what happens next?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

hi everyone i was wondering if any one can help? i have been convinced for as long as i can remember that my son now almost 7 has adhd even when jason was a baby he has always been a handfull in nursery he was held back a year as we all felt he wasnt ready to start school. now he is in primary 2 at school and after regular contact with his class teacher it turns out that his teachers at school seem to also be concerned about his "mental age" and "lack of understanding" i also have two daughters aged almost 9 and 5, jason seems younger then his younger sister even though their is 2 years age difference. Jason is not scared of the dark but CANNOT sleep with his bedroom light off he has serve melt downs if his light is switched of so because of this his light stays on. loud noises does not bother him although he has melt downs if im listening to music in the house to loud. he has become obsessed with making paper air-planes will use any paper that is left laying around even small bus tickets. i have had to take all his books out of his room as he will sit with a book and rip page by page to make air planes until the book is finished. he gets very angry at times and at other times he is just so sweet and innercent their is no middle ground with him. he already receives speech and language therapy and has done for almost a year now this is when it first became apparent that he is infact "younger then he should be" the school are very concerned i have been called into school a few times now the last being yesterday as his teacher is concerned i mentioned to my health visitor before christmas the concerns i have my self and the concerns the school i have i was told that some of his traits sound like "autism" and to take Jason down to see her after christmas. after speaking with Jason teacher yesterday i phoned up the health visitor and made an appointment to take Jason down next week on the phone she asked if the school had sent him to see a School Psychologist which they haven't. i my self have no knowledge about autism apart from what u see in films and if u look at my son he doesn't look like he has autism i know their is many forms of autism so if anything Jason will be on the milder side, how will i find out if he has this is their set tests that are carried out i have never thought of Jason having autism always believed it was adhd my friends have mentioned before but ive just brushed it off but after the health visitor saying about his traits i have seen Jason in a different way and im now worried. what happens now and what does it mean for my beautiful wee boy i don't want him labelled all his life i just want the correct help for him


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[deleted account]

thanks amanda i took my son to the health visitor last week she has requested the school refer him to the school psychologist so its now a waiting game. i just feel so useless a mothers supposed to help her kids and make things easier for them but all i can do is sit and watch him it wouldnt be as bad if i could just cuddle him up n not let go but your lucky to even get a seconded cuddle his idea of a cuddle is a one arm tap on the shoulder lol x

Amanda - posted on 01/18/2012




Dont panic a lable does not change your sons life if you dont allow it too. I understand your fear of a lable, I also use to fear the school labeling my son because I didnt want my son having an "excuse" not to excell. Like your son my son also behaves younger then his age. He will be 13 this year and behaves like a 10-11 year old. He also use to have melt downs, but with the schools help, those are basiclly passed. The school insisted my son was ADHD, but I fought for years with my doctor against the schools unprofessional label. Once the school psychologist seen my son, we found out that my son had an extermly high IQ for his age, but had a rapid memory issue. No ADHD, no autism, even though many of his issues looked like those. Since his label, the school and I have taught him tricks to help him with his rapid memory issues, and his life has improved 10 fold. Labels are not evil as long as you dont allow them to be. They can help your son tons.

[deleted account]

thanks very much for all your comments i am glad that its not just me and my son going through this. Jason has an appointment with the health visitor tomorrow to discuss mines and the schools worries regarding him, i have put a list together with the stuff he does at home and the school are putting a list together with the stuff he does thats worrying to the school i am just so glad to have the help and the support from the school because although autism has been mentioned to me before i kind of feel that as the school agree that their is definitely a problem of some sort i do not feel that i am imagining it

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2012




Labels don't necessarily have to be a bad thing. They can be a requirement to get your child the help he needs so that he can not just survive, but thrive. Even before I read 1/2 your post, I was thinking it sounded a lot like autism. I would see your doc, get a referral to a psychiatrist and see what he/she thinks. If it is, take it from there, learn what resources are out there to help your child. (I know this is going to sound like a cliche') But, remember, we're all different, whether we're black, white, tall, short, thin, fat, autistic, or not autistic. It doesn't make us any more or less than anyone else, just different.

Firebird - posted on 01/14/2012




"i my self have no knowledge about autism apart from what u see in films and if u look at my son he doesn't look like he has autism"

Autism has no "look". You can never look at a child and see that they have Autism. There are no physical traits. Many of the behaviours your son is expressing do sound a lot like Autism. However there are a few things that have similar traits as Autism. Maybe you've left something out, but what you have described doesn't sound like ADHD to me.

My daughter is Autistic. She was nearly 5 when she got her dx and that word hasn't changed a thing about our lives. She was different from other kids before her diagnosis, she always needed help in certain areas and I always did whatever could be done to help her. That didn't change. All that changed was that after we got her dx a whole new world of therapies opened up to us, and it was easier to get funding for her interventions.

If you weren't afraid of him having ADHD, there's no reason to be afraid of him having Autism. He's not going to become a different person overnight because of it. However *if* it is Autism you're dealing with, you'll be able to learn more about the disorder, about why your son acts the way he does, and you can learn different methods of dealing with his behaviours.

If he is assessed for Autism, there will be a series of tests, mainly to check his development, and see if he has any sensory issues. There will also be some lovely paperwork for you to fill out. It is important for you to be as honest as you can be, so your son gets the proper diagnosis. The psychologist(s) will give you the results. I got my daughter's the same day as her assessment. Good luck, and if you have any questions feel free to send me a PM.

User - posted on 01/14/2012




My youngest step-daughter is 11 and was diagnoed with ADHD about three years ago. She has trouble staying focused and still and quiet but not any of the things you're describing as going on with your son so it sounds very possible that it could be something else. I would do whatever it takes to find out what it could be instead, whether it involves going to the school psychologist or some other kind of specialist outside the school. I don't know if you're open to the idea of medication either but it has helped my step-daughter out TONS. Once they figure out more of what it could possibly be, they would have a better idea of something to put him on. Good luck. I have a 2 year old son of my own and nobody wants to see their kids labelled but unfortunately sometimes in order to get the help they might need, they do need some kind of diagnosis or something that someone could see as a possible "label." I also work in two public school districts and they are great with handling this sort of thing.

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