

All I can suggest, at this point, is that you try to have court orders drawn up that state that you can request to meet with a girlfriend in this type of situation. However, this "could" lead to him lying to you about the arrangements and create angst with your child if your son feels he has to lie about it to keep dad happy.

I know it isn't what you want to hear, because I agree that you should be able to meet her if you request, but the fact is, it isn't a given. In an ideal world.....wouldn't it be great?

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