who is my favorite?

Mahaline - posted on 10/29/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




according to my survey, most of moms are having the feeling of favoritism. as we all know. it could lead your other children to depression.


[deleted account]

I agree with Shawnn. Most moms I personally have known talk about how they try to teach their children that while they love different things about each of them and probably show it in different ways according to personality, but they want them to know they love them all equally. Most parents I know struggle with getting their kids to understand that they HAVE to treat them each differently according to age, maturity, and personality but that THAT does not mean one is getting preferential treatment or more love. My mom used to always say, 'Fair' is not 'equal'. And, whether or not they articulate it in the same way my mom did, that is in fact the concept I hear MOST parents I know trying to get across to their children. I have never in my life heard a parent (except on fictional tv shows) admit to favoring one child over the rest. So I, too, would be interested to see where your numbers came from, and also to hear from all these moms who supposedly admit to favoritism, because I have a hard time wrapping my head around that.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/29/2013




And just who did you survey? What demographics?

Personally, I believe that the results are skewed. I believe that every parent (in my acquaintance, at least) makes the effort to make sure that NONE of their kids feels slighted.

In my family, for example, certain privileges are based on age, as well as maturity. One son got to go to Germany his sophomore year in HS. The other has the same opportunity, but his maturity level isn't at the same place as his brother, so he'll wait two years. One son had extensive medical problems, requiring many out of town trips, hotel stays, etc. The other didn't, but he understood that his brother wasn't getting the attention because he was our "favorite".

I would say expand your survey base, include a larger demographic, and you'll find different results. Male oriented societies (such as those surrounding the Islam faith, for example) tend to favor boys over girls. But you cannot make a blanket statement like "MOST OF MOMS are having the feeling of favoritism". Not without some seriously solid numbers to back you up.

Care to share those numbers, and the info about where & when this "survey" was conducted, including demographics?


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Michelle - posted on 10/29/2013




I feel that comment is a bit extreme.
I also think it does depend on if it's obvious favoritism or unintentional/subtle.
I always make the effort to spend one on one time with all of my children and if they ever need to talk I am available to them.

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