Chrismas Party and Overnighter...leaving baby home with dad?

Iysha - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )




I have a Chrismas Dinner planned for the 18th with my co-workers. It is in a City about a 40 min. drive from my home. I have a co-worker that offered her house to stay at overnight so i don't have to drive home and then drive all the way back in the morning. I would really like to take her offer since i will be drinking anyway and don't want to risk the DUI on the way home...I'm small so 1 drink in 1 hour is enough to get a DUI if I am stopped....but I am real worried about leaving my 5 month old home with her dad. I am worried that he will like, not wake up to feed her at 5 am or something...he's not the lightest sleeper. My mom can watch her too, but I know my Fiance is going to be hurt thinking that I don't think he can handle the baby. I feel a bit irresponsable doing that, but it is one night a year...I never go out and I can't really do this any other time since I have absolutely no girl friends...or friends for that matter.

I don't know what to do...what would you all do?


View replies by

Tricia - posted on 12/18/2009




I agree w/ Mai & Amy - hubby's can handle it - you'd be surprised that when you're not there they know that they are the primary caregiver. Give him a chance. After all he is the babies father and has just as must responsibility as you...

Elaine - posted on 12/18/2009




If your Fiance is the father of your baby, then why would trust be an issue? Do you really don't trust him or do you just feel guilty for leaving your baby for one night? I have felt guilty about leaving my baby to go to a party. Here is the thing, you work hard taking care of your baby. You deserve one night to have fun and take care of you. It is great that your Fiance wants to give you the night off. If he couldn't handle it, he would tell you. Enjoy yourself.

Jessica - posted on 12/18/2009




The baby will be fine! He will probably wake up because he knows that you won't be there to do all the work! Go and have a great time! You deserve it!

Olesya - posted on 12/17/2009




I think if your fiance is willing to take responsibility, let him, but if he's not sure maybe your mom is a better choice. As to feeling guilty and irresponsible, again if everyone is on board and in agreement and it's a one time thing I think it's OK. Moms need their personal time too.

Bradi - posted on 12/17/2009




GO! You love this man enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him, in sickness and in health. If he pledges to take care of you for the rest of your life than he can certainly take care of your baby. It's one night. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Have fun and trust that even if your baby misses one feeding, it won't be the end of the world. Enjoy your holiday!

Precious - posted on 12/17/2009




men complain that they are never given time to bond or participate in their child's care, therefore i would suggest you give him the opportunity to show that the quality of care can just be as good. you do need sometime away with friends, so don't miss this dinner

Alison - posted on 12/17/2009




This cannot be compared to a 4-night trip. It's one night out! Even if he doesn't get the 5:00 am feeding and he cries until 8:00am without being heard (very unlikely), he is with his FATHER. This is not going to scar your child permanently. It sounds like you really need the night out. I would totally do it in your shoes.

Kimberly - posted on 12/17/2009




There is really no reason you can't go. If dad is capable and responsible, then let him do it. Just like kids, you never know what their capable of until they have to do it.

Elisa - posted on 12/16/2009




It really depends on your fiance. If he's generally responsible, then go out. It's important that dads bond with and learn to take care of the children too. Remember that you are setting up a relationship dynamic that will last for years to come. If you always do everything, make all the sacrifices, and expect him to not chip in, he will get used to it and then miss out on a chance to be a full contributor to the family. Make him step up to the plate. If he's good enough to be your fiance, I'll bet he's good enough to be a good care-taker. I bet he surprises you with how well he pulls it off.

Kate - posted on 12/16/2009




Go out and enjoy yourself, its not often we get a night out at all. I understand your anxiety as I have the same with my husband, whats the worse thing that could happen. Baba misses a feed? The fathers need a chance everyonce in a while to handle the baby issues themselves, yes its different from the way we do things. My husband doesnt put Noah down for a sleep till 1.00 on the weekends, with me its 12.00noon. Paul puts Noah to bed in just a nappy - I insist on a pair of shorts (noah will take his nappy off - poo everywhere). Dads just do things differently and we sometimes just have to accept that. Go and have fun it could be another year before you get the chance.

Donna - posted on 12/16/2009




You have to use your own judgment but i will tell you this much, you have to give your finance' credit because if he does good with your baby then give him a chance and make sure he had numbers and if he needs your mom then he can call her. My husband didn't sleep light either but when he knew he needed to get up with the baby then he was very dependable. plus like it was said previously it is a chance for him and the baby to bond. If you need to carry a cell phone and call in 3 to 4 times while your gone to check on him and the baby . Hope this helps.

Tricia - posted on 12/16/2009




At 5 months old, baby is basically at the "appendage" stage. It's like leaving your arm home overnight. Or maybe that's only true of breastfed babies... But when I did a 4 night trip, I just brought hubby and baby as a tandem package. Dad watched munchkin at the hotel while I was busy, and then I went back to the hotel to be with them over night.

Amy - posted on 12/16/2009




Honestly I think that your child will be fine with his/her father. I wake at the slightest sign of anything, when my husband would take our son to his parents so I could sleep our son would "sleep through the night". Honestly, I bet our son was up a few times and he just didn't here him. It didn't hurt our son, he's perfectly fine.

If your worried, use a baby monitor and crank it to the highest setting and set it right next to the bed, also, as mentioned previously an alarm would also help. I don't think you should miss your party if you want to go, as you said it's just one night a year. You could probably use the extra sleep anyway :)

Is he concerned about watching him/her? Have you watched him with him/her? Does he treat him/her like he should be?

[deleted account]

men can handle it they just pretend so they dont have to do anything!jus giv him a few guidelines,maybe set the alarm for 5 so he will get up,(put it in the kitchen)!it will strengthen the bond between them which is a huge gift to give your baby!dont sacrifice going out,u need to relax too!!

Krissi - posted on 12/15/2009




If you are really worried about your baby not being cared for properly, then I would think it would be best not to go. If in doubt- stay home. Or- get your mom to babysit and your fiance can go with you. Your baby is only a baby temporarily- so maybe just wait until next year to go. As parents we make sacrifices and going out is one of them. Good luck.


Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms