14 month old cries all the time...

Cailie - posted on 09/08/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My husband and I both work. I work 4 days 8 hr shifts and my husband works 5 days unknow amout of hours. we have noticed that in the last few months we feel that everyone else is enjoying our son grow up and we are left with him crying from the moment that we pick him up till we lay him down at night. It happens more during the weekend when our family watches him and when i try to talk to them about his schedule and what i woluld like done with him while they are watching him they just reply with FREE BABYSITTING. i konw that its free but i would like to enjoy my son when i get home from a long day at work. my husband and i are at our ends. The family that watches him are his grandma and his aunt. they love to watch him and i don't want to have to take that away from them. what should i do...and anyone have any suggestion on hwo to get him in a better mood with out giving him everything that he wants?

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Ami - posted on 09/17/2009

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I was in that situation before, i finally had to just put him with a private sitter. Now they regret not listening to me, but that is my child and my schedule will be followed. now if he spends the nite, they follow my schedule to a T. I didnt want to, but it got to that point.

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I think you should just be up front with them and let them know that because they dont stick to the schedule that is best for your son, you are left with a cranky child because of it and are not able to enjoy your son like you should. If they cant after that...you may want to find another babysitter/daycare provider.

Cristina - posted on 09/15/2009

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As I'm sure you already are, skimp everywhere you can to attempt to find extra pennies. Look at your states assistance programs for childcare, medical care, see if you can find a program that will help you gather more pennies, cut costs of "professional" childcare, work fewer hours to have more time with him....

If they're not listening, they may not be good for your family, and for your son.

The worst feeling in the world is that constant struggle. Take walks with him on the weekends, take him to parks, find special things that you can do with your son that your care providers (family or otherwise) would not do.

Stay strong. If they can't listen, they SHOULD lose. They SHOULD respect your schedule, your requests, whatever. I'm sorry if you find a new rift in your family. You should not have to battle for your child's affections.

Hannah - posted on 09/15/2009

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have u tryed to take him to thepark or freinds house who also has a baby a good thing for young children is for them to spend time with kids their own age aswell as family

Cailie - posted on 09/14/2009

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Thank u so much! That's where I run into a lot of problems no latter how much I tell them it dose not stick! Inhave even gone to the point of writting out a scheduel or two and put it on there fridge or back door. It seems like they don't care and I do not have the money to pay anyone else. I am stuck and I feel gulity evey day I drop him off Cause I know what's going to happen. The other thing that really suck is that he spends our three days together catching up on sleep!! I am just at a lost!

Lindsey - posted on 09/08/2009

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I would definately express to granmda and aunt how important it is to have a regular schedule at his age. I know what its like to pick up your child who napped way to late and u cannot get back on a regular scedule for days @ home. I would definately tell them what time he regularly takes a nap with u guys and ask them to please respect your wishes by doing what is best for him to stay on a regular schedule that he is used to with you and your husband. A lot of times when children at that age are crying excessively it is from changes in their regular routine. this can be anything from a new full time bbsitter that thet are adjusting with or an irregular schedule to separation anxiety type things. They just dont know how to express in words so it comes out in tears and anger. I learned this from a coparenting class they really stressed on each section how important it is to have a regular routine.

also...without giving him everything he wants...

do they give him everything he wants? u/they need to let him cry it out or he can become spoiled. I know that it is so easier said than done. but it normally doesnt last 5 min. then he should forget what he's crying about and can sometimes be distracted by a fav toy or a familiar lullaby.

I always ask when I pick my daughter up...

How was she for a nap? how long did she sleep and what time/times?

Did she eat well for you today? what did she eat for dinner? how long ago?

When I am leaving I always say, Do you wanna go see your kitty? she will then be excited to go home! The cat always runs straight out the door when we get there but she 4gets about him halfway home but remembers that she is excited to go home. It took time to get adjusted to each little phase but as soon as u figure it our their on to the next! Good luck!! I hope I helped, I can start to ramble

As soon as I get home I offer a drink and a snack like a slice of cheese or something small. If she eats it all right away I offer more meal like foods. If she isn't interested in eating then I set her in the living room and pop in goog ole backyardigans and give her a sippie to hold. By the time I get home it is usually 9Pm and I haven't seen her all day. So, I know how it goes. i work 4 days a week also areond 40 hrs total, so long days away and 3 are in a row. By the time thursday comes we are both missing each other so I just plan on staying up late because all she wants is to hang out with me. I figure she isn't starting school tomarrow so I don't even try to put her down until she act tired. She is 17 months.

Brittany - posted on 09/08/2009

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I'm sorry if this sounds harsh...but you tell the "babysitters" that free or not, as this child's mother, you want him cared for according to rules and a schedule you are comfortable with.



My mother watches my son, and she absolutely loves it, but I made sure she knew from the beginning that while I appreciated her watching him (although I do pay her a small amount), she would not watch him if she didn't stick to my rules. She doesn't break them out of respect for me.



Your babysitters are using what should be a gift given out of love (the free babysitting), and are using it to manipulate you. That's not right...free or not.



Sorry if that's harsh. I mean no offense.

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