Worried that my little boy is out-of-control...

Ashley - posted on 06/29/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi ladies...
My little boy is five. I realize that this age can be...rambunctious. But I really worry that my son is more so than other children his age. He is constantly jumping and climbing on furniture, shelving, boxes, and the like. I really truly cannot turn my back on him for one second without finding something either messy or damaged...or that he has run out the door and to the neighbor's house without permission. At times when he is being watched by someone else, I get comments like "he was a perfect angel" or "he was no trouble at all". This is extremely frustrating, since at home with me it seems he can't behave for any length of time. He is easily frustrated...small things lead to meltdowns. I am a 26-year-old single mother and his father lives on the other side of the country and has no contact with him. Additionally, I work two jobs and I just don't get to spend much time with him anymore. By the time I do get home, it's a monumental effort just to keep calm with him after a long shift or two.
Any suggestions or ideas would be appreciated like I can't express. I love him so much. It kills me to think that he might act this way his entire life...or worse, that I could do something about it that I'm not doing. Please help!


Tina - posted on 06/30/2012




I think you'll find alot of kids are like that my cousin has 3 girls the eldest 4 and 5 and they're both very much like this. When I have the eldest one one stay with me she behaves pretty well but the moment her parents and sister rock up the fun begins. And it's pretty much the same with other kids i've looked after. The important things is if you have rules that you stick to them. And if you tell him there is going to be consequence to his action stick with it. It may not be easy. He may get nasty and say I hate you and all the rest. But he doesn't mean it. Eg you say if you don't do such and such no tv. Mean it. I've had to even with my son at less than two he was misbehaving and even though he can't talk properly he was warned if he kept up no tv. He kept up so the tv went off. He didn't like it but with persistance he learns boundaries. Diet can contribute alot to a childs behaviour too certain preservatives and so on can make children act out. He definately needs some activity in the arvo to wear himself out. Like Louise suggested karate or something is good.

Louise - posted on 06/30/2012




He is acting this way to get your attention. Set aside time for him every day to wind down. Try and sit with him and do a jigsaw puzzle or play snap or pairs. Time to sit still and concerntrate rather than swing from the rafters. Make sure you also have outside let of steam time as well where he can run, jump and climb. You have two jobs now would it not be worth looking for one job that pays more money so that you do have time to spend with him. Contact his father and tell him you are struggling with his son and bills see if he will help. Make sure you have got all the benefits due to you as a single mum.

I think you will find his behaviour will settle down once he is at school full time. Another way for him to get energy out and gain control is karate. Karate classes start as young as 4 and the kids need to listen and learn as well as play.


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Ashley - posted on 07/02/2012




I am looking for another job, definitely.
Tina, I wasn't aware that preservatives could affect his behavior...I'll have to do some research on that and maybe find better dietary choices.
Thanks for your encouragement, ladies. I've worried that maybe he has some issue because his father's side has a history of bi-polar and the like. :/
I don't get any support from his father, but I am collecting a small amount of welfare to help make ends meet for now. I wonder if there isn't some kind of program in CA for children's behavioral services that I can get for free or a reduced cost???

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