
Victoria - posted on 12/15/2009 ( 46 moms have responded )
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Between me and my husband we have 4 children one of which is ours together, and now I am pregnant with # 5. My 4th and his 3rd. We are so excited! But when we break the news we automatically get judged or deemed crazy. My own best friend had some very negative things to say. We both have good jobs and yes we may struggle at times but our children will never do without. Granted we do not want to be like the Duggars but if we are conceiving from pure love then what's the problem? We both love children and aren't sure if this will be the last for us. We also love each other and have a great relationship . So tell me, struggle or not, what's wrong with having more than the average 2 or 3 kids?
Another thing, who really can "afford" another baby considering you never know what you might get into??? Unless, you are rich.
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Charlie - posted on 12/15/2009
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OooooOOOoooo congrats on your next little bubba .
I think if you can have a large family are financially , physically , and mentally able to provide all they need then go for it !!
BUT i am half islander and my islander side of the family have LARGE families , my mum being one of 14 i have cousins who are up to 9 kids , constantly asking for money they cannot afford the kids they have and yet they want MORE .
I dont agree with them having more i think in their particular circumstance its selfish , they would put their kids in even more poverty , while draining other family members who have their own kids to care for .
Julie - posted on 12/16/2009
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I come from a family of 11 kids and 2 parents (13). I have an older brother by 13 months, than me than a 5 year break. After the five years they are every other year apart. My oldest son is a month older than my youngest brother and my youngest son is 9 months older than my youngest sister. My kids are 19 months apart and I only have 2).My mom stayed home and my dad worked. We weren't rich or even middle class, but we had love. We grew up without TV or radio (by my parents choice) so we played and played hard. Now everyone has grown up and my parents, their kids and grand kids total up to about 94 people. But it is ok...if they didn't or couldn't put time into us - we did each other. As a matter of fact they had to chase us down to spend time with us. Will you struggle - yes. Is it worth it - yes. But one key note - there must be discipline. Without it, you will suffer and so will everyone else. I am sure it is against the law by now, but ignore that. Your parents are like they are because of it. We can not let a childless socialist tell us what our kids do or don't need. Good luck!
Chantelle - posted on 12/18/2009
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my sentiments exactly. we can never afford children. but this is your families choice, this is not china and there are no laws saying you should only have 2 children. who knows you may even have another child together. be proud and enjoy your family.
Jenn - posted on 12/16/2009
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I think that you should be able to have as many children as you want if you are taking care of your chidlren. Woman who are having baby after baby only to have them taken away may be an exception but it's your life and according to the Bible we should be fruitful and multiply :) I think the duggars are great. They may have a lot of children but they all seem to love and care about each other and they are providing for their own and pretty well too. I think the true testimony of a family is how they treat and feel for each other. You can have the typical 2.5 kids and yet not have a family. I have four of my own and have lost 3, due to the hardships in pregnancy I don't want to carry more but I would love to adopt and have a big family. Bottom line is there are always people who want to be negative and will find something to complain about. True friends support you, I think you need to find a new friend not a new outlook on the life that you and your husband want to build.
Lauri - posted on 12/16/2009
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My husband and have 8 children. The first 7 were within 12 years, #8 came 8 years later and has Downs Syndrome, a heart defect (which ahas been corrected) and hydrocephalus (also corrected). Although I have to admit some years are a blur, every one of those years was truly blessed by all the love that was shared. My children now range from 16 to 36 and we are definitely one big family. Only 3 are married at this point and we have 9 grandchildren, the oldest is 10, youngest (twins) at 10 months. My daughter with Downs has been helped enormously by all the other siblings, her cousins (all her age or younger) and nieces and nephews. I was lucky enought to be able to stay home for the first 15 years, but when the older kids hit high school (private and parochial) I needed to get back in the work force. When Heather came along, I still needed to work (now it was colleges). This was a great change for me. Luckily family once again was a blessing.
If you truly want a big family, and both my husband and I did, then you need to be able to work for it. I don't mean just have jobs for money, but be willing to put the blood, sweat and tears into it. Believe me there were lots of blood (broken bones, stitches, etc.) sweat and tears (both happy and not), People started questioning me after my third pregnancy about being pregnant AGAIN????. It took me until my seventh pregnancy to stop apologizing for having another child. I figured 'Hey I'm married and I can be pregnant if I want to.'
Good luck and enjoy!