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What was the hardest parenting thing thats ever happened to you?

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010 ( 37 moms have responded )

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Just curious. Mine was when my son was 3-4 and he got an infection on his privates and I had to help hold him down while the doc squeezed the pus out, it hurt him so bad and i cried cause it was awful to see him like that.

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Jessi - posted on 01/17/2010

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i thought ive had a few hard times, but nothing compared to some of you moms whove posted above. as i finished reading this thread i had tears streaming down my face. it sounds like youve all done amazingly in crisis situations, and i wish you all the very best with your children. so far ive been so blessed to have very healthy girls. my biggest fear (as im sure any moms is) is to have something happen to one of my babies. just wanted to say wow, cannot believe what some of you and your families have lived through. i guess thats why they say you need to be strong to be a mother!

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." -- A Jewish Proverb

Iysha - posted on 01/17/2010

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My daughter not coming home from the hospital with me. I was in a state of almost constant depression when I was at home. I spent 10 hours with her every day in the NICU until she came home. I would cry every day while getting ready to go there and getting ready to leave her there and on the drive there and back. I would get so frustrated when she would take a bottle and then not eat the next feeding and have to be tube fed....I felt like she was never going to come home. My Fiance threw around the term Post Pardom Depression a few times and it made me want to kill him...My baby was not with me, she was hooked up to moniters and was having other people take care of her, how could I be happy? That was the hardest thing EVER...not just with being a parent.

Debbie - posted on 01/17/2010

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My kids are older now & the hardest thing you will ever do as a parent is stand by and allow them to fail because without failure they will never know what success is !!

Rebecca - posted on 01/16/2010

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It would have to be anytime when my son was hurt and in the hospital, which being a boy was alot. He was afraid to go to the doctors office for awhile because he was at the hospital so much for awhile. When he was born, at full term, he had an infection the doctors couldn't identify, they just knew his white blood count was three times the normal level. So he he had to stay in the hospital for five days. I know this isn't long, considering premies can stay in the hospital for months, but to me five days felt like an eternity. When he was between 2 and 3 he got three different sets of stitches throughout the year and taking him to the ER to get the stitches put in and removed was horrible. Holding him down and pinning him so he wouldn't move while he screamed "Mommy" over and over again with tears running down his face was hard. It was also hard when he was hospitalized with pneumonia for a couple days. Knowing there was nothing I could do, I felt helpless. Another time would be right after he was five he would occasionally complain of stomach pains. One night he ran a fever of 104 degrees after complaining of stomach pains for two days.I was panicking but Tylenol brought the fever down. The next day he could barely walk, walked like an old man who just got off a horse. I ran him to the ER and after testing found out his appendix was inflamed. He had surgery early the next morning to remove his appendix. That was probably the scariest time. The doctors said he is the youngest case of appendicitis they had ever had, usually it doesn't come on till the teens. Thankfully since then he has been a healthy boy and no health problems what so ever.

Andrea - posted on 01/15/2010

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I had to watch my preemie twin boys fight for their lives in their incubators as they were born 9 weeks early. The hardest thing I ever had to do was bury one of my boys. He died at 2 days old. I then spent the next 5 weeks trying to get my other boy well enough to come home while he was being fed through a tube and having painful tests all the while being terrified he was going to die too.

Candice - posted on 01/15/2010

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my son was only a few months old and was experiencing pain and vomiting , so we took him to emerge to get checked out... the doc said he wanted blood and urine ran so they put one of those bag things in his diaper for him to pee in and then began to take blood.. well they couldnt get blood out of the one arm after 4-5 trys so they switched to the other.. and finally got some blood.. plus they had to take some out of his feet too .... well then once he had already peed in the bag , the doc decided no he wanted a catheder// so they put it in got wat they needed and then.....GOT IT STUCK ! one nurse got another who then went and got ANOTHER nurse who finally managed to get it out... needless to say tyson was screaming these horrible painful crys by then... so we waited and waited and waited.. and then the nurse came back in and said that she was sorry but they needed to take MORE blood because she got a result back and was unsure it was right.. well it turns out it was a mistake and in the end they decided it was just bad cramping from the formula.. needless to say i try not to take him in there unless its a huge emergency now. ( i would have just taken him to the doc but it was late at night)

Sabrina - posted on 01/15/2010

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1 surgery at 3 months to prevent blindness from a tumor, 2 laser treatments to kill tumor regrowth, an EEG for concern about a seizure, oh..a potential seizure that put us in the ER at 4AM, and an upcoming MRI for possible hydrocephalys. Surgery was the most difficult....

Rhoda - posted on 01/15/2010

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Mine was when my youngest was born 12 weeks early, and I had to see him in that incubator, and couldn't hold him for days, and watch his tiny chest heave trying to breathe, and was scared he was going to die...plus think about the kids at home missing me...I have never cried so much in my life. A close second? When my second was a few days old, and began having episodes of apnea...she would stop breathing and turn greenish around her mouth. I raced her to the doctor, and he called an ambulance. It turned out she had a respiratory infection, but was it ever scary! More recently, separating from their dad and raising them by myself...

[deleted account]

Watching my husband and daughter getting hit by a drunk driver. He was holding her when he was hit from behind. He dropped her and she fell head first in the street. I was in such shock that I picked her up and crawled to my husband (who I thought was dead).



Hardest thing... having someone take my daughter out of my arms knowing she was in pain and scared to death (from me screaming). I didn't get to hold my daughter for about 15-20 minutes. I finally got her back when they were ready to transport her to Children's Hospital.



My guilt to this day still... fearing for my daughter more then my husband (who was in critical condition). She was just about 16-months old at the time. Both are fine and are doing very well. She is 18-months now. = )

Rosie - posted on 01/15/2010

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i was a single mother when i was 21, and my son started throwing up alot. at his 6 month appointment, the dr hospitalized him for failure to thrive. he spent 1 1/2 weeks there that time ( he was hospitalized 2 more times). at the hospital they had to run test after test trying to figure out why he was throwing up, and why he was not growing. his IV was in his head cause his little veins in his hands and arms couldn't handle the other iv attempts. the night he was released he got a fever of 105 and i took him to a different hospital. they kept him for 2 weeks. now mind u-i was single, i HAD to work. i lined up somebody i knew everyday to stay with him while i was gone at work, and as soon as i was done i'd go right back to the hospital, which was an hour away. they put cameras down his throat, took blood all the time and still couldn't figure it out. when he was 15 months he was hospitalized again and they were still unable to figure anything out. his ped. told me to take him to a specialty clinic at the hospital and there we found out he had diabetes inspidus. a condition where his kidneys don't function properly and they let out all of his water when he urinates, so he has to drink, drink drink to replenish what he pees out). water was a big no no before because it doesn't have calories and they want kids with failure to thrive to have as many calories as possible. one dr. suggested giving him water and the throwing up finally was under control!!! i still struggle with his condition, i fact all three of my boys have this condition, but my first was the guinea pig. they all feel the need to drink massive amounts of water and will sometimes throw up if they drink too much water so i have to watch their intake very closely, and they all pee like madmen. i swear i should buy stock i diapers, and laundry soap!!lol! all this and i'm glad they finally figured things out so my other boys didn't have to go through what my oldest one had to.

Yvonne - posted on 01/15/2010

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I have a very hard time when any of my kids are sick or hurt. But the hardest time I had was when I let a friend live with me and she agreed to help watch my kids while I worked and I came home one day after a double shift to find that my 9 month old had a spiral fracture of her femur. She was in a spika cast for 6 weeks, she was still happy but I had so much anger and hurt built up, I think it hurt me more than her.

Julie - posted on 01/14/2010

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Hmm, that's a toughy. Was it when my 3 year old was gray and was transported by ambulance to spend a week in the hospital with viral pneumonia which just had to run it's course, was it when I got a call from the school saying my 8 year old received an In School Suspension for taking a boy's shoe and refusing to give it back until he pulled his pants down, was it when I got a call from the neighbor who lives behind me to tell me that my 12 year old was kissing a boy on the street corner that she'd only known a day and didn't even know his last name when she was supposed to be at a sleepover or was it when my other teenage daughter busted her screen out of her window to sneak out and go see a boy in the middle of the night that she'd only been seeing for a week? As scary as the illness was and exhausting waking up every few minutes when the alarms went off to signal my daughter wasn't getting enough oxygen, I think I'd rather deal with those kinds of things than the stress of worrying if your teenagers are making the right decisions and if their sneaking out is going to lead to a teenage pregnancy.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2010

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When my son was born i didn't get to see him for 2 days, they took him away cuz he wouldn't breath on his own, and no body could hold him cause he would panic and stop breathing all i could see was pics of him.

Angie - posted on 01/14/2010

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My son cut his index finger off to the first joint and I sat with him in the ER while the parts they could stitch back on were put back on. My oldest daughter was born with a hole in her heart. It was a shock and a lot of worry for 2 years while we waited for the hole to resolve itself. But what is the very hardest for me is to realize that my almost 17 year old will be leaving to college in 18 months.

Ginger - posted on 01/14/2010

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I actually have two.....one was when we thought our daughter swallowed some pills and at the hospital they had to strap her to a papoose board to insert a tube for the charcoal......thankfully, she didn't take any pills, but that was a hard thing to endure. The other was when we took our son to get on a van headed for boot camp.....but we're very proud of our now inactive Marine. He served his 4 years proudly!

Barbara - posted on 01/14/2010

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When my husband called me as I'd just arrived at a part-time job, tells me "uh, Kimberly is miscarrying, you need to come home!" Well, I have a Jeep Cherokee and the speedometer only goes to 80, I couldn't TELL you how fast I drove on the highway that 12 miles home! God only knows I'd have probably been escorted if cops had stopped me! Then I ride with her in the ambulance and we thought we were going to lose her and the twins! TOO scary! But now we have our little miracle Jon after and between 5 miscarriages! He IS our little blessing!

Julia - posted on 01/14/2010

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The hardest thing for me and it will be for the rest of her life is having to leave. When she was 18 months old I left for Iraq. When she was 25 months old I left again to go back to Iraq. Then when my new husband and I left Hawaii for our new home in SC, I was supposed to have her from June to Dec. Well my ex found out that he was going to be deploying soon and made the decision to send her to him and not see her for 4 months! Her coming home was one of the happiest days of my life.

Stephanie - posted on 01/14/2010

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Watching them take my eldest away for surgery when she was only 2 and the longest time waiting for her to come out and them say everything went fine.....Standing outside the door listening to my youngest scream for me as my hubby and 4 nurses held her down to insert a tube thru her nose and an iv into her. They asked me to wait outside if I thought I couldn't handle it, good thing I did, lol.

User - posted on 01/04/2010

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My hardest parenting thing so far was def. struggling with post-partum after my son (turning 5 this month) was born, nothing can compare to seeing your child for the first time and saying ".....oh" and then turning your head away. It took six months of botteling it up, and 6 months of counseling to truely feel happy. To this day, his birthday is still hard for me, the guilt, and the feeling that I lost 6 months of his life (before counseling I don't remember much, I just kinda blocked it out) so he turns 5 in Jan. but for me it's not real until July. I am blessed with a wonderful fam. and support system. And thank God every day I never brought harm to my child. But the guilt of hating your baby stays with you and I don't think the scares on my heart will ever truely heal.

Margaret - posted on 01/04/2010

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hardest thing was not the learning disabilities per se but the teasing he'd get from other kids as well as his rages he'd have.He is on meds and is a fairly functional adult now-Thank God!I f you have a child with needs or learning differences get help!I have also learned to appreciate the wonderful details of and about him and life-he loves weather!So I have learned alot as well

Andrea - posted on 01/04/2010

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When my son was born at 37weeks and couldn't keep any thing down at all, till they let me try and breastfeed him and it took..

Then when my daughter was born at 36 weeks at 3lbs 8oz and 16 1/4in long with Gastroschisis (insides outside her belly) didn't get to see her till she was 2 hours old, she was on a vent for 11days had surgery at 8 days got to hold her at 9 days(only on a pillow), now we just have to watch for thing telling us things aren't work "normal" We spent 6 weeks in the NICU... I feel for any mom who has or will ever have to face any problems of any kind..

Crystal - posted on 01/04/2010

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yeah she is smart and very very brave. Sometimes too brave and that scares me alittle.

Erin - posted on 01/04/2010

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i think the most difficult thing i have had to deal with as a parent would be trying to explain to a 5 year old and a 2 year old what happened to thier uncles fingers, one day he vists and he as them, the next time he visits he doesn't. he lost them to frost bite. the 2 year old, now 3, is worried her fingers are going to fall off unless she wears lots of mittens, even just to walk to a warm car. but one of the hardest parts was to see how scared they where the first time they saw him, and how upset it made my brother. he lives about 5 hours away so they have only seen him a couple of times, and the last time was much better then the 1st, so i am hopeful they will regain the same relationship they had before the accident

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Lori :

Making the decision that my husband's (soon-to-be-ex) anger was out of control. It was a very fine line since nothing overt had happened yet. After I asked him to leave and work through this in counseling, he physically abused one of our sons in front of the others. I then went through legal channels to protect my sons and put him in a "parenting timeout" for a year. He is now back in their lives, with protections in place for them, and working through his anger issues. At the time, my sons were 15, 11, 11, and 8.


Wow that is very hard thing to do, but its a great choice and I'm sure your sons will grow up great with a mom like you. :)

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Crystal:

My five year old daughter was 13 1/2 months when she started walking and four days after she turned 14 months she tried to run and fell down. She cracked her forehead open and had to get stitches. And when she was two she had to have an egk done because the doctor thought she was having abisence siezures, but turned out she wasn't. She then ended up having the thing under her tongue clipped to help her with her speech when she was 41/2.


Wow that sounds like a lot for a little girl to take. I bet she will be very smart and strong. :)

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Sharon:

hardest thing?

1. when my first son was born, he had fluid in his lungs and was admitted to NICU. He wasn't allowed to eat for 3(?) days and his crying with hunger felt like pains through my chest.

2. My younger son was 6 months old when he was diagnosed with pneumonia after we all had recovered from the flu. Not only was he desperately ill from the flu. But he was weak from the constant puking, and the pneumonia really took a toll on him. Forcing the medicines down his throat, forcing the breathing treatments on him... SUCKED ASS.

3. My daughter had said she wasn't feeling great earlier. I thought it was a headache from hunger, fed her and headed for home, 200 miles away. We were on the highway and she was asleep. She woke up and began SCREAMING & screaming & screaming, saying her head hurt, her head hurt over and over. I'm doing 75mph and trying to look over my shoulder at her and direct my oldest on how to help her and trying to remember where the nearest hospital was. I flew down the offramp at 95mph. She threw up and instantly went silent. She wouldn't respond or talk to anyone, occasionally she would moan while I scanned street signs for a hospital sign. I knew this town and i knew the hospital was just a street or two away from the offramp.

We were there for hours. They ran every test, spinal tap, catscan, blood work, urine tests... I was asked question after question. she didn't move when they stuck her with a needle to take blood. She barely cried or moved for the spinal tap...

they told me she had an ear infection.

She NEVER once complained of her ear hurting. She was 6 yrs old and perfectly capable of differentiating between a headache and an ear ache. Her ears weren't red until the 3rd or 4th time they had a look. her pediatrican didn't believe it but she was better so we just put the diagnosis off and kept an eye on her. We now think it was a migraine brought on by dehydration.


That sounds awful! I'm so sorry for all of you, my son is 6 too and I'm sure she had no trouble explaining what was wrong to you. Doctors are supposed to be so smart but I think they just give you any answer they can think of. Good luck, hope all is well. :)

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Michelle:

My 7 month old going in for surgery and then having complications and being rushed back into surgery 5 days later.


Omg that would be so scary, I hope everything turned out good and wish you the best of luck. :)

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Rebecca:

My daughter stopped breathing at age 3 weeks when i placed her in her crib to go throw a load of laundry in. Her head was to the side and her pacifier was in her mouth. she was a side sleeper but she flipped right over and her lungs could'nt handle her little body,not even 7lbs. I worry to this day about her now that she is amost 6 months and rolling on her tummy to sleep. I am so lucky she came back to us♥
My son is 2yrs and a few month ago was acting funny so we took him to the er and the dr said it was a cold...went back 2 days later and demanded an x-ray and he had pnemonia so bad his whole scan was white. He also had H1N1. We were lucky to catch it when we did and we were in line 2 weeks later when clinics opened for our shots.


It sounds like you had your fair share of horrible stuff. Hope thats all you get. :)

Kat - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Sondra:

So far, it's been the different parenting styles that my husband and I seem to have. At first I thought we would be on the same page about everything. As it turns out there are a few key things that we have opposite stances on, such as santa, corporal punishment, and how often a baby should be held even. It's hard because we both want best for our son but I can't help but feel that what I want for him is the better way to go. We are still working on the kinks of course. Our son is only 6 months and we have a lot of time to figure everything out. I hope it get's a little easier :)


Good luck! It sounds like you will get through it even if it is hard. :)

Lori - posted on 01/04/2010

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Making the decision that my husband's (soon-to-be-ex) anger was out of control. It was a very fine line since nothing overt had happened yet. After I asked him to leave and work through this in counseling, he physically abused one of our sons in front of the others. I then went through legal channels to protect my sons and put him in a "parenting timeout" for a year. He is now back in their lives, with protections in place for them, and working through his anger issues. At the time, my sons were 15, 11, 11, and 8.

Crystal - posted on 01/04/2010

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My five year old daughter was 13 1/2 months when she started walking and four days after she turned 14 months she tried to run and fell down. She cracked her forehead open and had to get stitches. And when she was two she had to have an egk done because the doctor thought she was having abisence siezures, but turned out she wasn't. She then ended up having the thing under her tongue clipped to help her with her speech when she was 41/2.

Sharon - posted on 01/04/2010

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hardest thing?



1. when my first son was born, he had fluid in his lungs and was admitted to NICU. He wasn't allowed to eat for 3(?) days and his crying with hunger felt like pains through my chest.



2. My younger son was 6 months old when he was diagnosed with pneumonia after we all had recovered from the flu. Not only was he desperately ill from the flu. But he was weak from the constant puking, and the pneumonia really took a toll on him. Forcing the medicines down his throat, forcing the breathing treatments on him... SUCKED ASS.



3. My daughter had said she wasn't feeling great earlier. I thought it was a headache from hunger, fed her and headed for home, 200 miles away. We were on the highway and she was asleep. She woke up and began SCREAMING & screaming & screaming, saying her head hurt, her head hurt over and over. I'm doing 75mph and trying to look over my shoulder at her and direct my oldest on how to help her and trying to remember where the nearest hospital was. I flew down the offramp at 95mph. She threw up and instantly went silent. She wouldn't respond or talk to anyone, occasionally she would moan while I scanned street signs for a hospital sign. I knew this town and i knew the hospital was just a street or two away from the offramp.



We were there for hours. They ran every test, spinal tap, catscan, blood work, urine tests... I was asked question after question. she didn't move when they stuck her with a needle to take blood. She barely cried or moved for the spinal tap...



they told me she had an ear infection.



She NEVER once complained of her ear hurting. She was 6 yrs old and perfectly capable of differentiating between a headache and an ear ache. Her ears weren't red until the 3rd or 4th time they had a look. her pediatrican didn't believe it but she was better so we just put the diagnosis off and kept an eye on her. We now think it was a migraine brought on by dehydration.

Rebecca - posted on 01/04/2010

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Quoting Sondra:

So far, it's been the different parenting styles that my husband and I seem to have. At first I thought we would be on the same page about everything. As it turns out there are a few key things that we have opposite stances on, such as santa, corporal punishment, and how often a baby should be held even. It's hard because we both want best for our son but I can't help but feel that what I want for him is the better way to go. We are still working on the kinks of course. Our son is only 6 months and we have a lot of time to figure everything out. I hope it get's a little easier :)



The first year is the hardest. Trust me. Now that we have 2 kids, a 2yr iold and a 6 month old we are so happy:)

Rebecca - posted on 01/04/2010

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My daughter stopped breathing at age 3 weeks when i placed her in her crib to go throw a load of laundry in. Her head was to the side and her pacifier was in her mouth. she was a side sleeper but she flipped right over and her lungs could'nt handle her little body,not even 7lbs. I worry to this day about her now that she is amost 6 months and rolling on her tummy to sleep. I am so lucky she came back to us♥

My son is 2yrs and a few month ago was acting funny so we took him to the er and the dr said it was a cold...went back 2 days later and demanded an x-ray and he had pnemonia so bad his whole scan was white. He also had H1N1. We were lucky to catch it when we did and we were in line 2 weeks later when clinics opened for our shots.

Sondra - posted on 01/04/2010

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So far, it's been the different parenting styles that my husband and I seem to have. At first I thought we would be on the same page about everything. As it turns out there are a few key things that we have opposite stances on, such as santa, corporal punishment, and how often a baby should be held even. It's hard because we both want best for our son but I can't help but feel that what I want for him is the better way to go. We are still working on the kinks of course. Our son is only 6 months and we have a lot of time to figure everything out. I hope it get's a little easier :)

Michelle - posted on 01/04/2010

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My 7 month old going in for surgery and then having complications and being rushed back into surgery 5 days later.

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