
Valeria - posted on 04/13/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )
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I spoke with the father of my 6 month old baby about the monthly expenses and also custody and all those issues. We both agreed that we did not want to go to court and we have been getting along much better than before. Unfortunately he has a girlfriend, but now that we both get long and talk everyday not just about the baby but other things also. He tells me when he gets off from work and yesterday he mentioned he had been playing football in the morning which is no big deal except he hasn't told me what he's been doing in months. We had lost our communication a long long long time ago. Now that he has a girlfriend and I know about it (about 11/2 weeks since I found out he had a gf from his cousin) we seem to be talking a lot more. My question is where should I draw the line. He already made it clear that he has a gf and is "messing" around with her (shes a co-worker) and says he still loves me, yet when we talked about this new relationship he said I have to accept it... which I do, but its hard now that we're going back to our original goofy conversations. When he comes over we laugh and talk with the baby and everything seems fine. But there is this girl who I don't know. I want to get over him and everything once and for all, but he wants us to be ok. which is fine, but I don't know if me being ok and acting like nothing is wrong is the best thing to do in this situation. I keep thinking that he may leave this girl, but yet he isn't, and from what he said she came into his life in a vulnerable time when him and I were in a really bad place. I want to have a good relationship with him for my son, but I don't want him to think that everything is 100% ok when in reality it isn't or at least not to me.
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Cutemommy - posted on 04/16/2015
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Do you think he might be manipulating you so he doesn't have to go to court and have a set time?? are you 100% positive he makes less what if he got a raise or a new job. Idk I'm not a very trusting person so I think differently than you might but for him to start coming around cause you know about his girlfriend sounds like he is trying to kiss arse. It also sounds like he is telling you tmi about his relationship probably to downplay the seriousness of how much he loves her. Im not saying you have to go to court but you need to put your foot down, and tell him you don't give a damn about his personal life and he needs only to contact you when it is about your baby. One day he is going to be married having a baby and your going to be like but you said you didn't love her. Just be wise and don't trust the things he is telling you girl he might just be mind f*cking you... and i mean this in no harmful way i hope the best for you and your baby.
Ev - posted on 04/16/2015
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Its time to go to court then. No matter how much he is contributing now or not won't be what makes the final decision of the judge in any case for that matter. He is keeping on going over the same thing about you three being together and to you its not something you want. Its time to put this to rest. Get the custody, visitation and child support set.
Jodi - posted on 04/13/2015
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I agree that you should get court orders in place for custody and visitation and file for the child support so it is all documents. With regard to your relationship with him, it should be a coparenting relationship. It appears to me you may be confusing this with a couple relationship. His role is as father to the baby, not a companion to you. If you get along, that is absolutely fantastic, but he has moved on. You need to as well.
Ev - posted on 04/13/2015
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You should really have court orders in place for custody, visitation, and child support anyhow. It will protect all of you and keep you all in line as far as whose role is what and how it plays out. Next, its okay to spend time with him as long as its about the child and giving the child the chance to have both parents together. You need to stop having those silly or goofy conversations with him outside that to do with the baby.