What advice do you have for mother-in-law visits? How do you cope?

Katherine - posted on 05/27/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )




Well actually I got along better with my MIL than my mom. So I can't complain :)



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[deleted account]

I wish my inlaws visited us.....so what we live in a 2 bedroom apt......u are here to see the kids...we are expected to go over Sundays (their only day off) my hubby works 10pm to 730ish am & his only day off is Monday night. So he isn't supposed to sleep Sunday to go to his parents...I dont think so

Our Monday nights are FAMILY NIGHT......I also can't stand how my MIL had to feed the kids my 3 1/2& 2 1/2 yr old girls are fine, but my 8 month old son was born with intestines outside the body, therefore I am the ONLY one to feed him. She fed him some bread (obviously when I wasn't around) my baby didn't poop for 2 1/2 days....I told her I am the I only one to feed him

The other day we went to the GI and we are sticking to cereal mixed with fruit and then just regular fruits. We go see her and shes like " so he's eating everything right". Uh no. I dont think they understand his condition.....I DONT want her holding him while she eats. I told her here I'll hold him while u eat & to me it seemed like she just shoved him over the table to me....

Sorry it's more like a vent lol

[deleted account]

Don't tell my children what to do then myself or their dad is there to parent them.
Don't tell me what to wear or how to dress my family for an activity because you think I am incapable of making this decision.
Don't tell me how my children or pets act as if I am oblivious to my family.
Do mind your own business.

Bobbie - posted on 05/29/2012




well you can try to find things you have in common & have fun or you can be the kind of person who just lets things Happen Be the bigger person be thoughtful toward her & things will be ok
I actually got alone with both the mother in laws I had I just didn't get alone with my exhusband but I guess thats why his my ex!

Sal - posted on 05/29/2012




I won't have to worry anymore as on her last visit I threw her Christmas gift out the front door and te her to get the f@$k out of my house... No more probe now

Louise - posted on 05/29/2012




I am lucky with mine she is a little gem, but it has not always been that way.

Best advice is make a cup of tea and smile, say nothing, keep it all in until she has gone and then explode like a volcano to your poor husband!

DRUSILLAH - posted on 05/28/2012




Hi Katherine,i understand you pretty well.have seen how horrible some mother inlaws can be,but i thank God i got one who is very wonderful.But what i can say it just try to treat her the best you can.our moms are somebody else's MIL,so treat them the way you would wish the others to treat your mother.All the best dear.Drue

Chessa - posted on 05/28/2012




After the birth of my first child, I had many problems with my MIL even though our relationship was good for the first 7 years before grandchildren entered the picture. I started to resent her for being there, even though we only saw them a few times a year, (hubby's a Marine). However, my own mother suddenly passed away March 2011. During the last week of my Mom's life, my MIL took time off of work, stayed to help with my son, and helped with my parent's house, though she lived a state over. My second son was born in Dec.2011 with complications, put into the PICU. My MIL immediately booked a flight to be with us. I had run my mouth sometimes being justified, others times taking it too far. Looking at my kids, I tried to put myself in her shoes. It is important for our kids to know their grandparents, if they have their hearts in the right place. I told her that we may not always agree on certain things, but I want her to be in my babies' lives actively. In the end, what my husband and I say goes, but I encourage as much time as my kids can get with their grandparents. Life is too short to put up walls about the small stuff. Your kids know who their parents are. Communication without disrespect or embarrassment is key.

Carole - posted on 05/28/2012




Erin and Emily, Thank you! Your replys show wisdom and compassion. If you really love her and accept her, your MIL could become a dear friend, and a asset to your family, unless she's just extremely hard to get along with. Give her your love and let her love you. Talk kindly and openly with her. Hey, some of you may be MIL's some day yourselves so do everything you can to have a good relationship. You have no idea how horrible it would feel to be treated with disrespect,disdain or even hatred by someone you really wanted to be close to and love.

Erin - posted on 05/28/2012




Try to make a positive experience out of it. There's got to be something that she likes to talk about, and if she is a guest in your home, I think it's only polite to ask about her life and get to know her better. Lots of people complain about their MIL's you know, but it's worth it to give them a chance before drawing judgement. And if you know what she likes, what her hobbies are, maybe try planning some activities you can do together surrounding that. Or even show her something you like to do too. You could just end up getting along great. And if she does step on your toes where the kids are concerned, just politely pull her aside and talk alone and politely with her about it.

Gina - posted on 05/28/2012




MIL can be annoying when cone to visit every weekend that because my hubby is er only child. I put him in his place that I need my space and want to spend time with the family in weekend

[deleted account]

My mother-in-law died before our first child was born so I've never had this. Also, my mother lives three thousand miles away so we don't see her much (what would we do without skype!). So as a mum trying to raise two kids without much family involvement (my husband works away during the week as well), I am slightly envious of those who have family close by. As I keep telling a young relative who just had her second, "You should be thankful your mum's about". Mothers and Mothers-in-law do have their drawbacks (even at 3,000 miles away, my mum is good at telling me where I go wrong), appreciate having them around. I wish my mother-in-law were still with us.

[deleted account]

Just let her know what you like and don't like. Stand your ground on things. Some mother in laws will try to push and try to be over top of you.

Michelle - posted on 05/27/2012




I've only met my MIL once so it's great. I love being on the other side of the world :-)

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