What is a good age to begin Dating?

User - posted on 10/26/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




My twin sons' are only 13. In April, they will be 14. How young is too young to date? I believe, from my own upbringing, that 16 is the magic number. However, people say, "Oh it is different with boys!" How is it different? Really, how? Has dating become an age factor or a gender factor, including gay and lesbian people? I believe at 13-14, they are still learning about their bodies and "sex". Yup, I said it, SEX. So am I be old fashioned or naive because of the change in time and culture and society? I really appreciate and respect all responses. Thanks.


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Dove - posted on 10/26/2014




Well supervised group activities are good at 12-15 years old. I am not allowing one on one unsupervised dating until 16. My daughter is almost 13 and while she is VERY interested in boys... she is not interested in dating or having sex because she knows there are a lot more important things in life and there is plenty of time for dating in the future.

Chet - posted on 10/26/2014




At any age, there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to interact with the opposite sex. I don't think that parents should get hung up on labels, and should really focus in on what is reasonable for the age group.

There are kids who call each other boyfriend and girlfriend when there is nothing, or almost nothing, going on. Your boyfriend is just the only boy you talk to, or text with. You only see him at school or as part of a group of mutual friends.

Then there are other kids who will say that they aren't allowed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or go on actual dates, but they're sneaking around having promiscuous sex. I went to junior high with girls who weren't allowed to "date" but they had sex with a long list of guys long before they turned 16... although they were careful to never use the word boyfriend, and not to develop any kind of lasting, trusting relationship with any boy that could make it look like he was a boyfriend.

Kids who have strong relationships with their parents and with other caring adults, who have self confidence derived from positive sources, are surrounded by examples of healthy relationships, are educated about sex, etc, are not very likely to become sexually active at an early age. And when they do become sexually active they are more likely to be smart about it - to have sex in the context of a caring relationship, and to have safe sex.

Ev - posted on 10/26/2014




I agree with you on this. At the ages of 13 to 14 they are still learning a lot about themselves, what dating is, what a BF or GF is and what it means, and also about sex and what goes with it. I think group outings should be encouraged where adults are around so that kids can get to know the opposite gender better or what have you. Kids need limits these days and at 13 or 14 they do not understand the emotions that go with dating. Even some 16 year olds have problems with that too. I do know of a girl who was mature for her age at 13 but her dating age was 16. Her brother is now 17 but he has not had any real interest in dating or girls until now. And the age was the same for him as it was for her. I also say it depends on the parents and how they have raised their kids.

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