any ideas on how to get partner to muck in with domestic chores????? (without him noticing ;-)

Astrid - posted on 01/14/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




Got 2 kids and I have just returned to work after my maternity leave.
Finding it really difficult to combine childcare & working as I just don't have enough hours in the day. I'm sure I'm not the only one having 2 full-time jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any suggestions on how to get my partner to take on a bit more of the household chores, so the work at home gets done without me losing the plot completely??????


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H.J - posted on 01/17/2010




Suggest a house cleaner... no man wants to pay somebody for what they could do themselves cheaper hehe

Kerryn - posted on 01/17/2010




Yes, got sick of asking, and we would always end up fighting, so not worth it! Now I make him take the kids outside for the morning and i stay in and give the house a good going over. Now i find if i just do it, i'm happier cos the house is clean, without all the drama.

Andrea - posted on 01/16/2010




My husband and I have also had several fights about helping around the house. I've tried leaving it for him to do, and he would just leave it there for how ever long it took for me to give in and pick it up. But I found when I ask for him to just do it "whenever he has a chance" it gets done alot more quickly and he isn't as grumpy about doing it. Good luck girl! I think we're all in the same boat with this one! :)

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2010




Don't dwell on who has done what--that will only cause fights, start fresh: write out the main chores and when would be a good day to do them and discuss with him who should be responsible for which. Equally disperse them and have the list somewhere where it can be seen easily to keep everyone accountable.

Brenda - posted on 01/15/2010




I've got 3 kids and work a full time job. I just tell him what he needs to do. I don't think its fair for 1 parent to have to do all the domestic duties while the other has none and they both work outside the home. I have 3 kids, not 4! LOL

Chloe - posted on 01/15/2010




i have the same problem but i dont ask i tell while hes watching t.v or on his computer totally zoned out and say do the washing for me please or put the kids to bed as hes zoned out he just says watever then thats the trick as about an hour later u say ah i thought u said u where going to do the washing and put the kids to bed and he does it simple as that i dont know if it will work for you or anybody else for that fact but its worth a try hehe

Amy - posted on 01/15/2010




as you mentioned in a comment, if you end up in an argument and he think's he does his fair share, then what you could do is write out what chores are being done and who does them. See how fair it really is. Then try to give him some of the more guy chores.

If my husband and I ever argue over what needs to be done, we just talk about what's left and try to split it up. Honestly he does a lot of the housework since he's a stay at home dad. We seem to prefer doing opposite chores so it works out well for us too.

Good luck!

[deleted account]

I don't think men even realize all that needs to be done. My hubby is helpful, but a lot of times he'll just watch TV while I'm taking care of the baby and cooking and cleaning, like he doesn't even notice. But I've found that if I just ask him sweetly if he'd mind doing such-and-such when he gets a chance (or at the next commercial), he'll happily do it. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/15/2010




mine did same thing with me i'm back at work now 2. me n my husband made a deal while i have 2 work (cause he doesnt earn enough) for me 2 be a stay at home mum he has 2 helps. he looks after bub 2days a week while i'm at work n has 2 do house work then if he doesnt i chuck anything of his i find outside under porgola so then house clean n he finds his things when gets home n has learnt after doing it a fue times cause it rained n they got wet lol but thats just me i'm sure not washing or ironing cloths would work my be tell him he has these things to do if he does his cloths dont get washed n ironed good luck

Astrid - posted on 01/15/2010




Thanks for your response Emma ..... he will probably phone his mum ;-)

I know I have to put my foot down, but previousely this has always ended up with arguments as he thinks he is doing his fair share.
I think he has been spoiled when I was on maternity leave, but now I'm back at work, I need to get his arse into gear. I'll start leaving the ironing and see what happens when he runs out of clean shirts to wear ......

Any other suggestions\tips etc where much appreciated.

Emma - posted on 01/14/2010




anything not yours or the kids leave for him to pick up,when he runs out of clothes he will click on worked for me and i dont work outside the house.

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