What should i do????????

Bekka - posted on 12/18/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




the computer is in the family room and they are only allowed to access certain sites with our supervision and there are parental controls installed

i went in to check on my 11 year old at night and i found her with an electronic device with internet and she was looking at porn so i took away the device, her computer privileges and her door

i went through her room and saw porn magazines under her bed

i used someone elses account since my daughter blocked me in facebook and i saw posts from when she was in school (all public) and i ask her and she says she uses someone eles I phone at lunch and those kids get porn magazines through the trash and give it to her

complaining to the school repeatedly doesnt help

punishment doesnt work for her she was grounded over 5 times


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Dove - posted on 12/18/2012




Talk to her about sex and find out WHY she is so interested in porn. Let her know that porn is in no way a depiction of real life. Time for a full blown talk about sex, pregnancy, stds, EVERYTHING....

Open, honest communication will probably not solve the issue of defiance and disrespect she is showing you, but at least it's a start and will hopefully help prevent you from becoming a grandma in the next couple of years.

As for the defiance part... sorry, I have lots of issues w/ my kids, but when mom lays down the law.... they listen. Good luck!

Jill - posted on 12/18/2012




There is a series called Total Transformation by James Lehmer (I think). You might want to look into it. My son went through a rebellious phase when he was 12 and this series helped significantly. It is pretty hard core, but it gets the authority back where it belongs - with you. I don't want to sound like an infomercial but it turned his life around.

Erica - posted on 12/18/2012




Unfortunately, she has all the means and motivation to obtain porn and a Facebook account and will continue to do it. She will make poor choices just as we all have, but this is where we learn. As parents we need to give enough room to allow them to make a choice (good or otherwise) but to be there in case she needs you. We can never fully trust our child just the same as we can never fully trust ourselves or others given any situation however we do need to trust that we have learned from past mistakes Your daughter will not be able to learn from past mistakes if you do not let her make any, however you can always be there for her to help guide her. If porn is the worst thing she has done then I think you have the lucky stars - please take some time out for yourself to think this calmly through and give your daughter the opportunity to do the same, then see if you can't sit down and talk calmly about it - maybe a third party to act as a mediator? perhaps counseling, family therapy? Good luck with your choices and to your daughter as well. She is maturing and is learning how to become an adult, as we have all been through that stage I sincerely wish her the best of luck in finding herself and her way in this messed up world. If the person who is supposed to guide her is just scolding and dictating her or if she has no-one to support her it will only be that much harder.

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