What should a mom do of a stranger reprimands her child in public?

Mary - posted on 03/25/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )




I have a rowdy son who chatters and won't sit still. In shops he will pick things up and run through the aisles. Strangers usually frown but now I notice that white people in particular are reprimanding him more and more, eeven grabbing him and demanding to know where his mom or dad is. I get very upset and offended. What should I do?


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Kennishia - posted on 03/27/2014




Mary with all do respect this has nothing to do with 'white people' in particular as you stated, instead it has everything to do with your sons behavior as others have stated below. You should sit down with your son and lay out the expectations you should have for him as his mother- with respect to his behavior in malls/ stores and if he behaves this way in stores does he also act this way at home? If so his conduct needs to be addressed at home as well. Also, it's pointless getting upset at the strangers who reprimand your son because their actually doing you a favor since you should be corrected and disciplining him. Your not a bad mother you just need to set boundaries and give him strict consequences. Hope this helps all the best.

Ms Sue - posted on 03/27/2014




Hello. ....
I have just started as a member here, having just read this question. Every one is quite rightly so DISSAPLINE.
Many have given so many exact reasons of what I would call common sense reasons.
Many parents are also afraid to DISSAPLINE their children for the sake of judgement!
How everr......I am a mum of 3 girls. I have and will continue to chastise and dissapline all the nonmatter where and why. Neither have I had them behave badly outside.

Andrea - posted on 03/27/2014




You have to think about what kind of man, father, or husband you want him to be when he grows up. It all starts now. Discipline doesn't mean you don't love them.

Kristen - posted on 03/25/2014




When I was little, my mom took me in the restroom and spanked me when I misbehave then put me in the shopping cart. I knew better than to act up or run wild real soon after a few times of that! Some parents think it's not okay to spank or punish a child, but I think that if a child is doing wrong, then they need to be punished. That is what I do to my nephew and that is what i am going to do when my son is old enough. It's not okay for children to do wrong. And a small pop on the hand or bottom should teach them to behave.

Ev - posted on 03/25/2014




I have to agree with the ladies here because of several things:
1) The child is not being taught what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior.
2) Its a safety issue that is why there are things called shopping carts with a place for the child to sit if he is under five. If he is over five he should have long ago been taught to behave in a store.
3) Did you know that some stores or shops have a police of "You break, you buy" and you have to pay for damaged goods? I was taught that in a store I kept my hands to myself and I taught my kids the same thing. I have a grandchild who is almost 2 years old and she sits in the cart and does not touch a thing!
4) Allowing the child to run in a store does a couple of things too: a) safety of the child and others in the store is at risk when a child running all over can cause people to fall, get pushed into shelves, or the child getting hit by a cart because the person pushing said cart did not see the child coming; B) MAKES THE CHILD AN EASY TARGET OF KIDNAPPING BECAUSE NO PARENT IS WITH THE CHILD!
5) Children do not learn anything if the parents do not make them learn and model said behavior.

I do not like it when I see people's kids running all over a Supercenter without a parent behind them. I am not talking the tweens or teens but little ones under the age of three! Or I watch a parent walking ahead of said kid of said age and they do not pay attention to see if little one is still behind them and nearby. Its like they think the kid pays attention or something. I do not like it when I see kids of older ages playing tag in the store...what is with that and where is the parents at that moment? I do not like seeing kids of any age manhandling things that they do not need to touch. Its not bought for them; they need to leave it alone. I also do not like to see it when parents tell kids no repeatedly but do nothing with the yelling kid and then give in when the kid gets on nerves. Kids will never learn that they can not have what they want when they want it if parents give in. I do not like it when I hear kids demanding of the parents either.

That is a pet peeve of mine and I was not attacking you per say but just saying that kids now a days get away with everything and its because parents of all ages not just young ones do not stop to make the kids listen and learn what is right, wrong, accepted and not accecpted.

Jodi - posted on 03/25/2014




It sounds to me like you are just letting him do this. None of these behaviours are acceptable. Someone has to reprimand him. This kind of behaviour affects others, and could potentially affect other people's safety too.

Sarah - posted on 03/25/2014




Then you need to be disciplining more. A child should not be running through the aisles of a store and picking things up. That is part of teaching manners and appropriate behavior in a store. If others see you not reprimanding then they are going to step in. I always prefer that the parent is the one disciplining, but if the parent does not then it is great that another adult takes that action.

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