What all is involved in adopting a family member?

Tiffany - posted on 04/13/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

286

1

23

My cousin lives in indiana and i live in alabama. She is currently pregnant and don't want the baby. My husban and I want to adopt it. What all is involved in adopting a family member? Like is there court and what does it cost. I dont know anything regarding an adoption of family, help me please.. lol

10 Comments

View replies by

Tiffany - posted on 04/13/2010

286

1

23

oh yea i understand all that. When I hear a definate "Yes u can have my baby" I am going straight to my other cousin lol, who has been a lawyer for over 5 years and has never lost a case. So if that aint a good lawyer idk what is lol. I am also going to her to be my lawyer because she was also adopted into my family when she was born so she has lots of experiance in that feild.

Iridescent - posted on 04/13/2010

4,519

272

1080

This is a little more specific - you will need to look up their state specifically, but it also says you must make a diligent attempt to identify the biological father and have his approval to terminate rights prior to adoption. You aren't allowed to just do it without even trying.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

Iridescent - posted on 04/13/2010

4,519

272

1080

It's good that you've looked into it, but please ask a practicing child custody lawyer experienced in your state and her state before taking that as gold. The Supreme Court has and will continue to rule in favor of the father when there has been no attempt to identify and contact him.
http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/biolog...

Tiffany - posted on 04/13/2010

286

1

23

I actually have a friend who is studieing coustody laws and stuff like that, and he said that the law regarding the biological father, if he isnt in the childs life and dont make an attempt to be in the child life weather he knows or not, within the 1st 4 months of pregnancy or the first 4 months after birth he loses all parental rights.

Iridescent - posted on 04/13/2010

4,519

272

1080

Along the same lines as Sharon's, you'll want to find out the ramifications of not knowing who the biological father is. The father has the right to have the baby in the US if the mother doesn't want them, and when that option is never given, the father is considered to have parental rights indefinitely as far as I'm aware if he should show up, say, 6 years down the line, and want custody. It may simply be he hasn't been told or given the option.

Sharon - posted on 04/13/2010

11,585

12

1315

In the united states - depending on the type of adoption (I think) the biologic parents have up to 6 months after signing away their rights... to change their minds.



I'm not being mean or harsh, I have just seen to many people devastated by the slut family member who saw a chance to make a few dollars, or "found god" at the last minute and "POOF" went the baby.



You guys really sound like the saving grace for her child, I hope it all works out for you.

Tiffany - posted on 04/13/2010

286

1

23

I know she wont change her mind cuz she has already givin two of her kids to diff family members. She is only 19 and this is her 3rd child. She dont know who the father is and she is not a good person at all. And i wont let anything slack cuz of the family issue either because I have never met her. I just got a call from my grandmother today saying that she didnt want the baby and none of the family up north does either. They said that i was the only one in the family who was able to care for a child, and i was the only one in the family that anyone trusted with a child. My family up north arent very good people but all my family in alabama are the best people you will ever meet. But that just goes to show she dont need the baby cuz she has never met me and is willing to give me her child. But if I dont take the baby, it will go to foster care, and I cant let that happen. I have always felt that my pourpose in life was to adopt a child, and me and my husband was just talking about it a few weeks ago so i truly believe that this was meant to happen cuz me and my husband decided we were gonna adopt for our 3rd child around the time she found out she was preg. And i wont get my hopes up untill I have the baby in my arms in my home. I truly doubt she will change her mind though.

Sharon - posted on 04/13/2010

11,585

12

1315

There needs to be a lawyer involved.

Its called an open adoption because she is going to choose you as the parents. A court still has to approve the adoption but in general its just a formality. Unless one of you is a felon - I don't foresee an issue.

You need to talk to a lawyer. You need to brace yourself and plan for the cousin changing her mind. Draw up a contract that the she will have to pay back all legal fees & expenses incurred if she should change her mind. At least you'll be protected financially, if not emotionally.

DO NOT let anything slack because 'she's family." More families have been destroyed by crap like this. With legal & binding documents you can prove you were in the right at the least.

good luck and god bless you for doing this kind thing for her.

Iridescent - posted on 04/13/2010

4,519

272

1080

It can be extremely simple. Talk to social services. When I had my niece, I only needed a signed paper stating I had guardianship, physical custody, and rights to provide medical care. I wasn't adopting her so it was all that was necessary. In adoption cases, you can do virtually the same thing through social services, possibly for just court costs to terminate both other parental rights and have yours instated.

Kristin - posted on 04/13/2010

1,645

40

305

Get a call in to a family law attorney or legal aid, depending on your situation. The laws vary from state to state as do the costs. You can find some useful info on-line, but some can be very misleading and discouraging as well. Your local library will probably have quite a few books about adoption which might give you a good place to start. Hope this gives you a little bit of help. Good luck with the adoption process.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms