What to do about a father

Tori - posted on 12/27/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




the father of my baby is threatening to take full custody of our baby and not let me have them at all if we dont stay together im 16 and 13 weeks pregnant i would b fine with joint custody can he take my baby away from me? he didnt want it in the first place he still doesnt when we first found out he told me the only thing i can do is get an abortion and that if i didnt he would grow to hate me. plz help me


[deleted account]

I have read the posts here.. The best thing I can tell you Tori, is this.. Wether the guy is 19 or not.. He cannot take the child away from you.. He has to have a cause. And you have to be considered an unfit mother.. If you are watching other children, that will also help you. If you have the parents of the children you are watching. .they can back you up of you knowing how to take care of a child. If your father and grandmother is there to back you up.. then you should be fine.. But, like I had said, you have to be claimed as an unfit mom. If you get a job later on and have someone babysit your child to show effort of taking care of the baby.. that also will help you. The main things that the court looks at is whom is around the child more.. whom does the child spend more time with.. does the child have a parent taking care of them...If there is a history of abuse..or a history of drugs..If there is a history at all of drugs or abuse the child will not be staying with that parent.. But, since you are going to take care of your child and you are the one who will be with the child more than anyone.. you will keep your child.. You have to be claimed as an unfit mom and their has to be proof of that..
Besides.. when you have this baby.. if it were me... give the baby your last name.. You dont have to techinacally have to give your baby the father's last name.. He the father has to be tested ( maternity test to show if he is the father) before he can claim he is the father.


View replies by

Tori - posted on 12/27/2012




The father will be 19 and i will be 17 by the time the baby is born. Im getting maincare and im going in soon to get W.I.C. and try for food stamps I have no bad habits, I've been a babysitter for a 4 month old and a 2 year old I know how to care for a child and he has no experience at allhe never fed a baby or changed a diaper he's only even held a baby once. I live with my father and he lives with his mother. Ive tried calling my areas court house but they havent answered probably cuz of x mas. ive tried talking to girl that went through this and im waiting for a reply. im also going to a school for young mothers to get a diploma. and i was going to try to get my own place.

Ariana - posted on 12/27/2012




How old is the father? Are you living with him just the two of you? Do you have family you can live with?

You really need to speak to a lawyer about this type of situation.

Plus if you are not living with your parents or any other family members you don't just have to worry about HIM taking the baby away but also social services. You need a good plan that shows what a good mom you are.

So figure out where you are going to live, how are you planning on supporting this child? Can you take parenting classes in the area or get resources for this? What do you plan to do with your future, do you plan on getting an education high school/GED/college?

Not to be offensive but do you have any bad habits or negative behaviors that could potentionally allow him or anyone else to take the child? If not then awesome that's great for you but if so you need to go get help for this.

If you have a plan on how you are going to support this child and what you're doing with your life, as well as no negative behaviors that could potentionally effect your child (drug problems or something) then it's unlikely he would be able to get full custody of the child. I would speak to a lawyer about it though.

You might try to get some councelling or couples councelling to deal with the father of your baby, someone who can help you get out of this relationship or mediate through this. If you don't have the money there are usually many resources available that could help you get help from someone.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms