What should I do?

Holly - posted on 10/26/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have been married for 13 years, my hubby has put me and our kids throgh hell and back. I came to the piont in my life that I just can't do this anymore! I had talked to thim about his time and time again. He don't want me to leave,but don't think he is doing anything wrong. I'm a stay at home mom , everything is in his name, and i have nothing! I know now s not the time to leave because of the holidays. I just don't want to be here anylonger. Please where do I even start to go about this?


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JuLeah - posted on 10/26/2011




Have you seen this? http://www.turningpointservices.org/Dome...

Your children are learning what marriage is, how men are expected to treat women and children, and how they should expect to be treated by men.

Many women have left with nothing in their name.

Call a local womens shelter for ideas about what your next step might be and your legal resources/rights

Reach out to supportive neighbors, family, community - many will believe you even if you think they won't. When I finally told my mother I was leaving my marriage, she broke down and cried. She said, "Thank God, about time"

She knew, she had seen ... and she knew I had to be the one to take that first step

LaMonde - posted on 10/26/2011




First truth: You can only change your behavior. You cannot change your husband's. Second truth: As a Mom, we must protect our children at all times. This includes a toxic relationship or surroundings. Third truth: You need a clear head. Get to a professional counselor...psychiatrist, clergy, school counselor. Spend time working on you and your esteem first. You being well and having a clear mind will get you to making better decisions that are in the best interest for you, your children and your family. That is the first step in my opinion! Be Blessed my sister! God loves you and so do I.

Krista - posted on 10/26/2011




I'm so sorry that you're in that situation, and that your husband seems to feel that in a marriage, only ONE person needs to be happy.

Please know that if you do leave, you will be legally entitled to child support payments from him. It's not a ton, but it's more than nothing.

My advice would be to contact a woman's shelter. Even if that's not where you go (hopefully you have family or friends who you could stay with until you're on your feet?), they would still have a LOT of good resources and information for you as to different programs and resources for single mothers, continuing education, work-at-home options, etc.

Then, once you have your proverbial ducks in a row and you have a plan, I would give him one last chance to fix things, by going to him and saying, "I'm not happy in this marriage. I've told you this, and you don't respect me or our vows enough to actually work with me to fix things. So, you have two choices: you come with me to marriage counseling, as one last try to repair our marriage; or, I walk out of that door with the kids, and I never come back. Those are your choices."

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