Why do some mother's think it's ok to let there childen hit other children!

S. - posted on 05/01/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 4 year old has always had a temper and I used to worry that she would loose it at nursery and hurt someone, I have spent years telling her not to hit, hurtings wrong, hurting = big trouble, you must not hit back you must tell the mum and you know what she never looses it and I always only hear good things from the teachers (granted she can still hit her big sister, apart from that she never hits anyone else) my problem is with others just letting there kids hurt her and I dont know what to do. One boy at nursery always gets made to say sorry and I can see the mum is trying that's fair enough but there's another boy who is always hitting and hurting and the mum just seems to be ignoring it, The woman laughted and refered to my daughter as a grass the other day! Now believe me I'm now kicking myself really hard that I never said out to her, it was ok the other day for my daughter to "grass" on her son when he nearly scolded him self playing with the hot tap! But she ignore the fact she is crying that he poked her it the eye! I was so frustrated with her letting him get away with it, I said to my daughter "if he hurts u again hit him back" her reply was "hit him? Hit him? You want me to hit him?" I said " no I was wrong, we don't hit" and told her to tell him if he's hurting her she's not going to play with him! The boy was hitting another girl an other week and the girl wolloped him back a few times to which the boys mum complained to me how bad the girl was and that the mum let her get away with it!
I hate to see kids hitting each other, in later life we don't hit people who piss us off we learn to deal with them but then I can't leave my little girl to keep being hurt by this boy whilst his mother ignores her. This mother is in a new group of friend as we are new to the area and she is clearly struggling with all 3 of her boys and I'm not great with confrontation but I really need to sort it out.

Any advice will be greatfully revived thank you.


Tabitha - posted on 05/01/2012




While I agree that children shouldn't be taught to hit or allowed to hit, she needs to learn how to defend herself. Sometimes, that will include hitting back. This little boy may not even realize that it hurts her. But when she hits him back a few times, he will. And when the mother says something about it, let her have it! She needs to be correcting him when he is hurting other children, unless she is trying to raise a serial killer that enjoys hurting people! Ok, that was a bit harsh but the point is, if he never learns that it's wrong, he'll never stop doing it.


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Bethany - posted on 05/01/2012




I know where ur coming from. My 3 year old son has always been pushed around and hit when we went to our local park and the mothers wouldnt do anything. My partner started coming with us to the park a few months ago and having no shame if our son got hit/pushed my partner would yell out across the park to do it back and if the mothers looked at him, hed give them a filthy look and theyd straight away go and sort out their childs behaviour. It seems a bit extreme but it worked. Its probably not something u would want to.do though

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