Day care Fear

Meaghan - posted on 03/03/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 3 year old son is crying histarically before going to daycare. He does not have any reason to be upset. He has been attending the same sitter for over a year without problems. Please Help!

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Rosheen - posted on 03/12/2009

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Quoting Meaghan:

Day care Fear

My 3 year old son is crying histarically before going to daycare. He does not have any reason to be upset. He has been attending the same sitter for over a year without problems. Please Help!



HI,  MY KIDS WERE IN A DAY CARE FOR 3 YEARS.  I ALSO HAD PROBLEMS WITH THEM GOING TO SCHOOL. 



MY SON IS NOW IN GRADE 1 AND MY DAUGHTER IN PRE-SCHOOL.



IF I COULD OF GIVEN MY SON THE ''PRIVILLAGE'' OF BEING IN THIS SCHOOL BEORE GOING TO GRADE 1 HE WOULD OF BEEN MUCH BETTER OFF



THIS SCHOOL IS LIKE DAY AND NIGHT COMPARE TO THE ONE THEY WERE IN. 



THE TEACHERS ARE NOT CHANGING EVERY 6 MONTHS.



THE ROUTINES ARE THE SAME. 



EVERY TEACHER IS DEDICATED TO TEACHING YOUR CHILD. 



IF THEIR IS A PROBLEM THEY IMMEDIATLEY CONFRONT YOU WHEN YOU COLLECT YOUR CHILD. 



I AM PAYING A BIT MORE AND IT IS HALF DAY, BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT.  A HAPPY CHILD IS A HAPPY MOMMY.



SOMEONE ONCE SAID TO ME, ''LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD''. (EVEN THROUGH CRYING THEY ARE COMMUNICATING) THEY ARE TELLING YOU SOMETHING IS WRONG. 



MAYBE THE SCHOOL HASN'T GOT A STABLE ROUTINE.  KIDS LIKE ROUTINE.  FIND OUT IF ANY CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE OR IF THE CLASS IS BEING CHANGED OR HER FRIENDS ARE NOT AT THE SCHOOL ANYMORE, ANY OF THOSE WILL UPSET THIER ''ROUTINE.''

Antonia - posted on 03/11/2009

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It may be that your son is learning about manipulation.

Lots of kids I've taught at kindy have done the same thing, sometimes they manage to wrap their parents around their lil fingers. Speak to the Carer to see if he is okay once u leave or how long it takes him to settle. You may want to set a drop-off routine with your son, so that it doent feel like u are just leaving him, eg: the keys metioned above sound great, or there may b a fav activity, story book or toy that he could get into every morning

Crystal - posted on 03/06/2009

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I agree, talk with your daycare provider about any changes. I used to do daycare and some of the kids would cry and wail until about a minute after mom left. Could just be an attention stage. Ask your daycare provider how long he cries. And for your peice of mind wait a couple min after you leave and call you daycare and you should be able to hear in the background if he is still crying.

Michele - posted on 03/06/2009

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I have a 5 yr old son. He atended the same daycare for 2 years and then finally started crying in school. The daycare was getting upset and telling me he is misbehaving because he cried. At this point, he never wanted to go to daycare any longer. I took him out of that school and I have never received one complaint about him and he is a happy kid wanting to go to daycare every day. My opinion is something is happeningat that school. Maybe its a new teacher or new rules. Its hard enough to leave our kids while we work, its even worse to KNOW they aren't happy. Suggestion, would be to change schools if you can.

Becky - posted on 03/05/2009

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It is quite common for children to develop seperation fears even after doing something such as day care for a long time. My daughter went through it twice. The most recent being when her little brother started witht he same childminder.



Someone told me that if you have an odd (none used) keys you can make a little bunch up tell your son they are you HOME keys then give them to him to put in his bag to take into daycare/childminders etc. Then they think well mummy/daddy can't get into the house without them so they will be back! When you pick him up ask for the keys back.



Never tried that myself but have been told by a couple of people who have tried it that it works well. I am sure you could substitute the keys with something else, maybe a pretend purse or something.

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I had this problem with my daughter when she was that age.  It was weird though.  She would cry and throw a fit if I dropped her off, but on the rare occasion that my husband dropped her off, she was fine.  Then I knew that she was just trying to get a little more mommy time so I would make the drop off very quick and sweet.  I would put her in the room and her teacher would come over to her.  Then I would say, "Bye sweetie.  Mommy loves you and I'll see you soon."  Then I would turn around and leave without looking back.  It was heartwrenching to hear her screaming and crying for me, but I knew that it was for the best.  I would call the daycare a few minutes later or when I got to work and they always said that she was fine.  In fact, she usually didn't want to leave when I went to pick her up in the evening.  After a couple of weeks, it got better and she was used to the quick goodbye.  Hang in there!

Diane - posted on 03/04/2009

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I used to have a state licensed daycare in my home ..  I agree   sounds like a late separation anxiety.  If there are any routine changes in the daycare  such as staff or new children   that can be hard for them to adjust to!!   In my experience   after Mom leaves   they typically are fine!!  Make sure you tell him you love him and you will see him after work!!   Hopefully things will work out for you and your little one!!!

Sara - posted on 03/03/2009

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It sounds like he is going through some late seperation anxiety. Are there any new children at the daycare? Have there been any changes in the staff. Any small change can upset a small child.

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