Day Care worries

Ashley - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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So I have people to watch him for a little while when I go back to work but, it looks like until I have my next child I have to put my son in day care. Money would be super tight otherwise. I found this academy place by my house that is wonderful. Great people, loving environment, great location but, expensive. I just know when I drop him off there my first day of work I'm going to be sobbing the whole drive in and probably the whole day. I need some support ladies that this is going to be okay and that I'm making a good choice.

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Imogen - posted on 07/27/2009

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Think of all the friends he will make and all the fun things he will do there. Its a necessity but can be a very positive experience for them giving them confidence and a wider outlook on life.

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2009

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Of course you'll be sobbing! We all did the first day (or two or three)! It was one of the hardest things I had to do. To reiterate what the others have said, be sure you are fully satisfied with the daycare and the teacher(s) and I'm sure all will be okay. My 3 1/2 year old daughter has been in daycare since she was 4 months old and has done beautifully there. It has provided her with a social network that she never would have gotten at home. Not to mention the fact that she knew how to stand in line and wait her turn by the time she was 20 months old! No matter whether you have to work or can stay at home, your child will always know who his mother is and no one will ever be able to fill that role for you!

Michele - posted on 07/22/2009

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Ashley,

You are doing this by necessity, not choice. It will get easier each passing day. Remember, your child can sense what you are feeling. Put on that brave face and think positive thoughts. Best of luck to you

~Michele

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Your kid(s) will thank you in the future for having them socialize with other kids in a controlled environment. Yes, academies are expensive, but get this- my kids were learning spanish words at 18 months, and using the MOUSE on the laptop- all taught in daycare. they will learn independence and will be able to adapt to several social situations a lot easier, not to mention that they will build immunities to all those germs they'll be swapping with one another. Daycare is good for them, and then you'll be able to appreciate your time with them more. Good luck, it's hard at first.

Kathy - posted on 07/27/2009

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Hi Ashley, My name is Kathy and I am a mom of three 24 years old, 20 years old and 4 years. My older two were never in day care unless I worked there. I figured if I needed to work and did not want to worry then I decided to get in the child care field. My youngest however, has been in child care for 2 years. And I did cry. There are alot of good day care facilities out there that will not cost you an arm and a leg. The very first thing I did was go on my local social services/ government site and got a llist of day cares. I then checked in the files for any complaints such as child abuse neglect and so on. Your local government site is a wonderful tool. I love the child care facility he is in and have had no mjor issues.

Jill - posted on 07/27/2009

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Unfortunately this is a necessity for you as it is for me! My recommendation is listen to your gut. Make sure you are choosing the daycare that you instinctively are comfortable with. But also be wise and call the State to make sure there are no complaints filed against them. And do unexpected drop ins.
What helped me most with that first day is that I had a few couple hour visits for Sean there and to make sure when I picked him up he was happy, clean, etc. It gave me a chance to see how they would treat him, communicate with me and then when that first full day came...I pretended I was just dropping him off for a few hours...that at least held off the tears for a little bit.

Radha - posted on 07/25/2009

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Hi Ashley,
Michele is right you have to put on a brave face. I am in the process of doing the same thing. It is soooo hard to leave them, especially when they are crying for you. Everyone keeps telling me that it will be okay. I have no choice but to believe them...and I do. Good luck to you!

Carmen - posted on 07/24/2009

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Trust me everything going to be ok,he going to have friends, playmate, and even he going to learn alot think for his little friends and teachers. Is going to be hard but is the best you can do and he going to enjoy play with other kids his age. Good Luck my friend.

Meredith - posted on 07/24/2009

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I actually had paid a deposit for a daycare by myself that I was not completely happy with and the week before I was to go back to work I found out that I had a spot at the daycare near my work that was actually run by my work. Boy was I glad! I cried as we were walking in, cried while I was there, and cried in the parking lot, but I wore sunglasses and had my husband with me. The daycare even emailed me pictures the first day so I knew my baby was okay. It is okay. Sometimes it's nice to be able to drop her off and go to work. I truly mean that...LOL

User - posted on 07/24/2009

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I feel for you! I am in the same boat. I need to go back to work in a month. I just keep focusing on the time that we have had together and that some moms are not that lucky.
Also, someone who offers spiritual support told me something that bring me some relief, she said, "you are not the only person who can love and will love your daughter". And once my husband and I started interviewing I found a woman who I can just tell will fall in love with my Juniper =)

Lalita - posted on 07/23/2009

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Hey Ashley I work in a daycare and have for 18 years. I actually work with Infant 1 kids and I know it the hard thing to do and me as a parent and as a teacher understands. But what I do for my parents is throughout the day when I know they may be feeling down and stuff is send them picture mail through the day of how their child is doing. Get to know your child teacher and be one on one with them. I understand you are supposely talk to the office management team but you must realize that the teacher is the one that going to be with your child most of the day. Also alot of daycare these days have web cam were you can actually watch your child of video all day. Also children at young age can tell you if something is not good that means all with parents and teachers. So listen to them okay and they will tell you all.

Jill - posted on 07/23/2009

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It is definately hurting you more than your son. The socializing with other kids will be good for him.

Richelle - posted on 07/23/2009

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Ashley,

Dont worry sweety, I know its hard!!! I was skeptical about daycares too at first but I also had no other choice. Now I wouldnt go back, my daughter loves her daycare she has learned soooo much there. She learns from the older kids! She talks more than other kids her age and she socializes really well. She is also well behaved because of the structure of the daycare. Now you have to be careful which daycare you put your child in. This is Rylie's 2nd daycare, the daycare I 1st put her in was messy, cluttered and very unorganized. She was always sick and wasnt that happy.

Janet - posted on 07/23/2009

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I went through the same thing, and you will cry again when he starts school. I am a daycare provider and have been for 16 years. Take comfort that usually within 5 minutes of your leaving your provider will have him occupied and should be encouraging him, loving him and comforting him. I used to hide outside the door of my sons preschool as he would sob and hang on me at drop-off. After the teacher took him in she would hug him a little and then he was fine. Believe me, it is harder on you than on him.

Stephenie - posted on 07/23/2009

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Its going to be hard the first time and maybe for the first week...but know all the good things that are going to come out of it. My twins were just turning 2 when i had to put them in daycare and they SCREAMED the first couple of days when we left...after we were gone daycare said like ten minutes after we left the boys were fine...now my youngest doesn't get to experience that because he has been at daycare since 3 months and he loves going. My boys are learning so much at daycare, we call it school. hang in there those blues will go away

Barbara - posted on 07/22/2009

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I was very upset when I had to go back to work and send my child to daycare. My child is now 2 1/2 yrs, and I love the daycare she is attending. The teachers are so caring, and she has learned so much, and she is understanding what it is to share, and play respectfully with other children. She actually likes to go to her school. My daughter is an only child. I am lucky that their are only 6 kids in her class, with two fulltime teachers always attending to the kids. I pay a very pretty price, but it is worth every penny.

Ginny - posted on 07/22/2009

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Hi Ashley - not sure of the date of your post, but that first day bites, I'll give you that. I never thought I'd cry, I mean, like Michele said, it's out of necessity, and I did alright when I handed my daughter off, but by the time I made it to the front door, I was sobbing like a baby myself! It really does get easier...and although daycare is tough, it actually does have its benefits for our kids (hard to believe, but it's true). In any event, do one thing for yourself...just because a center is "expensive", check it out thoroughly. Expensive doesn't always mean best. Check on line reviews, learn of the center's turn over rate(s), etc. All the best! Ginny

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