What do I do with this? Who do I tell?

Rebekah - posted on 09/11/2018 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is 12 years old and in 7th grade. A new girl joined his class this year (she is 13) and has been telling him that she has been experimenting with drugs and alcohol (vaping, huffing, unsure what else... and she claimed she has gotten drunk). She claims to go to adult parties and acts as a DJ for them. Today she told him she was pregnant! He doesn't know if he should believe her or not, but he is uncomfortable with what she is telling him and he doesn't know what to do with it. So he tells me--which I am grateful for--but now I don't know what to do with it!

I can handle the conversations with him just fine, but my question for you all is do I take this to one of the school officials out of concern for the girl's safety? The school is a small Christian school. Unfortunately we don't have a regular guidance counselor on staff, otherwise I might go to that person. I don't want to stir up trouble, or create tension for my son in passing along information he shared with me, but I feel a sense of duty to let adults in this girl's life know what is going on. If its true, she needs help. If she's telling stories, she needs a different kind of help. Because she's new, I don't know her or the family and can't really reach out to them directly. Suggestions?? Thanks in advance.

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Jewelmcbee - posted on 09/14/2018

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This is tricky! You don't want your son to lose your trust but this girl needs to be stopped. Maybe you could explain to your son if she is pregnant then she could be in trouble and if he doesn't want her to get hurt then y'all must go to the school district together. He can relay to the principle what was said to him and he will still trust you afterwards

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Rebekah - posted on 09/22/2018

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Thanks all for the suggestions. I appreciate the support! I did end up giving word to the school, and my son spoke to the lead teacher who will be working with the family and the girl to see what needs to happen. I think my son was able to see the real potential risk this girl was in, so he was fine with me talking with the school (I think he still trusts me!). I really have no control over his interactions with her... there is only one class per grade level, so they are in the same class. I will keep communication open with him to help him process things that he hears. Honestly, he wants to keep some distance from her because he is overwhelmed with what she is saying. Anyway, since talking to the school, I heard that there were more accounts of what this girl might be dealing with... sadly worse than what we've already heard. Still, I don't know what is true and what isn't, but in the very least, the adults around her are talking, and are getting higher officials involved to investigate to see what needs to happen to keep her safe. Thank you again. :)

Michelle - posted on 09/15/2018

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She could just be a great storyteller.
Your concern is your son so I suggest that you let him know that if he is worried about her then he needs to tell her that she should be discussing those things with her parents and not her schoolmates. He needs to let her know that he doesn't want to know about her stories. I highly doubt she DJ's at adult parties.
Maybe she thinks the stories are a great way to get the other children to like her. She's new to the school so she can make up all sorts of things.

Carla - posted on 09/12/2018

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Ask to have a conference with the school and the parents to address the issue..I pray and hope she not making this stuff up

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