What to do when your child misses a deadbeat dad?

Angel - posted on 09/21/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a 24 yr old mother of a 2 yr old boy and am currently 3 months pregnant with my second child. Their father and I was in a off and on relationship for 4 years and recently broke up for good when the news of the 2nd pregnancy came. Now we have both left our apt and my 2 yr old misses his dad sooo much I dont know what to do. Now when I contact his dad for my son to see him he makes promises to come and get him but when the day comes he wants me to be there with them during the visit. I am completely over trying to be with him, to many lies, games and exes involved, but he still tells me he loves me and we should start over and the rest of the bulls**t... And when he says things like that I don't want to be around him or even let my child be around him just because he seems psychotic. He did everything in the book to push me away, from leaving me to take care of our 2 yr old when I was sick, leaving me in the ER and sneaking out of the house at 2am... Now that we aren't together I don't want anything to do with him because of those issues, and also because he won't even acknowledge my pregnancy. I know my child deserves 2 parents so I have tried to make arrangements for him to have his son ( 1 child out of 5 previous) but he doesn't follow thru. Now when my son sees any black man, he calls for his daddy and I don't know what to say to comfort him. I can't say, daddy doesnt want to see you, or your daddy is in the sky so my question is...... What should I do when my 2 yr old cries for his dad? I cant stand to see his heart broken over and over again. Should I continue trying when this man clearly is trying to get to me thru our son

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Angel - posted on 09/21/2012

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Setting boundaries is my number one issue right now, the more boundaries I set, the more he goes the other direction with saying " I love you, we should be together, your my number one " and such, and when I don't respond to those advances, its well f**k it, and f**k you b**ch! And I'm left stunned like, how can you have so many children with just this one child less than a mile away from you and you don't want to see his smile, hear his laugh or play with him. Of course I am very hormonal right now so when I hear this disrespect I automatically say, f ' it well I tried....



I have set up child support, and he has also quit his job because of the monthly obligation and feel that if he wants his child, he must set up visitation himself to prove that he wants to spend quality time with my child. I would love for him to have him 50/50 but if he's not going to provide and be a part of our sons life I'm honestly thinking about leaving the state entirely.



The child I am pregnant with now, will be his 6th child. Of all of the born children he has none of them are remaining in this state basically because the mothers did not want to go through this same obstacle.

I want to have a working relationship with this man for my sons sake especially, because I did not have my dad consistently in my life. But I honestly don't feel lhe could teach him how to be a honorable God fearing man. Idk. I definitely do not want my son to resent me but how much disrespect is enough? This man hasn't seen my son in 2 months and he's less than a mile a way. I don't feel like I should have to go out of my way for my son to have a relationship with someone who isn't gonna provide and maintain a relationship with him, father or not.

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