would u smack another mums child

Clare - posted on 09/02/2009 ( 278 moms have responded )

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hi there

alot of u are quick 2 smack your child if they are naugthty but would u smack another mums child if they were in your care or u were with there mum n the mother wasn't using the correct (i say that lightly) form of punishment as u deem 2 think! it worries me 2 think some mums would i think that would be outragueous if any mum done that!

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Carolyn - posted on 09/19/2009

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Smacking is the same as spanking and I do not agree with that for any child. I am a retired Day Care Provider of 25yrs. I always have watched other peoples children and I did not ever smack pr spank anyone's child. Most of the parents do not realize that you can raise a child with out smacking or spanking. You can teach them that whatever they are doing is wrong they just do not know or do not want to take the time it takes to correct children in a positive way. I know it can be done, because I've done it for 25yrs.

Sharon - posted on 09/02/2009

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LOL nice choice of inflammatory wording. NO I would not "smack" another persons' child. that is assualt. I might smack a neice or nephew on the butt IF I were close with both parents and the child was alone in my care. Other wise I expect the parent to discipline their child.

Jaime - posted on 09/10/2009

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Quoting Jaci:



Quoting Jaime:

I don't spank and I won't spank...not my child or anyone else. I believe in discipline, even if it takes a lot of work. I think that asking whether or not a 'spanker' would spank another person's child is a valid question because there are so many mothers that believe in it as a form of 'discipline', but when asked if they would use it on a child not their own, they are almost certainly offended at the thought. It's a fair question. If a person that uses spanking believes that spanking is the ONLY way to discipline their child, should they not then expect people to spank their child at school, daycare or elsewhere? And for that matter, if a person believes in spanking and watches the child of a friend that believes in spanking...should they not consider spanking to be the first form of discipline to use each time, instead of time-outs? It's funny to see the reactions of Moms that spank their kids, when asked if they would spank another person's kid. Some Moms have agreed that they would if given permission...but then I wonder, why wait for permission? If some Moms believe that spanking is acceptable and harmless, then what's the big deal? Certainly Moms that use time-out don't need permission to put another child on a time-out if they are babysitting. This topic never ceases to fascinate me because the underlying contradictions involved in spanking, provide a perfect example as to why spanking is not the best form of discipline for any child.





I believe in spanking, I grew up in a very loving home and I occasionally got spanked. I took a class called Growing Kids God's Way and they talked about spanking, as far as spanking another person's child or having someone else spank my child I think it is wrong. Spanking should be done by a mother or a father because it is a last resort as dicipline and it in the Bible only parents are called to "chastise" their child. I also believe you should never do it in front of anyone because it should not be used as a form of embarrassing the child. It should never be done excessively and according to our growing kids God's way you shouldn't have to spank after 7 yrs. old. I think that those that do not believe in spanking if they'd take the class my husband and I did they would feel differently, not necessarily change their mind and decide to start spanking but see how some of us view it.





I think the bible and God should be left out of this conversation.  I don't care what THE BIBLE says about discipline...it's not helpful to a discussion about spanking.  If we were discussing history or politics then the bible would serve as an interesting viewpoint for the many facets of social idealism, but when it comes to "how to raise your kids properly"  the bible can't help you, so it does not and will not serve as a good reference or resource from which to pull a rebuttal argument against what I have said.  Teaching children 'right' from 'wrong' is a difficult task because we cannot actually teach children what is right and what is wrong...these terms are subjective and can only be defined and determined by each individual person.  By using proactive parenting techniques that focus on communication as the core value for creating a positive disciplinary base, parents are likely to be more effective in their approach to discipline because respect is established on the part of both parents and children.  Using fear to startle a child into a desired behaviour (which is exactly what spanking does), will most certainly confuse and perhaps even mentally, emotionally or physically damage the delicate psyche of a not-yet fully developed, rationally-thinking mind.

Sunshine - posted on 09/20/2009

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I SAY SPANK IF YOU NEED TO. IF OUR NEW AGED WORLD WENT BACK IN THE DAY WHEN PARENTS DISCIPLINED THERE CHILDREN WE WOULDN'T BE IN THE SITUATION WE ARE NOW. MOST KIDS DON'T SHOW ANY RESPECT. I WORKED IN THE SCHOOL SYSTEM IN A SMALL TOWN AND THE WAY THE KIDS ACT IS UNBELIEVABLE! PARENTS NEED TO GIVE THERE KIDS SOME LOVE AND ATTENTION AND A SPANKIN' IF NEEDED. NOT A BEATEN LIKE SOME PEOPLE MUST SEE IT AND SPANKIN'. I DO BELIEVE OTHER BEHAVIOR TECHNIQUES CAN BE PUT IN PLACE FIRST. SOMETIMES TIMES IT IS JUST A TAP ON THE BUT TO SAY HEY YOU KNOW BETTER. SOMETIMES THATS ALL IT TAKES TO LET THEM NO YOU MEAN WHAT YOU TEACH THEM. I THINK PEOPLE ARE CRAZY ABOUT THE SPANKING ISSUE!!!

Julie - posted on 09/20/2009

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If I had a loving relationship with another person's child and permission from the parent, I would swat a child's behind if that is what had been prearranged as discipline. Swatting works with some, does not work with others. Under any other conditions, swatting would be done out of anger and therefore, it would create anger and fear in the child.

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Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would never do that. If some other mom smacked my child she may just get smacked back!

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Crystal - posted on 09/21/2009

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No I would not hit another moms child.....I would be ferious if another mom were to smack my child.....

Jaime - posted on 09/21/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

Never, would I ever, spank another person's child. If a friend was over and their child did something inappropriate, I would bring it to that person's attention and let them handle it. I was spanked as a child and have no problem using it on occasion. I believe in spanking should the need arise (a swift swat to the rear-end to get their attention) and am friends with people who choose to use only words with their kids. That's fine, but I would never lay my hands on another person's child as I would never allow someone else to touch my children. As for the previous posting stating that a person who spanks knows no other way to discipline, I have a background in early childhood education and know many ways of discipling. Discipline = teaching. Spanking is not teaching - it is a punishment.


"I was spanked as a chld and have no problem using it on occasion"...so because you were spanked, you now believe in spanking.  You don't believe in spanking because it is effective and works, you believe in it because you were spanked and so now you spank your children.  This is exactly why spanking is being called in to question.  And too, if you have a background in ECE and know that discipline = teaching and spanking = not teaching...why then do you believe in spanking if you already KNOW that it is counterproductive?

Jaime - posted on 09/21/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

Never, would I ever, spank another person's child. If a friend was over and their child did something inappropriate, I would bring it to that person's attention and let them handle it. I was spanked as a child and have no problem using it on occasion. I believe in spanking should the need arise (a swift swat to the rear-end to get their attention) and am friends with people who choose to use only words with their kids. That's fine, but I would never lay my hands on another person's child as I would never allow someone else to touch my children. As for the previous posting stating that a person who spanks knows no other way to discipline, I have a background in early childhood education and know many ways of discipling. Discipline = teaching. Spanking is not teaching - it is a punishment.


"I was spanked as a chld and have no problem using it on occasion"...so because you were spanked, you now believe in spanking.  You don't believe in spanking because it is effective and works, you believe in it because you were spanked and so now you spank your children.  This is exactly why spanking is being called in to question.  And too, if you have a background in ECE and know that discipline = teaching and spanking = not teaching...why then do you believe in spanking if you already KNOW that it is counterproductive?

Lilia - posted on 09/20/2009

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I dont think it would be right to spank another mother's child even if he/she were in my care. The proper thing would be to report the incident to the mother when she got back and let her take care of it. I would definitely not like someone else spanking my child!

Amanda - posted on 09/20/2009

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Never, would I ever, spank another person's child. If a friend was over and their child did something inappropriate, I would bring it to that person's attention and let them handle it. I was spanked as a child and have no problem using it on occasion. I believe in spanking should the need arise (a swift swat to the rear-end to get their attention) and am friends with people who choose to use only words with their kids. That's fine, but I would never lay my hands on another person's child as I would never allow someone else to touch my children. As for the previous posting stating that a person who spanks knows no other way to discipline, I have a background in early childhood education and know many ways of discipling. Discipline = teaching. Spanking is not teaching - it is a punishment.

Jaime - posted on 09/20/2009

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Quoting Sunshine:

I SAY SPANK IF YOU NEED TO. IF OUR NEW AGED WORLD WENT BACK IN THE DAY WHEN PARENTS DISCIPLINED THERE CHILDREN WE WOULDN'T BE IN THE SITUATION WE ARE NOW. MOST KIDS DON'T SHOW ANY RESPECT. I WORKED IN THE SCHOOL SYSTEM IN A SMALL TOWN AND THE WAY THE KIDS ACT IS UNBELIEVABLE! PARENTS NEED TO GIVE THERE KIDS SOME LOVE AND ATTENTION AND A SPANKIN' IF NEEDED. NOT A BEATEN LIKE SOME PEOPLE MUST SEE IT AND SPANKIN'. I DO BELIEVE OTHER BEHAVIOR TECHNIQUES CAN BE PUT IN PLACE FIRST. SOMETIMES TIMES IT IS JUST A TAP ON THE BUT TO SAY HEY YOU KNOW BETTER. SOMETIMES THATS ALL IT TAKES TO LET THEM NO YOU MEAN WHAT YOU TEACH THEM. I THINK PEOPLE ARE CRAZY ABOUT THE SPANKING ISSUE!!!


"parents need to give there kids some love and attention and a spankin' if needed"...lol, and you wonder why kids are so confused in today's society.  Yes, we need to give our children love and attention.  No, we do not need to give them a spankin'.

Jaime - posted on 09/20/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



Quoting Julie:

To the mom who said that the Bible does not say "spare the rod spoil the child"..."He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24)






Not sure exactly how that gets turned around to "spare the rod spoil the child."






But anyways, if you want to take the Bible literally to justify hitting, you'd better be hitting with a 6-foot pole.  Because that's what the rod is, and no where does the Bible give allowance to change 6-foot pole into hand on rear end. 





Thank you Lisa...I knew if I just scrolled down a few more comments, I would see your response to this ridiculously misinterpreted proverb.  Julie did prove my point though that the Bible in fact DOES NOT say "spare the rod spoil the child". 



I'm not sure why this proverb keeps getting turned into a popular anecdote that I believe either you or someone else pointed out was part of a poem about domestic discipline.  It's interesting that so many Bible-happy people continuously misinterpret the proverb...just makes me wonder exactly how much attention they actually pay to what is written as opposed to the "popular opinion" about certain verses that people seem to accept without question!

Minnie - posted on 09/20/2009

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Quoting Julie:

To the mom who said that the Bible does not say "spare the rod spoil the child"..."He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24)



Not sure exactly how that gets turned around to "spare the rod spoil the child."



But anyways, if you want to take the Bible literally to justify hitting, you'd better be hitting with a 6-foot pole.  Because that's what the rod is, and no where does the Bible give allowance to change 6-foot pole into hand on rear end. 

Julie - posted on 09/20/2009

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To the mom who said that the Bible does not say "spare the rod spoil the child"..."He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24)

Cassana - posted on 09/19/2009

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I wouldn't smack someone elses child, I would try other things and if they were really playing up and were uncontrolable I would ring their parents and ask them to assist. I wouldn't be happy with someone else smacking my child so I wouldn't do it to someone elses.

Cassana - posted on 09/19/2009

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I wouldn't smack someone elses child, I would try other things and if they were really playing up and were uncontrolable I would ring their parents and ask them to assist. I wouldn't be happy with someone else smacking my child so I wouldn't do it to someone elses.

Jaime - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Melanie:



Quoting Jaime:




Quoting Melanie:





Quoting Lisa:






Quoting Jaime:







Quoting Jennifer:

Okay I would just like to go on record as saying there is a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child. Spanking is a form of correction when used in the right way and in a very calm manner. The good book says, spare the rod, spoil the child. The discipline is the spanking followed by adult teaching the correct way/behavior to do the next time. It is never okay to discipline some one else's child without their consent. I will get off my soap box now.













There isn't a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child.  Both actions involve physical force from one person to another.  The amount of force used makes no difference to the potentially damaging effects of the action.  Spanking in a calm manner? hmmm, not likely considering that spanking is a reaction.  And if a parent takes the time to calm down to a point where anger is removed from the reaction, then the spanking becomes premeditated and even more unnecessary.














The "good book" I will assume is the Bible and it does NOT say "spare the rod, spoil the child"--I promise. 














I have mentioned it before and I just want to reiterate to everyone that is in favour of spanking but completely opposed to the idea of spanking another person's child---why the intense opposition?  If you use spanking as a primary punishment or even a 'last resort' punishment when all else fails, how can you expect a daycare provider, family member or a friend to use discipline techniques like time-out, time-away, diversion, etc if you are so ADAMANT that your child will not respond the way you would expect to these practices?  Why is it so incomprehensible that a caregiver would discipline YOUR child using the measures that YOU use?  I mean if spankings are done with love and care and they don't really hurt the child, what the hell is the big deal?  Why, because you don't feel that it is another person's right to hit/smack/spank/swat/tap your child?  What makes it any more right for you to physically punish your child that it would turn into vigilantism or talks of legal action against a person that so much as raised a hand to your child???!!!  This is perhaps the most frustrating contradiction of this entire thread.  If spanking were truly embraced as a valid form of loving, caring discipline then the controversy over spanking a child would NOT exist.  Discipline is proactive...spanking is reactive, it's not a difficult concept!


















Completely agree with you Jaime.












 












Apparently, it IS a difficult concept for many.















People are not saying I'll smack my kid but no one else can. People are saying I am the mother it is up to me to discipline my child. By whatever means of discipline it is not up to some other randome mum to discipline someone elses child just because they don't like what they are doing.  As I said before close family and freinds can dscipline my child to the standard that I choose. (again when she is older as she is just a baby)












Well if that's how you feel about discipline Melanie, then good luck finding a daycare or school that will allow your child to go undisciplined if she misbehaves because YOU "[are] the mother and it is up to [you] to discipline [your] child.  And people ARE saying that they will spank but no one else can...read through the thread again...I promise you'll see what I'm talking about!










You need to go back and read what I wrote. I said my daughter needs to learn that not just mum and dad are in charge that other people have different rules and when she is in someone else house she follows thier rules.  BUT NO it is not up to some other randome mum who just happens to be near me at the time to discipline my child.





This is part of one of your replies:



People are not saying I'll smack my kid but no one else can. People are saying I am the mother it is up to me to discipline my child.



Your reply is in response to what I originally wrote about people being up in arms at the idea of another person spanking their child, even though they are in favour of spanking as either a primary or 'last resort' discipline.  My comment was meant to point out the very clear fact that spanking is wrapped up tight in controversy because everyone in favour of it claims to do so with "love and care" but at the mere mention or idea of someone else using such discipline they become aggressive, angry and threaten physical assault---and you wonder why so many others are opposed to unwanted physical force to begin with...it's not a mystery.



You might not like the thought of your disciplinary tactics being titled "unnecessary" or "ineffective", but those are the facts and that is the reality!  There is never a need to spank a child and no situation will ever excuse or justify such actions, so retaliation against those opposed to physical punishment will not yield your desired outreach of support.  The truth is that there are much more effective ways of disciplining a child, but because society still accepts spanking as a form of discipline, its falsely-wielded power succeeds through generations as an 'old adage': "I was spanked and I turned out just fine"... If the cycle just keeps continuing because it's 'tradition', then there won't be any room to heavily incorporate the wealth of information about discipline, into a positive reformation of societal expectations with regard to parenting.  More and more there are classes and seminars being delivered that focus on the core values of discipline and put the emphasis to learn and understand on the part of the child, rather than the parents.  Discipline begins at home and it never ends...once a child reaches the age of reasoning, self-discipline becomes an intrinsic expectation and a lifetime goal!

Melanie - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Jaime:



Quoting Melanie:




Quoting Lisa:





Quoting Jaime:






Quoting Jennifer:

Okay I would just like to go on record as saying there is a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child. Spanking is a form of correction when used in the right way and in a very calm manner. The good book says, spare the rod, spoil the child. The discipline is the spanking followed by adult teaching the correct way/behavior to do the next time. It is never okay to discipline some one else's child without their consent. I will get off my soap box now.











There isn't a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child.  Both actions involve physical force from one person to another.  The amount of force used makes no difference to the potentially damaging effects of the action.  Spanking in a calm manner? hmmm, not likely considering that spanking is a reaction.  And if a parent takes the time to calm down to a point where anger is removed from the reaction, then the spanking becomes premeditated and even more unnecessary.












The "good book" I will assume is the Bible and it does NOT say "spare the rod, spoil the child"--I promise. 












I have mentioned it before and I just want to reiterate to everyone that is in favour of spanking but completely opposed to the idea of spanking another person's child---why the intense opposition?  If you use spanking as a primary punishment or even a 'last resort' punishment when all else fails, how can you expect a daycare provider, family member or a friend to use discipline techniques like time-out, time-away, diversion, etc if you are so ADAMANT that your child will not respond the way you would expect to these practices?  Why is it so incomprehensible that a caregiver would discipline YOUR child using the measures that YOU use?  I mean if spankings are done with love and care and they don't really hurt the child, what the hell is the big deal?  Why, because you don't feel that it is another person's right to hit/smack/spank/swat/tap your child?  What makes it any more right for you to physically punish your child that it would turn into vigilantism or talks of legal action against a person that so much as raised a hand to your child???!!!  This is perhaps the most frustrating contradiction of this entire thread.  If spanking were truly embraced as a valid form of loving, caring discipline then the controversy over spanking a child would NOT exist.  Discipline is proactive...spanking is reactive, it's not a difficult concept!















Completely agree with you Jaime.










 










Apparently, it IS a difficult concept for many.












People are not saying I'll smack my kid but no one else can. People are saying I am the mother it is up to me to discipline my child. By whatever means of discipline it is not up to some other randome mum to discipline someone elses child just because they don't like what they are doing.  As I said before close family and freinds can dscipline my child to the standard that I choose. (again when she is older as she is just a baby)









Well if that's how you feel about discipline Melanie, then good luck finding a daycare or school that will allow your child to go undisciplined if she misbehaves because YOU "[are] the mother and it is up to [you] to discipline [your] child.  And people ARE saying that they will spank but no one else can...read through the thread again...I promise you'll see what I'm talking about!






You need to go back and read what I wrote. I said my daughter needs to learn that not just mum and dad are in charge that other people have different rules and when she is in someone else house she follows thier rules.  BUT NO it is not up to some other randome mum who just happens to be near me at the time to discipline my child.

Melanie - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting jenny :

you shouldnt smack your own child let alone some elses child.Theres never a need to smack a child and isnt an effective way to discipline your child,a person who smacks is someone who doesnt know better ways of discipline and needs parenting lessons or anger managment!



Who are you to judge someone as a bad parent just because they discipline differently to you. Or, I'm sorry are you perfect are you?



 



People are way to quick to judge other people everyone does things differently AND no one is perfect.

Venessa - posted on 09/19/2009

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That would be crossing the line. I can see time out or telling them no or not to do something but never to hit somebody elses child.

[deleted account]

No, I wouldn't. Parenting is a parent's job and anyone that watches your child should be on the same page as you and it should be made clear from the start how you want your child punished while they are not in your care.

Susan - posted on 09/19/2009

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No, never would i "smack" my child, i find that taking a toy or even putting them in a time out chair is enough and if my child was misbehaved in some else's care i would not mind if they put my child in timeout for that is what they get at home. then talking to them to make sure they understand.I would never "smack" another parents child.IMO i think it is rude and inconsiderate.I think each family has there own way of discipline,so i feel that if a child is misbehaved while in my care i would explain to the child that we don't do things like that around my house so please don't do it again then tell the parent. I just think the children can relate better if you talk to them as if they were an adult and not yell and using hitting to "try " to get something through. I also agree with the post above i don't feel there is any difference in hitting and smacking you are using force of the hand to punish and if you are mad or angry enough at your child you may not realize how hard or how many times you hit, I just hurt inside to see kids punished like that it really isn't necessary.But if you agree to that type of punishment i am not one to judge.

Jaime - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Melanie:



Quoting Lisa:




Quoting Jaime:





Quoting Jennifer:

Okay I would just like to go on record as saying there is a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child. Spanking is a form of correction when used in the right way and in a very calm manner. The good book says, spare the rod, spoil the child. The discipline is the spanking followed by adult teaching the correct way/behavior to do the next time. It is never okay to discipline some one else's child without their consent. I will get off my soap box now.









There isn't a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child.  Both actions involve physical force from one person to another.  The amount of force used makes no difference to the potentially damaging effects of the action.  Spanking in a calm manner? hmmm, not likely considering that spanking is a reaction.  And if a parent takes the time to calm down to a point where anger is removed from the reaction, then the spanking becomes premeditated and even more unnecessary.










The "good book" I will assume is the Bible and it does NOT say "spare the rod, spoil the child"--I promise. 










I have mentioned it before and I just want to reiterate to everyone that is in favour of spanking but completely opposed to the idea of spanking another person's child---why the intense opposition?  If you use spanking as a primary punishment or even a 'last resort' punishment when all else fails, how can you expect a daycare provider, family member or a friend to use discipline techniques like time-out, time-away, diversion, etc if you are so ADAMANT that your child will not respond the way you would expect to these practices?  Why is it so incomprehensible that a caregiver would discipline YOUR child using the measures that YOU use?  I mean if spankings are done with love and care and they don't really hurt the child, what the hell is the big deal?  Why, because you don't feel that it is another person's right to hit/smack/spank/swat/tap your child?  What makes it any more right for you to physically punish your child that it would turn into vigilantism or talks of legal action against a person that so much as raised a hand to your child???!!!  This is perhaps the most frustrating contradiction of this entire thread.  If spanking were truly embraced as a valid form of loving, caring discipline then the controversy over spanking a child would NOT exist.  Discipline is proactive...spanking is reactive, it's not a difficult concept!












Completely agree with you Jaime.








 








Apparently, it IS a difficult concept for many.









People are not saying I'll smack my kid but no one else can. People are saying I am the mother it is up to me to discipline my child. By whatever means of discipline it is not up to some other randome mum to discipline someone elses child just because they don't like what they are doing.  As I said before close family and freinds can dscipline my child to the standard that I choose. (again when she is older as she is just a baby)





Well if that's how you feel about discipline Melanie, then good luck finding a daycare or school that will allow your child to go undisciplined if she misbehaves because YOU "[are] the mother and it is up to [you] to discipline [your] child.  And people ARE saying that they will spank but no one else can...read through the thread again...I promise you'll see what I'm talking about!

Charesse - posted on 09/19/2009

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I would not smack the child of another person. I would, however, verbally reprimand the child of another parent if that child was being unkind to others, being destructive toward my property, being disrespectful to others or about to hurt himself or others or just misbehaving in general.

Danyelle - posted on 09/19/2009

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Goodness gracious! No one should be smacking any kids, their own or someone else's. I agree with one of the posts prior, that if a child is badly behaved I would not hesitate to tell the parent(s) of the child of my concern if it is warranted, or that I may not be inviting them over while they are exhibiting bad behaviours that may rub off on my own kids. But I would never, ever smack any child. If someone dared to smack mine..... well.... they would be deeply sorry! I simply do not stand for corpral punishment when children are the victims.

Melanie - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



Quoting Jaime:




Quoting Jennifer:

Okay I would just like to go on record as saying there is a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child. Spanking is a form of correction when used in the right way and in a very calm manner. The good book says, spare the rod, spoil the child. The discipline is the spanking followed by adult teaching the correct way/behavior to do the next time. It is never okay to discipline some one else's child without their consent. I will get off my soap box now.







There isn't a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child.  Both actions involve physical force from one person to another.  The amount of force used makes no difference to the potentially damaging effects of the action.  Spanking in a calm manner? hmmm, not likely considering that spanking is a reaction.  And if a parent takes the time to calm down to a point where anger is removed from the reaction, then the spanking becomes premeditated and even more unnecessary.








The "good book" I will assume is the Bible and it does NOT say "spare the rod, spoil the child"--I promise. 








I have mentioned it before and I just want to reiterate to everyone that is in favour of spanking but completely opposed to the idea of spanking another person's child---why the intense opposition?  If you use spanking as a primary punishment or even a 'last resort' punishment when all else fails, how can you expect a daycare provider, family member or a friend to use discipline techniques like time-out, time-away, diversion, etc if you are so ADAMANT that your child will not respond the way you would expect to these practices?  Why is it so incomprehensible that a caregiver would discipline YOUR child using the measures that YOU use?  I mean if spankings are done with love and care and they don't really hurt the child, what the hell is the big deal?  Why, because you don't feel that it is another person's right to hit/smack/spank/swat/tap your child?  What makes it any more right for you to physically punish your child that it would turn into vigilantism or talks of legal action against a person that so much as raised a hand to your child???!!!  This is perhaps the most frustrating contradiction of this entire thread.  If spanking were truly embraced as a valid form of loving, caring discipline then the controversy over spanking a child would NOT exist.  Discipline is proactive...spanking is reactive, it's not a difficult concept!









Completely agree with you Jaime.






 






Apparently, it IS a difficult concept for many.





People are not saying I'll smack my kid but no one else can. People are saying I am the mother it is up to me to discipline my child. By whatever means of discipline it is not up to some other randome mum to discipline someone elses child just because they don't like what they are doing.  As I said before close family and freinds can dscipline my child to the standard that I choose. (again when she is older as she is just a baby)

Melanie - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



Quoting Jaime:




Quoting Jennifer:

Okay I would just like to go on record as saying there is a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child. Spanking is a form of correction when used in the right way and in a very calm manner. The good book says, spare the rod, spoil the child. The discipline is the spanking followed by adult teaching the correct way/behavior to do the next time. It is never okay to discipline some one else's child without their consent. I will get off my soap box now.







There isn't a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child.  Both actions involve physical force from one person to another.  The amount of force used makes no difference to the potentially damaging effects of the action.  Spanking in a calm manner? hmmm, not likely considering that spanking is a reaction.  And if a parent takes the time to calm down to a point where anger is removed from the reaction, then the spanking becomes premeditated and even more unnecessary.








The "good book" I will assume is the Bible and it does NOT say "spare the rod, spoil the child"--I promise. 








I have mentioned it before and I just want to reiterate to everyone that is in favour of spanking but completely opposed to the idea of spanking another person's child---why the intense opposition?  If you use spanking as a primary punishment or even a 'last resort' punishment when all else fails, how can you expect a daycare provider, family member or a friend to use discipline techniques like time-out, time-away, diversion, etc if you are so ADAMANT that your child will not respond the way you would expect to these practices?  Why is it so incomprehensible that a caregiver would discipline YOUR child using the measures that YOU use?  I mean if spankings are done with love and care and they don't really hurt the child, what the hell is the big deal?  Why, because you don't feel that it is another person's right to hit/smack/spank/swat/tap your child?  What makes it any more right for you to physically punish your child that it would turn into vigilantism or talks of legal action against a person that so much as raised a hand to your child???!!!  This is perhaps the most frustrating contradiction of this entire thread.  If spanking were truly embraced as a valid form of loving, caring discipline then the controversy over spanking a child would NOT exist.  Discipline is proactive...spanking is reactive, it's not a difficult concept!









Completely agree with you Jaime.






 






Apparently, it IS a difficult concept for many.





People are not saying I'll smack my kid but no one else can. People are saying I am the mother it is up to me to discipline my child. By whatever means of discipline it is not up to some other randome mum to discipline someone elses child just because they don't like what they are doing.  As I said before close family and freinds can dscipline my child to the standard that I choose. (again when she is older as she is just a baby)

Melanie - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Donna:

NO WAY. You should not be smacking your own child. People who hit their kids do so because they don't know how to parent their children. It's the same with people who swear. Their vocabulary is so limited they don't know the right words to use.



Thats a bit out of line.Saying if another mother chooses to smack then they don't know how to parent thier child. I was bought up in a very strick house with a very strick mother and I love her to death and think she is a great mum. Don't judge peoples choices and judge them as a bad parent when you don't know anything about them.



As for the question. I would not just hit some other mums child. However if it was a neice or nephew and I knew the parents were ok with it then I would, and yes I would allow close family and friends to smack my child (when shes older, she's just a baby)  she needs to learn when she is in someone elses house she has to follow thier rules and that she has to listen to other grown ups not just mummy and daddy.

Minnie - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Jaime:



Quoting Jennifer:

Okay I would just like to go on record as saying there is a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child. Spanking is a form of correction when used in the right way and in a very calm manner. The good book says, spare the rod, spoil the child. The discipline is the spanking followed by adult teaching the correct way/behavior to do the next time. It is never okay to discipline some one else's child without their consent. I will get off my soap box now.





There isn't a HUGE difference between spanking and smacking a child.  Both actions involve physical force from one person to another.  The amount of force used makes no difference to the potentially damaging effects of the action.  Spanking in a calm manner? hmmm, not likely considering that spanking is a reaction.  And if a parent takes the time to calm down to a point where anger is removed from the reaction, then the spanking becomes premeditated and even more unnecessary.






The "good book" I will assume is the Bible and it does NOT say "spare the rod, spoil the child"--I promise. 






I have mentioned it before and I just want to reiterate to everyone that is in favour of spanking but completely opposed to the idea of spanking another person's child---why the intense opposition?  If you use spanking as a primary punishment or even a 'last resort' punishment when all else fails, how can you expect a daycare provider, family member or a friend to use discipline techniques like time-out, time-away, diversion, etc if you are so ADAMANT that your child will not respond the way you would expect to these practices?  Why is it so incomprehensible that a caregiver would discipline YOUR child using the measures that YOU use?  I mean if spankings are done with love and care and they don't really hurt the child, what the hell is the big deal?  Why, because you don't feel that it is another person's right to hit/smack/spank/swat/tap your child?  What makes it any more right for you to physically punish your child that it would turn into vigilantism or talks of legal action against a person that so much as raised a hand to your child???!!!  This is perhaps the most frustrating contradiction of this entire thread.  If spanking were truly embraced as a valid form of loving, caring discipline then the controversy over spanking a child would NOT exist.  Discipline is proactive...spanking is reactive, it's not a difficult concept!





Completely agree with you Jaime.



 



Apparently, it IS a difficult concept for many.

Lisa - posted on 09/19/2009

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Quoting Deidre:



Quoting Jenifer:

I don't spank, period, but if another mother spanked my son I'd be furious. She's probably end up in the hospital. I don't think it is my place to discipline someone else's child in the first place, but hitting a kid really takes things to another level. And even though no one here has said they'd do it, there are people out there who don't seem to have those boundaries. I just saw this in the news, and thought I should share it in this discussion:
http://www.cbsatlanta.com/news/20684677/...





O.M.G. !!!!! that's all I think I can say about that news article.






I do smack my children in the most extreme of circumstances but would never ever smack another child!  If they were in my care without their parent(s) then I would call their parents (if their behaviour was that bad) to come and get them, explaining the circumstances.  Out in a shop, I may comment to a parent about a child's behaviour, but never ever intervene.  It is that parent's right to enforce their discipline techniques, and in all cases we don't know all the circumstances behind a family situation. 



This article was a shock, that someone could be so stupid and out of control to hit a 2 year old child because she was annoying him, is beyond comprehension.  In Australia the laws state that you are allowed to smack your child, but only with an open hand and not with any implement, and you are not allowed to hit around the head or neck.  So to hit a child accross the face (and a 2 year old at that) would even be against the law for the parent!

Tam - posted on 09/19/2009

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Absolutely NOT! Regardless of how I discipline my own children, I would be asking the child's mother what their discipline routine is and following what she says is OK. I would also report back any particularly bad behaviour in case there is any underlying reason for this.

Sandra - posted on 09/19/2009

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i wouldnt smack any other persons child because i would not like it done to my grandson i would be highly offended

Melony - posted on 09/18/2009

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Here in Illinois it is illegal to use corporal punishment if you are not the child's parent. I do not condone using physical punishment on a child that is not your own. I wouldn't want someone hitting my child so in return I would never lay a hand on someone else's child. It is not acceptable to hit any child!

Darnell - posted on 09/18/2009

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I do believe that smacking any one else child is wrong if you are taking care of that child for a non relative. But if it is your relative and they give you permission to correct their child, you don't always have to smack a child to correct them, there are other ways to correct a child.So to avoid any problem use good judgment always.

Tanya - posted on 09/18/2009

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I honestly think no other person but the childs parents has a right to use a smack as discipline. I certainly would not smack a child in my care but inform the parents of their childs bad behaviour and if this child was to be in my care often I would ensure his behaviour is modified by the parents or I would not care for the child. You could also be leaving yourself open to litigation from the parents if you smack their child.

Charlotte - posted on 09/18/2009

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When I was little my parents would give me 3 warnings and then if I did it a 4th time I would get a smack and it worked with me bacause I when they warned me the 2nd time I would stop. This I may use with my boys only if needed and other avenues do not work. And at the same time the also explained to me what I was doing wrong when they warned me. But as to wether I would smack another child the answer is NO, even if I was aked to or given permission to I beleive it is only up to the parents to do this. As everyone had a different interpretation as what a smack is. If other parents do not agree with smacking that is OK to we all parent in what ever way we feel works for us. With some childeren smacking does not work so other discplinary action is needed wether it is taking toys or treats away. I hope that I bring my boys up not needing to smack but if it is needed I will try but hope I can work things out in other ways.

Jenny - posted on 09/18/2009

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You know!! I cant believe what you are saying!!!
STOP IT NOW!
Don't hit anyone!
You have a baby - almost two years old - what are you thinking of?
Please stop!
I can tell you that there had been a big risk that you would loose that child to a fosterfamily if you had lived in Sweden.
And risked going to jail for spanking a one year old baby!
Can't believe it...

Jessica - posted on 09/18/2009

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I wouldnt do it if the mother didnt choose that form of discipline for their children. Yes I spank my son and he is almost two years old. And I spank my other nieces and nephews. If i see a child out of line and they get spankings on a regular, I would spank another mother's child. If they were in my care, I would make sure the mother knows that its my chosen form of discipline and if they say they wouldnt want me to spank them then i would respect their wishes. I allow other people to spank my son. I just believe that it really does take a villiage to raise a child. And if my son is acting up when i am not around then he needs to be dealt with at that time.

Jenny - posted on 09/18/2009

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Speaking as a preschool teacher
To hit another being is controlling by bad power and it makes the being loose faith in you.
Do you want your own children to fear you?
Never ever hit someone else! Never!
How can you say that war is wrong if you hit your own most precious child?
To rise a chold is made of respect of each other, do you respect someone if you hit?

Debbye - posted on 09/18/2009

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Hi -- I work as a family counselor; Children who have been spanked by a parent or authority figure other than their own parents experience confusion and sometimes trauma. No one knows your child the way you do, and many times, other adults have much more stringent expectations of your child than you do. As a result, children will act out in response to the confusion they feel.



The purpose of discipline is not to control a child -- it is to reinforce the acceptable pathway the child is to walk on. Discipline is simply the guardrails on that path. To hit a child without teaching the child first; or to hit a child quickly in frustration; because you expect them to act like an adult; this doesn't reinfoce anything but your own anger and control. Additionally, I don't believe you should ever use your hands for anything other than blessing or expressing love to your child. Many children become confused, especially when the face or mouth is hit -- especially later, when the parent reaches to touch them with gentle care -- the child flinches in fear, not knowing what to expect.

Monica - posted on 09/18/2009

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i would not smack another moms kid. i am in a situation like this right now.i have a friend that leaves next door. i watch her child when he gets off the bus with my kids. i hate the way she lets her kids talk back to her and disrespect her. her son barely listens to me but i bite my tongue and there are times if gets that bad i will sit and talk to her not that does any good.but i would never lay my hand on anothers child.

Jenny - posted on 09/18/2009

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It is strictly forbidden by law in Sweden to hit a child or anyone in any way!

And I am glad for that, use you're hands to caress.

Love

from Jenny in Sweden

Nicola - posted on 09/18/2009

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I would and have smacked my own child, if a child misbehaved in my care they would be sat on the naughty step or in a reallky bad case i would call their mother to take them home! and just never have them in my house again!

Zaporah - posted on 09/17/2009

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For starters, I wouldn't smack another moms child. I believe that what other people do with their children is their buisness. Now as for me personally, I do discipline my children but it not what you do but how you do it. Children need to know that there are boundries and not disciplining children is harming them instead of helping them.

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