what age do you start using 'naughty step'?

Amanda - posted on 06/13/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )




My daughter is 14 months old, she's getting to know she's being naughty, because the minute you stand up to move her away/clean up something (usually her spit or milk from when she tries to 'draw' with it) she stands up and tries to hide the evidence straight away.

she'll quickly turn the dvd player off, or try to wipe whatever away. she doesn't listen to 'no' or respond to her name, so distracting her is hard to do. my mum just bought 2 new cushions a different colour and twice tonight when she was naughty i put a cushion in the corner and sat her on it.

of course she has no concept of time and didn't stay there for her minute, but she seemed to 'get' that she was in trouble.

what age did you put kids on 'the step' or in the corner? mand x


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Amanda - posted on 06/15/2009




i can't leave her in her bedroom, she pulls the wallpaper border off because it's funny to do! i don't think she gets that these things are naughty, but is staring to associate getting up with being told off. she really cries when told off. she bit my boob again tonight (i don't even breastfeed!) i think its down to teething because she bites anything she can, but sometimes it really really hurts and its hard to think it was an accident.

i just want to try to teach her it's wrong and when she does something wrong she'll get put on the cushion. when we move out i am planning on putting all the plates and breakable as well as cleaning stuff in the top cupboards and putting non breakables and food in the bottom ones to stop anything like that. she just doesn't get the concept of no. or don't touch. it's really exciting and fun to do these things, but mum obviously is a killjoy! she throws a freddie when pulled off anyone during biting and she gets shouted at 'no' then told it really hurts. i can't help but shout no because i'm a wimp and its either 'no!' or 'ow!' i tried signing 'pain' to her but she's not picking that one up (we go to a signing class for a bit of social time). just want to get something established so as she learns each thing is bad its there ready and it's not some new thing that is gonna cause more problems. i just think i'm gonna need it when the next one is born in october. mand x

Rachel - posted on 06/13/2009




As soon as they have a concept of naughty, use the corner (a step at this age is dangerous). you only have to turn your back on them for about 20 seconds and they will get the message, increasing the time gradually as they get older.

Always explain briefly to them why they are there before you take them out of the corner and say "say sorry to......." and take them to nanny/ grandad/ brother /sister etc. and say sorry to them as a 14 mnth old can't speak, but will learn that when they have been in the corner that there is a routine that has to be followed.

My auntie says there is little point to this as the child does not know the meaning, but how are they meant to learn otherwise?

I hope this helps

All the best


Rachel - posted on 06/13/2009




I started putting my son in time out at 13 mo.....Now he is 23 mo and all I have to do is mention time out and he behaves. She is testing her limits with you right now. Put her on a step get down to her level and tell her firmly but quickly (so she doesnt lose interest) what she did wrong....For 1 min (1 min for each year) then when tohe timer goes off, get back down to her level and tell her why she was in time out and give her a hug and kiss and she'll be on her way.....It really does work.
Good luck

Jessica - posted on 06/13/2009




If she's old enough to know she's naughty she's old enough to be put on time out. My son has been on the time out method probably since he was 12 months old if not before that. If she doesn't stay there put her back and her time starts all over again but do make sure you tell her why she's there and then make her apologize for whatever she did wrong. My son has learned to just sit there b/c he knows mom will just put him back til he does and he knows he needs to apologize for what he does. Now that he's 3 I ask him if he knows why I put him there and for the most part he will tell me "for not listening". At this age for him it's the not listening that he gets put in time out for the most and let me tell you he's improved a little bit.

Maya - posted on 06/13/2009




My son is 17 months and we started the time out corner at just around 12 months.

Julie - posted on 06/13/2009




I forgot to tell you what I do for spitting. I get a COLD wash rag about a degree above freezing, and wipe their face with it and say EEEWWW. They hate it and the cold startles them and suddenly spitting isn't so neat. You have to catch them while their doing it and it may take more than once so I always have a cold rag ready at the table.

Julie - posted on 06/13/2009




Do you have a crib for her? If so I suggest a time out in the crib for tantrums at that age. She is to young for a time out corner. Kids that age have to associate the consequence with the offence within 1 minute or they have forgotten what they did and won't know what they are being punished for. We have 4 kids and have never child proofed our house beyond chemicals and cleaning products. We often visit my mother in law who leaves her crystal out on the table and our kids have all learned not to touch by having their hand flicked. We tell them "don't touch" in a normal speaking tone and flick their hand as we say it. They usually looked shocked but normally don't cry. When they reach for it again they get the same response. After several times I get them intrested in something else.

As for the spit and spills we have our kids clean it up with us. If it really is an accidental spill than don't make a big deal out of it but if it's on purpose than say "All Done" and take it away and clean it up and don't give it back. I would be careful not to punish her for messes but teach her to tell you and help clean it up. Hiding things and covering it up opens the door to lying toddlers and then it's harder to correct.

Honestly it sound to me that like she hasn't associated her actions with any consequences. I don't think her behavior is out of the ordinary and she is just discovering so many cool things and their hard not to touch. If you make sure you have intresting things for her to explore she may be less likely to get into all the off limit items. We went to goodwill and bought an old computer keyboard to let our kids bang on and they left ours alone.

I have a drawer full of tupperware lids and spoons and old pots that are for the kids when I'm in the kitchen and they need to be with me they can play with their stuff and stay out of mine.

As for biting, it's not ok and you did the right thing to protect your boob and put it away. If you think she was throwing a fit for not getting it back I would tell her to stop crying or go to bed. It takes a few tantrums and a period of isolation after each one but I can tell my 18m old to stop or go to bed and he will usually stop. If not I enforce it. I do that with my emotional 3 year daughter old too. I think it works pretty well. As long as their crying on their beds they have to stay there. If they don't fall asleep (which they usually do) than I go in and get them whem they stop crying and calling for me. Then we have a little talk about why they went to bed.

Amanda - posted on 06/13/2009




i don't think smacking at 14months would really work, she's been hurt quite badly when she fed the hamster her finger, or when she fell down a few steps - luckily mummy caught her - but she still does or tries to do these things again, so pain isn't really getting through to her that it means no.

i've seen on supernanny an 18month old, we have another baby on the way, it would be good to have something at least nearly in place by then (4months).

we live in my parents house so not a lot can be done to childproof, when we all have so much stuff in such a small house (7 in 4 beds). she unplugs things, chew wires, presses buttons on every device we have - she phones people for hours ooohing and aahing... takes big bottles of pop out of cupboards, traps her fingers, puts lightbulbs in her mouth... you can't leave her for 2 secs, we have to take her to the bathroom with us, and she unwinds all the toilet paper and tries to keep flushing the toilet whilst you're still using it!

she is bad with her teething at the minute, but she bit my boob so hard it broke the skin thorugh a top and underwear, so she got sat on the floor - end of cuddle time, she screamed for nearly an hour. even when i picked her back up to comfort her, i didn't intend to distress her just make her know it is not ok to bite people. i ended up giving her to daddy because she wouldn't stop. she ended up crying herself to sleep. she has a tantrum if you say no, or take something off her or take her hand away from something.

any tips how to help stop this? she's not meant to be having terrible two's yet!

mand x

Sabrina - posted on 06/13/2009




I have a two year old and i started doing it aound 18 months. and she rted to get the hang of the fact that she was in trouble for what she did. and we would also talk to hear about it too. so she knew why she was there. but now if she gets up before the time we put her back and start the time over again. she does good with it and when she gets up i talk to hear about what she did wrong. sometimes i do it because she is starting to get a bad temper and throw a fit. so i put her there to cool down.

Kylie - posted on 06/13/2009




I think my daughter was around 3 when we started using time outs. up until then we would just redirect her attention to something else and look her in the eyes when we told her no so she knew it was directed at her. The naughtiest thing she did at 14 months was draw on my walls and furniture with permanent marker, (which as partially my fault for leaving her alone with my pencil case) i just drummed into her the phrase "we only draw on paper" and she didn't take long to get it. I think putting your 14 month old on a timeout cushion is fine if its working and make sure you explain why she cant do what shes doing and get down on her eye level so you know shes listening. I think that teaches her more and is more respectful than a smacking.

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