What to do with my 17 year old stepson wetting his pants

Cassandra - posted on 01/21/2018 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. When I first moved in his son had a hard time waking up and going to the bathroom. Before it was just when he was a sleep and now it is seems like he does it while he is awake. He is mostly doing this while he is on the computer gaming. He does have ADHD. I understand the bedwetting part, I just don't get why he is all of a sudden doing it while he is awake. I really need some ideas of how to bring up solutions with my boyfriend and then telling his son what the plan is. I know this may sound selfish, but we are moving within a month and I am just worried about him ruining carpet and furniture by doing this. I also don't want to hurt any feelings. I also don't want to step on any toes either. I am only 10 years older than my boyfriend's son, so it makes me feel like I really have no authority. What do I do? I am not looking for bashing, I am just looking for solution to my issue. My issue isn't that he wets the bed, but there has to be a way to protect what is ours from getting ruined.

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Sarah - posted on 01/22/2018

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At 17, he is a fully developed male, at least physically. I'd get a consult with a urologist as wetting himself at this age is not normal at all.

Alexandra - posted on 01/24/2018

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Sorry to hear about the issue at hand. He is pretty old for that to be happening, I don't think ADHD has anything to do with it at that age. Is your bf's son bothered by it? Does it happen at school or just home? I think he needs to see a doctor about this. Maybe telling your bf to introduce the idea of "grown up diapers" if it's something he can't control. But honestly it could be an underlying symptom of something else so best to get it checked.

And in response to Ev Witt, being married to someone doesn't give the stepparent any "legal" powers over the child. So it's more based on what your relationship is to your bf and the boy.

Michelle - posted on 01/22/2018

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So what is his Father doing about it?
He could be too engrossed in his games and needs reminding to get up and go. I would suggest that a timer be set and that would be for him to take a break and go to the toilet. I used to have to do that with my boys when they were little as they didn't want to leave their game.
I would be leaving it up to Dad though.

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Cassandra - posted on 01/31/2018

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I did read your response. I answered the question in my last post. I get that it is his father's job, but if he doesn't do something then something is going to have to change. Either his son can't come over and he will have to go somewhere else to see his son. I can't handle having to clean up the mess... I have too much on my plate as it is with work and my own children. I know he helps me with my children, I just think that his child is old enough to where something like this should never be an issue.

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2018

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So did you read my response about him needing to get told to get up regularly to go to the toilet?
I wouldn't bring it up with his Mother, that's his Father's job. You really need to get your boyfriend to address the issue. You haven't mentioned at all what he says about it.

Cassandra - posted on 01/28/2018

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Really my boyfriend does nothing about it. I think he feels guilty about how his son's life has turned out. Like it is his fault. I guess he doesn't get treated to well at his mom's. I know he at least has the issue when he is sleeping, but I haven't heard anything about him doing it while he is awake at her house. I also haven't heard anything about him doing it at school. My boyfriend's mom thinks I should make his son do this and do that... but I really feel like it isn't my place. I feel like I need to tell my boyfriend to deal with it. My boyfriend's son is only at our house on the weekends, but with in that little time he has completely stunk up my basement (his bedroom is down there). I am just at a loss for what to do. I have thought about talking to the mother and see how she handles it at her house. I have thought about the diaper idea, I also thought about taking his computer and hiding it on him. When I said something to my boyfriend about hiding the computer, he didn't seem to like the idea. He even asked "Why I would do it?" I don't want our house to smell of urine. I hate the smell, and I don't tolerate that behavior from my 8 and 6 year old, and I don't think my boyfriend would either. So I don't understand why he does with his own. I will mention the idea of seeing the urologist though. We have to do something, I can't stand by watch him destroy brand new carpeting.

Andrew - posted on 01/24/2018

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Dose he wet his pants because he has a weak ureatha muscel? There are exercises for such a problem

Ev - posted on 01/22/2018

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I agree with Sarah and Michelle. Also the part about you not having any authority is correct. You are a girlfriend not married to dad and the step mom. Legally, you do not get to come up with a plan and implement it. That is for dad and mom to do. You can help support the plans that go in place and encourage the young man.

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