Day Care Question...

Sara - posted on 02/26/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 4.5 month old has been in daycare for about a month. We use a provider who runs a licensed day care out of her home, she has a good provider/child ratio and my sister-in-law has used her for her 2 little girls for the past year and loves her. I do think she is a very nice lady, but I'm starting to have doubts and I don't know if it's because I'm just being hypercritical because I hate the fact that I have to take my daughter to daycare, or if I should be concerned. Not too much has happened, just a few small things like once she said that she's been fed, but my daughter is cranky the whole way home and as soon as we get home she eats 10 ounces like it's going out of style. Last week my daughter had a large scrape on her leg, like something that would come from an animal, and nothing was said about it. She doesn't keep up with giving me sheets where she has recorded how much my baby has eaten, or how many wet diapers she's had. I mean, she's a very nice lady and my daughter is always clean and wearing a clean diaper and all that. I guess I just want to know if it's natural to feel so critical and a little untrustworthy as a first time mom. Any thoughts?

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Denise - posted on 03/02/2009

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It's hard to not be critical of the person who gets to hang out with your beautiful baby all day while you have to go to work! We have had some ups and downs with our daycare provider also. The same situation, in a neighbors home. I have found the more I stew about it at home, the more I end up making a big deal out of nothing. I try to remember to ask the same questions every time I pick up our daughter, and if I have a question, I ask her about it the next day. Like for a few days, my daughter didn't nap at daycare. I was frustrated, but the next week I asked her about the current nap time schedule and routine and I felt a lot better after we talked it out.

Just remember to ask lots of questions. You deserve to know exactly what happens. If you don't like the answers, then you have more information to decide if it is still the right place for you.

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I also agree with the others who say follow your gut. There have been too many stories told about stay at home day cares where the provider really didn't provide. I like the set up at the daycare/preschool our kids go to as there are daily reports even for my 3.5 year old. I know what they are doing every day, how much they eat, when they eat, if they went outside, when my youngest was changed and even how long they napped. For any incident there is always an incident report that I have to sign. Another really good thing about the center we go to is that they have the web cameras so I can log on any time of the day and see what my kids are doing. This access is restricted to those who have kids there and then 5 other people/accounts that I choose to inform about so grandparents can also log in to check out my boys. It's good to know this is there because I can always ask questions if I should see something that doesn't look right to me. Someone also said it earlier, stop by at an unexpected time and you may get a better sense of what is really happening at the daycare.
Good luck to you and your daughter.

Heather - posted on 03/02/2009

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I am a directer in a daycare and the girls are right.  We are suppossed to keep you informed on what your child has eaten when she was changed and so forth.  Unless the parents tells us that they don't want it.  Lots of times once they get to be a little over 1 year and are on the normal daycare schedule where they are eating our menu food and sleeping with the other children then we ask the parent if we can stop filling them out because it just gets hard when you are busy on the floor playing with the children and there are lots of children.  Also as far as the scratch there should have been an incedent report filed.  the day care gets a copy for it's files you get a copy and one goes in your childs file with the emergency contact form and stuff.  If you no longer feel comfortable there and your heart tells you there is something not right look into moving to a different place.  When they are so little you definately want to know exactly what is going on.  leaving (I've seen my children come with me) is hard.  It's hard for me to put them in one room and me go to another but our daycare is small enough i can still see them.  Anyway most of my parents tell me it gets easier as you go. 

Michelle - posted on 02/27/2009

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I had a terrible experience with my first sitter and thought maybe my my fears were because I just didn't really want my daughter in daycare. But the little things added up. Mine would also tell me she was fed but she was always starving when I got her home. And then my 3 month old came home with a small bruise on her face. When I asked about it the sitter said it was from my daughter rubbing her face against the sitter's bra strap (through her shirt). When I got her home I found another bruise on the back of her leg. How did a 3 month old that is imobile get bruises (or a scrape for that matter)? So I gave 2 weeks notice and a week later my daughter had a bruise on her back...she never went back to that sitter. I guess the moral of the story is that you have to trust your instints and something that works for your sister-in-law's kids might not be the best for your child. My daughter went to my brother's sitter while we looked for a new one (after the first awful one) and it just wasn't right. My nephew loves it there but there were just too many kids and not enough structure for my daughter. Every kid is different and only you can interpret for them. Good luck. Hope you find a sitter that works for you and your daughter.

Sarah - posted on 02/27/2009

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i work in a daycare in CT and we are required by state regulations for all children under 3 years to keep a notebook on every child that says what they ate, their diaper changes and their naps, along with the times of all that. Also if there are any incidents that result in a mark on the child, a scratch, bruise, whatever, we are required to write a report on it. this is also a national standard so if she is licensed she should be doing this.

Brydget - posted on 02/27/2009

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Is your baby breast or formula fed? I was warned that my bubs would want to fed lots from the breast when she had a chance to help keep my milk supply up and to expect that the moment I get her home she would be all feed me feed me.

Jamie - posted on 02/26/2009

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It's natural to be concerned about leaving your child with a daycare provider.  When my daughter started daycare I was a mess, I felt like no one could take care of her as good as I could, but after a few weeks I did get past it and I trust her daycare, and her teachers.  If you feel like she is not getting the best care, and you are having trust issues, or concerns you should find another daycare.   When you leave your daughter  you should not have to worried or wonder about her being feed and changed when its needed, you should feel comfortable knowing she is in good hands.  If it were me, I would find a daycare that keeps track of feedings, changings and any accidents that happen in the center.   At the end of the day when you pick up your daughter it is good to know, when and how much she ate, when she was changed, and if  she would have a scratch...you should be told where and how it came about.

Grace - posted on 02/26/2009

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It sounds like overall she is doing her job.  You have to keep in mind that she has multiple children to watch over and yours unfortunately may not always be #1.  I know how you feel because I had to put my son in daycare since he was 6 weeks old and it broke my heart to leave him with strangers.  I can tell you is follow your gut insticts.  If you feel like she isn't giving you the service you believe your daughter should be getting then by all means pull her out.  Drinking 10 ounces of milk at once isn't unheard of, she could be going through a growth spurt.  It seems that you had good references and she is keeping her safe.  Scrapes will happen especially as they learn how to crawl,walk etc.



What I do and maybe you could give it a shot is I call three times a day (morning,noon & afternoon). Also, if your schedule permits try to drop by without her knowing you are coming and really observe how you find things and whats going on. 



Good luck!

Jen - posted on 02/26/2009

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It's not required for them to provide you with feedback, but they really should. My daughter's day care does want their teachers to give feedback sheets on all the kids, but when my daughter moved to the 1-year-old room they stopped and when I told them about it they fixed the problem for about a 2 week period and now I'm back to nothing. It is frustrating. I was there a few months ago after my daughter transitioned to the 1 year-old-room. Make sure you talk to the provider about your concerns. Also give it some time. I gave myself a month and that's all it took for me and my daughter to get used to the new environment. My daughter cried everyday for a month when she moved after never crying when I left her in the infant room. It's hard to leave knowing your daughter isn't happy, but we both grew out of it.



As for the scratch. I don't know if home day cares have the same rules, but they should have filled out an accident report even after the fact. I picked my daughter up one day and she had been bitten by another child and they couldn't tell me when it happened and didn't even notice until I pointed it out. My aunt who is a school teacher told me that they should have still filled out an accident report to notify me even though I was the one to discover it.



As for your daughter eating so much. She could just be going through a growth spurt. MOst day care teachers set up a schedule for the kids as to who gets fed when. My daughter's infant teacher kept a notebook with everyone's schedule so that if a sub. was in there on her day off they knew who ate and slept at what time. They used to put my daughter to bed last as she got older becuase she would stand up and wake the other 3 babies after she was awake. They try to stick to a schedule so that everyone is happy.



I know that was a lot of info. I hope at least some of it helped. Good luck.

Tammy - posted on 02/26/2009

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It is natural to be a little apprehensive about leavingyour child with a stranger, but you should also listen to your gut.  My advise is communication.  ASk about the incidents as soon as you can, and see what kind of reaction you get.  There could be reasonable explanations but you should ask and trust your gut.  Any good childcare provider should be willing to answer your questions.

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