what to do about throwing things

Rosanna - posted on 02/28/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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my toddler has a tendency to throw his toys. i used to just tell him that i don't like the way he plays and then go to the next room. he use to stop and then join me, but now that he's getting older, i don't think this techniques is very effective. any advice on how should i respond or say the next time he throws his toys?

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Stacy - posted on 02/28/2009

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The only thing I can suggest on this one is to praise HIGHLY when he is careful and gentle. Get him some balls and encourage "throwing time" when actually playing with the balls, I hope that makes sense. I raised two boys who did the same thing and they both calmed it down when we made "time" for it and made it an actual activity. I do strongly advise the praise when being gentle and careful, that helps also :)

Anna - posted on 02/28/2009

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Ditto, when my 2 1/2 yrs old throws his toys, I give him 1 warning. I then take it away and it get placed on top of our fireplace where he can see it, but not reach it. He always throws a tantrum. When he is done crying, I get down on his level and tell him we don't throw toys, we treat our things with respect. If he says he is sorry, he gets the toy back. If not it stays there until the next morning where we start fresh. However, if its a really bad day and he continues to throw toys, they get taken and he has to sit on the stairs for 2 minutes, 1 minute per year of age. Then we explain to him why he was on the stairs, etc. Time outs work really well for us. Good luck and....duck!

Megan - posted on 02/28/2009

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You could also try behavior satiation. For example, get a nerf basket ball hoop for the house. The next time your todler throws something say, "we don't throw toys, we throw balls"  Then have him/her keep throwing the nerf ball at the hoop until he/she is extreemly tired of throwing the ball. If you do this every time they get sick of throwing really fast. We did this with my daughter who was spitting. Every time she spit, I told her that we spit out tooth paste when we are brushing our teeth & had her go into the bathroom & rinse her mouth with water then spit it out. It worked great.  She learned how to swish & spit after brushing her teeth & got tired of going into the bathroom everytime she had the behavior.   

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Take the toys away and like it is no big deal. He just has to vent and needs attention and that is his way of getting it, he needs to learn to talk about it and not throw stuff

Holly - posted on 02/28/2009

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If my children throw their toys i take them away. This works well. And if they throw a tantrum when i take the toys i just ignore it and it stops. Sometimes it takes longer than other times.. but if they don't get the attention they are looking for (you getting upset) they stop. Good luck :)

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Rosanna - posted on 03/02/2009

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oh yes! and so obvious. i usually ask him to respect living things (plants, pets) as well as other people's things, but yes, he needs to have respect for his things as well. thank you for pointing this out!

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I always tell my son that his toy have to be treated with repect and if he mistreats them he cannot have them.  He throws a toy and I put it away.  He will stop very quickly.  It is negative attention seeking behavior.  Don't react other than to say we don't treat our toys that way and take it away.

Rosanna - posted on 03/02/2009

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what an awesome circle of moms. thanks so much for your advice. all very similar, but yet different. it's great to get different angles as each child is so different, you really have to figure out what works best with his/her temperament.

i especially appreciate the praising advice. i do praise, but perhaps not enough. i will make a conscious effort to do so more often. i also like the "throwing time" with the balls.

thanks again everyone!

Amanda - posted on 02/28/2009

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I do the same thing with my 2 y/o. The first time he throws a toy I warn him if he does it again it will get taken.....very rarely do I have to actually take the toy. The whole point is to be consistent with the threats so they know you are serious. Good Luck!! :)

Gerri - posted on 02/28/2009

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I have always been a toy taker.  If they do not treat it well, they cannot have it.  Put the toy where they can see it and keep piling them up.  Even if it all his toys!  Be consistent, he will catch on.  I have had to throw some items in the trash (I give them away to charity, but they think they are trashed).  This will work.

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How about taking the toys. not some of them but all of them. and if he or she throws something again. spanking or the corner will work great. but you have to be the one who sticks to it. dont start one day and then stop the same day. there will be crying but the throwing will stop.

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