will my daughter's father ever love her? he put his girlfriend and her unborn child before our child

Taysiia - posted on 02/06/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )




we were 2getha 4yrs on and off but when iwas 6mons pregnant ifound out he was cheatin ibroke up with him and his girlfriend told him our daughter wasn't his and he's been denying her since then and he's so disrespectful towards me and my daughter it hurts really really bad but im trying to move ob and raise my daughter the best way i can because im a teen mom


Tina - posted on 02/15/2011




it's so sad i've seen this so often. The father comes in and out of the childs life and it's heart breaking. If he chooses not to be part of her life their's not much you can do but atleast she's got one parent that loves her and cares about her. But the fact is if he's done it to you he'll do it again to someone else. He's probably better off staying out of her life it might save some heartache. But I guess at some stage she's going to want to get to know her father and all you can do is hope he'll do the right thing by her.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2011




I say get child support, but I will also say hold your head up and be the best mom you can be for your daughter. Don't give him room to put you down, if he doesn't want anything to do with you, don't press it, let the courts handle the financial part and you move on. Cry for a little while, but think about your future and focus on that. Right now you have to worry about providing for your daughter and making sure that you will be able to give her a secure future and surround her with love so that she knows she is loved. I was once told that it is better to hurt now then to hate later. Hate is a powerful feeling and it can consume you, you don't want him to have that control over you. Let him go and know that it's better you see how he really is now, than to continue on and spend your whole life on a person who is clearly not worth it (and he's not worth it because he is choosing a girl over his child...his own flesh and blood and he doesn't even have respect for you, his baby's mother). You know the truth so hold your head up and keep moving. Your daughter is beautiful and it is his loss. If he can't respect you, he is not worth your love and you don't want your daughter to be around that negativity.

Anastasia - posted on 02/15/2011




Teenage parenting is not the easiest road to take, but it can be successful if you have the right support and attitude. I understand that you need the support from the father, if he does not which to come to the party – leave him be. You have much bigger and important tasks at hand. This is a big responsibly on both of you. From the readers and onlookers point of view he may carry the characteristics of an unsupportive, scared, unreliable adolescent. And as hard as it may sound he is not ready to stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Concentrate on given your baby the best possible upbringing, get your family involved. You are going to need all the help you can get. Be informed of your options and be ready to make some tough decisions, with or without your partner or family. With a confidence and hope for the future, your young family can be a stable one. Get involved in support groups that has the same situations as you do now.

Alecia - posted on 02/07/2011




just leave the door open for him...other than that u can not make him want to be apart of ur childs life. my mom had me when she 19 and married my father bcuz she felt pressured to do so from both families. he was a scumbag and abusive and thankfully my mom had enough sense to leave him so that i could grow up with a mother (he prbly woulda killed her and was going to her friends house where we were when she left him to do just that...) but she always said he could see me if he wantd and for a few years i did have visitaion (he never abused me at all, and usually only my mom in private, so she knew id be ok with him). she had to send food just i could eat when i went over there, and then the visitations got fewer and farther in btwn and when we moved from florida to NY i got like one letter from him and that was it. but since i was about 2 i had an AMAZING step-daddy who is my dad. he is always there for me and has loved me like his own from the beginning. ur daughter will eventually see what kind of man he is and know she is better off without him. somewhere out there is a man who will love u both and take great care of u. until then just stay strong and be the best mom u can. wishing u luck and sending some love and good vibes ur way!!


View replies by

Louise - posted on 02/07/2011




This is his loss and very sad for you and your daughter. Always leave the door open for him to walk back into her life so that as your daughter grows up she will know that you tried to get her father into her life. This is very important. Write him a letter saying that you would like him in his daughters life for her sake and nothing more and that you want to make a fresh start. See what happends maybe one day he will grow up and realise what a fool he has been. In the mean time move on with your life, get a good education then job and be all that you can be to that little bundle of love of yours. Stay strong and look forward and not back.

Taysiia - posted on 02/06/2011




ihave signed him up for child support we're just waitin to do the dna tst and get the results,

Stifler's - posted on 02/06/2011




You're a mum regardless of whether you're a teen mum. Get a paternity test and make him pay child support,she's still his child.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms