what do you do when your child wants to pick out there own style and clothes?


Sylvia - posted on 01/30/2012




Um, let them do it, of course. You know, unless you *enjoy* spending hours of your life fighting with her/him about something that ultimately doesn't really matter.

My DD is 9 and a half, and I think the last time I actually picked out clothes for her without her input was about 8 years ago. She's come up with some hilarious outfits over the years ;).

This doesn't mean she gets to wear absolutely anything she wants. I still pay for her clothes, and I won't buy anything I consider inappropriate (so, no tube tops, no halter tops, no shorts where your bum-cheeks stick out at the bottom, no string bikinis, no crop tops). And there've been outfits I've sent her back to her room to change out of. Also, her school has a dress code -- no bare tummies are allowed, no spaghetti straps, and skirt hems have to be no more than IIRC 3" above the knee (which I think is already awfully short; DD has to wear leggings or bike shorts under her skirts if they're above the knee).

So there are some restrictions. But I'm certainly not about to tell her she can't wear the turquoise skirt with the orange t-shirt and the purple leggings, or whatever, just because I think it looks goofy. There's just no point.

Medic - posted on 01/30/2012




Let them. Why does it matter as long as they are dressed appropriately? My 2 and 5 year old both pick out their own clothes.

[deleted account]

At 5 years old one of my girls went to school wearing a purple sweatshirt, orange skorts, red tights, and brown shoes.... I love her fashion statements. lol

As long as it's age and weather appropriate (and doesn't violate any school dress codes).... it doesn't matter to me.

Kate CP - posted on 01/31/2012




If you're buying clothing that is appropriate for the kid then letting them pick out their own outfits won't be a problem. Will they always look matched and put together? Nope...but they're kids.

My daughter doesn't get a say as to what she wears to school, either, but that's because she has to wear a uniform. Play clothes and weekend outfits are free-reign for her, though. As long as she's dressed appropriately for the weather I don't care what she's wearing.

Sarah - posted on 01/30/2012




Let them. My son is 3 and he picks out his own clothes most of the time. I think encouraging independence is important.


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Sofia - posted on 01/31/2012




lol ok thanks moms all you guys are right well so far he picked out a red thomas the engine long sleeve shirt with black fleece pants he went to school pretty happy today. And there wasnt a battle. Thank goodness

Krista - posted on 01/31/2012




Just set limits for appropriateness, and then let them do their thing, I say.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/31/2012




Let them. There is no problem with this, and it can build self confidence doing such a big task on their own. It doesn't matter if it matches, or looks good. Independence is the more important thing to learn.

Stifler's - posted on 01/30/2012




let them pick their own clothes. i believe in promoting independence.

Kay - posted on 01/30/2012




I let him. He is only five, but will usually ask if what he picks matches. Mom defines weather appropriate--I say long or short sleeves, pants or shorts.

Sherri - posted on 01/30/2012




I guess it depends how old she is? Middle school and high school fine. Elementary school and younger they get no say in their school clothing but can have opinions about play wear.

Jane - posted on 01/30/2012




Go with it. As long as what they are wearing is appropriate to the weather and won't get them sent home from school, let them.

My daughter has had strong opinions on what she wants to wear ever since she was 6 months old. When she was three I taught her to read the word "sale," and at four the word "clearance," I gave her a budget, and let her choose. She has also developed a love of Goodwill.

Sit back and enjoy watching your child blossom. You will gain great insight into who they are by watching the choices they make. So what if the colors don't "match."

Serene - posted on 01/30/2012




My son already picks out his clothes and dresses himself. Their are some days that he does unmatch but i don't care because hes doing everything for himself, hes learning how to be responsible and self help skills. Most of the time he does a good job at it.

Amanda - posted on 01/30/2012




Let them within reason.

My 2 yr old picks her clothes out every day, I have no problem if what she picks out is appropriate for what we are doiing that day

Jodi - posted on 01/30/2012




I'm going with let them too. I couldn't even tell you what my 6 year old is wearing today, but she has been picking out her own clothes for years. I only ever intervene if it is an important or special occasion, or in situation where what she is choosing is entirely impractical (like the summer dress to wear out in the winter) and in those instances, it is quite simple for me to discuss it with her. I have always been able to explain to her WHY what she is wearing isn't appropriate, and I involved her in the choice (I don't dictate to her). Now she will look at something and say "well, that's just not practical today".

Oh, and our school has a uniform, so that's never an issue.

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