Will I get into trouble for this in court?

Brittney - posted on 02/05/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My ex bf and I have a 19 month old son. Paternity was established last February and he's been visiting his son since then. I really don't want him to have a say in our sons life. He left me when I was pregnant and his whole excuse is that he caught me with another man and didn't know if it was hishe kid. He even made me get a DNA test done. And now he's engaged to some girl he dated in high school. He took me to court in September over joint custody and he got joint legal for some reason. Luckily he didn't get joint physical. He found out my bf that my son and I live with is a felon. He has a D felony for domestic battery, battery, criminal recklessness. My bf hit me once and I called and left my ex a message to let him know, and then my bf called and was justifying his reason. Now my ex thinks this house ain't safe for my baby and me and he wants full custody. He said I'm not responsible cuz I won't get a job to help support my son, and because I don't have a license or a car and because I wanted to take my son with me to meet a man I met online. He said since he has texts and voice mails of me and my bf talking about all this stuff then he has enough proof to show judge I'm not responsible as a mom. But he had a hard time even finding a good job. He claims he got one now that he actually likes and is making good money at. But it made it where he had to move back to where he originally lived last year which is almost 2 hours away. He lived there when the original court order was filed and for some reason the judge didn't think it was a major distance factor, so he still got overnight visits. Am I going to be in trouble for any of this when we go to court?

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Jodi - posted on 02/05/2015

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I am really hoping this one is another troll post, because if it isn't, then lady, you need to seriously grow up and get your head out of your arse.

"He left me when I was pregnant and his whole excuse is that he caught me with another man and didn't know if it was hishe kid." ~~Why he left YOU or when he left YOU is totally irrelevant to the custody of the child. He didn't leave the child, he left you. He is clearly still interested in being in the child's life. That's a positive thing for your child.

"And now he's engaged to some girl he dated in high school." ~~ so what?

"He took me to court in September over joint custody and he got joint legal for some reason. " ~~ I don't know where you live, but joint legal custody is pretty normal. Most engaged (as opposed to disengaged) parents will get joint legal custody because both parents have a right to have a say in how their child is brought up, educated, and so on.

"He found out my bf that my son and I live with is a felon. He has a D felony for domestic battery, battery, criminal recklessness.....now my ex thinks this house ain't safe for my baby and me and he wants full custody. " ~~ this is where I start to actually also question your parenting choices. I wouldn't want my child in that home either. And he's got the evidence that it probably isn't safe.

" He said I'm not responsible cuz I won't get a job to help support my son, and because I don't have a license or a car and because I wanted to take my son with me to meet a man I met online." ~~ I'm starting to like this ex of yours.

"He said since he has texts and voice mails of me and my bf talking about all this stuff then he has enough proof to show judge I'm not responsible as a mom." ~~ He's a really smart guy.

"he had to move back to where he originally lived last year which is almost 2 hours away. He lived there when the original court order was filed and for some reason the judge didn't think it was a major distance factor, so he still got overnight visits." ~~ Yes, he has a right to overnight visits. 2 hours is not a major distance. Wasn't he sensible to move to get a job if he couldn't get one where he was living.

"Am I going to be in trouble for any of this when we go to court?" ~~ Are you going to get in trouble? Well, the court case isn't about you, it's actually about what is in the best interests of the child. They won't get YOU into trouble, but they may decide that it isn't in the best interests of your son for you to have primary physical custody.

You may want to start looking at the choices you are making and make some changes if you truly care about your son and his future.

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2015

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It could. All depends on the judge. Both of you need to grow up and make better decisions. You have and continue to make poor decisions. It should not be about you and him it should be about what is best for your 19 month old. My suggestion is to start thinking about your son and not about you.

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