What is the best thing for me to do?

Kristy - posted on 01/06/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My mother inlaw never liked me since i married my husband because I had one child already and i never give her money all the time. I have 4 kids right now. When we visit his mom she would treat my oldest daughter different. She would act like my daughter never exists. When my oldest daughter was 2 years old she would tell people that it's not her grandchild even though no one ask about it. I never wanted my kids to go to her house anymore but my husband get's mad. When my father inlaw pass away from a car accident my mother inlaw had so much money but she waste it all at a casino. When she had the money she wanted to buy herself a brand new car, which she did but she didn't use her money on the car. She told my husband to finance the car under his name because she wanted to help build his credit. Then she wanted him to get her a house but his credit wasn't that great so she told him to ask me but i said no. She been paying for her car payment every month until when i bought myself a house for 3 months she stop paying for her car. I cover the payment for her for 3 months but she never gave me a penny. So we took the car away. I was in debt. When she wants money she would tell my husband that she wants $200.00 to send to his grandma or make up excuses. I'm pretty sure it's for her. She use to tell me that before my husband marry me, he would give her all his pay check money and just keep $10 or $20. I didn't let my husband do that because we have kids and bills. Right now me and my husband doesn't get a long because i never wanted my kids to go to his mom house. He's never home anymore but always at his mom house. I just wanted to take all my kids with me to a different state but i don't know what's the outcome. Everyone tells me to move far from his mom but i have a mortgage and the price of the house keeps dropping. My husband won't move. I try my best to stay with him for my kids but it's so hard. Please help me out.


Ariana - posted on 01/06/2013




Could you get into some sort of marriage councelling? If you can't afford it maybe you could look into programs around there and see if you can get assitance on it or find someone who's willing to do a 'sliding scale' type thing.

These are really issues you need to work out with your husband. Although you shouldn't have your kids over there all the time I can understand how your husband would want his mother to be able to see the kids, but it isn't fair that she treat your daughter differently than the others. Could you ask him to talk to her about this? Even if she truly feels this way he could ask her to not be so blatent about it, and since he treats your daughter like his so should she. Have you tried speaking to her at all, calmly, about this?

Could you agree to let the kids go over there for short peroids of time? So only go over for an hour and then leave so that no issues can arise.

I agree with you that you shouldn't give her money or sign for a house if this is an issue.

I don't know if moving is the right answer but you should try to see a marriage councellor before you do that. Divorce is really hard on kids, and like you said, it's a big challenge for you. A councellor could try to help you both figure out what's going on and how to work it out.

If he says he won't see a councellor tell him you're going with or without him and hire a babysit for the kids (or find someone to watch them) and then go, whether he's there or not. Tell him you're both having issues in this marriage and if he wants to be part of solving the issues he's going to go with you, otherwise you're going to have to figure out what to do on your own and he might not like what you ultimately decide.

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