what should I do about my childs non existant biological father who wants to step in after four years?

Sasha - posted on 11/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 4 year old's biological father has not been in contact with her since she was born. I have been with my current boyfriend for 3 years. My daughter knows my boyfriend as "her dad". The biological father wants our four year old to meet her 6 year old half brother and he wantes to start getting to know our 4 year old. How do I work this and how will this affect my daughter? I'm scared this will hurt her or confuse her. I can't think clearly on this situation. Ideas? Who has been through this?


Jodi - posted on 11/30/2012




Regardless of his absence in the past, I am a believer you should always leave the door open for a child to get to know both parents. You don't want to be the parent who denies your daughter HER rights to get to know her dad. Maybe her father just wasn't ready to be a father before. Maybe he was scared. Who knows his reasons for not being there in the past. But he obviously wants to be there for her future, so give it a chance.

Your daughter may be confused initially, but she will be fine. Children are very resilient. You should never hide who her real father is anyway. Believe me, it is better for her to learn to understand this now, than to find out when she is 11 or 12 that your boyfriend is not her father, but another man who you denied her the chance to get to know.


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Holly - posted on 11/30/2012




i would let him in her life, unless he has signed over all rights, you are legally obligated to do so. and if you haven't already, get a court order for him to see her, and pay you child support.

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