Anybody else feel gulity for working????

Amy - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I feel so gulity for working even though I know that it's a good thing for me to do so. But when I leave for work I feel like I haven't spent enough time with my kids. Anybody else feel like this?? Let me know I feel alone.

18 Comments

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Alexi - posted on 03/19/2010

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Yes! I have 2 daughters, 5 and 2, and have wished since they were born that I was able to keep them home with me. I work from home for a company that will not allow me to keep them with me while I work. I have tried to tell myself over the years that it was a good thing for them to be in childcare (and they are smart as whips), but I do miss the time I have lost with them.

If you are having these feelings, start saving and paying off bills like crazy so you can put your family in a position where you can stay home. We were not so smart with some financial decisions and are in better shape, but not the shape we need to be for me to have the youngest home (since the oldest is now in school).

I recently started a WFH business that has chipped away at our debt (almost debt free except our mortgage!), and I am finally well on my way to saying goodbye to my corporate position.

Kelly - posted on 03/01/2010

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Yes. I do everyday. I work in an industry that requires late night and weekend work sometimes, and that's when I start to get depressed. I try to get out early alot.

Khanya - posted on 03/01/2010

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if my man could afford me to stay at home i wouldn't even think twice. my baby's 4 months & i'm missing out on so much because i work ful day. it sucks!

Eloisa - posted on 02/28/2010

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I feel bad that someone else is spending the majority of the day with him, but he LOVES his daycare. And I'm lucky enough that I can make most of his little parties and parades because I work right up the road and work is pretty flexible most of the times. I hate to say it, but I don't think I could be a stay at home mom. I would have to at least be part-time.

Rebecca - posted on 02/28/2010

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Yes, definately, I went back part time when my son was 4 mths old, he went to a childminder. I then went full time when he was about 5 or 6 (can't remember exactly), but now he's 10 I have suddenly started to feel really guilty and wished I spent more time at home with him when he was younger and would love to be able to collect him from school more often. Although he only has another year left before he goes to High School and he'll be more independent and walking/cycling to school by himself. My advice, if you can afford to, spend as much time at home with them when they;re young, there's always time for work later in life, I wish I could have done things differently!

Jill - posted on 02/28/2010

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As a single parent, I dont have a choice but to work, a LOT. I've worked mistly night when my children slept for so many years. Now that they are much older, it's easier that I work while they are in junior high & high school days.
Dont ever feel guilty for doing what you have to to take care of your kids! :)

April - posted on 02/28/2010

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I have felt guilty leaving my son, but I know that I am lucky because my husband has been the stay at home dad for this past year and my mom lives with us so she steps in when both of us are working or have to be away from home. I think it gets a little easier as they grow older knowing that you are providing for your family, but it never goes away. At 19 months, I still feel bad leaving before he is awake and coming home after he has gone to bed. I am lucky I can work at home two days a week as well. You just have to find a schedule that works and have a partner who is willing to work with you.

JOY - posted on 02/28/2010

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I used to feel really guilty too. I just tell myself that I am working hard to send my girls to a good preschool and to pay for their activities which make their lives better. I think it's important to show kids the value of working hard. As long as you find some quality time with your kids each day and make even everyday experiences memorable for them, you can be happy :) Also, by sending your kids to daycare is a good way to prepare them for school and ease any separation anxiety...

Annabelle - posted on 02/27/2010

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Yes!! Too many hours away from home at what I call my 2nd full time job. Our 5 children are my #1 job and that is the way it should be. Balance is the key, however easier said than done.

[deleted account]

I have a hard time too, I feel like all I ever do is work work work and don't get to enjoy my kids either. Plus when I get home, it is work work work here too!

Natalie - posted on 02/27/2010

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My little guy is now 8 months ole, I went back to work when he was 13 weeks old. I only work prt time (4 days - 20 hrs per week) his dad looks after him while I work, but still I hate leaving him in the mornings & feel guilty....I just tell myself its the quality of time I spend with him that counts..

Mellonie - posted on 02/26/2010

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Yes! I can relate to much of what has been said. I even find myself at work thinking about the kids and wishing I was there when they get out of school, but I'm very thankful to be working (especially in this economy) and paying the bills.

On the flip side, I feel guilty when I get that phone call from school and have to leave early to pick up a sick child. Guilt....can't seem to escape it!! LOL

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2010

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Just like the other moms that replied to this post, I too, have to work to pay bills. Even though I am fortunate to have a wonderful care giver, I still hate leaving her every morning. It feels like after work and dinner, there's barely enough time for my family. On top of that, we are trying to keep her on a good schedule. So I get maybe 2 1/2 hours, 3 tops. It sucks. I steal moments when I can. I call her during the day, her sitter sends me pictures, I put her to sleep at night, and sometimes she even sleeps with us. Anytime that I can steal is worth it.

Nancy - posted on 02/26/2010

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There's not enough time in the day or week to spend with children. I love my family, but in order to pay bills I have to work. I think if my children had it their way my husband and I would be around 24/7 and money would grow on trees. I feel like I can't spend enough time at home, but I also know that the time I do get to spend with them is special. That is what I look at.

Frances - posted on 02/23/2010

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i dont feel guilty bc we need the money and i have to pay bills.. but it kills me to leave him at the baby sitters while i go to work. I wish i could be a stay at home mommy but its just not possible right now.

Mary - posted on 02/23/2010

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It's so hard to be a working mom. Some days I feel guilty. I felt incredible guilt when I first went back to work. It has helped that my daughter loves her day care and the friends she has there (as friendly as an infant can get). However, she still comes first. Last week she was sick and my husband and I split the time we were working so she could get some comfort from her parents. Of course I'm lucky to have a job that allows me to do that. Right now the days I"m working are hard because I wake up with my daughter, feed her, pump, give her solids, then I need to get myself ready and out the door. When I come home there's a limited amount of time to get her her bath and dinner before she's ready for bed, so not much play time. I am working part time which helps.

Katherine - posted on 02/22/2010

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yes, today is my first day back(my daughter is 6 weeks old) and I feel like I am abandoning her, even though she's not even with the sitter until later in the week she's with my finace today, overall I feel like I'm letting her down, and working so hard to be a stay at home mom next year maybe

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