Do other people feel this way??????

Kayla - posted on 01/13/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I work all day. When I get up in the morning. I just want to get ready and go to work. I mean yeah I can still ma a couple of kisses from my 2 month old. But I don't wanna sit there for an hour and play with her and feed her and change her diaper and make my self late for work. Then while Im at work I miss her so much...I call the sitter like 10 times a day.
Then when I get home I love love love her. but then I get super frustrated b/c I want to cook supper, I have laundry and I have dishes, bathroom dirty, and of course baby is crying. Please keep in mind that my husband helps me tons. but I get so mad( not at her) just the fact that I am absolutely obligated to stop everything I am doing b/c she needs me. And then in the same since it really cool that she needs me. Don't get me wrong she is a really good baby, sleeps all nite already and everything.
What the heck is wrong with me.

19 Comments

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Domino121 - posted on 01/16/2009

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Wearing your babe might be great for both of you. At 2 months she needs to be close to you, but being a working mother you need to get things done. Hope things feel better soon!

Louise - posted on 01/14/2009

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i have always been a working mum, my son is 14 and daughter who is 12, i know how you feel but it does get easier honestly, and the children benefit more from the time you do spend with them and makes them more aware of the real world. you are doing a great job, just remember you are only one person and can only do so muchxxxx

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009

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NOTHING ! You are just used to being able to do everything, I AM SO THE SAME WAY ! But i learned to let go .. Pick one or 2 things that need to be done around the house, and try to do them.. I hired someone to come over 1x a week and clean .. Sounds expensive its not and its worth it .. I do the laundry and babies room and they do everything else. Put an ad up on Craigs List and definitly call referneces and background check them because it is your home and baby's home. Being a mommy is the hardest job ever.. Maybe plan meals for the week on Sunday - Freeze them and as soon as you walk in the door put them in the oven and then start to unwind - so at least that is done first... It gets easier my son is 8 mths old now and we have a awesome system :)

Courtney - posted on 01/13/2009

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! It's very hard at first, it seems as if you can't even wipe your own butt without the constant attention of your little one. My daughter is 7 months old and in the beginning I didn't work. Now I actually work at night and take care of the baby during the day (my husband watches her at night). It does get easier, just enjoy this time because they grow so fast! Good Luck!

Traci - posted on 01/13/2009

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I know exactly what your saying...I am a single mother of a 2 year old and i am also a fully time Sailor!!!! Military life is very hard but I have come up with a plan that has worked great for me!!! I work from about 7am to 3-5pm my daughter has to be picked up from daycare no later than 5:30pm. So the days I get off early through out the week I run home and pick up a bit and start cooking...this is a monday thru Friday routine...then on Saturday it is just me and my daughter doing whatever we want (providing I don't have duty/work) and on sundays its my day to clean. I have a house that I can clean top to bottom in like 2 -3 hours non stop cleaning...the only reason it only takes that long is I keep it just picked up through out the week...sunday is my sweep, mop, vaccum, ect day and I do it while she is sleeping...I hated it whe people said it can wait one more day b/c it seemed that day never came but my firiend mentioned to me the other day she felt bad b/c she never spent time with her kids like I do with lizzy b/c she was always cleaning and cooking and laundry ect...and I kind of just said you know what...if the bathroom is messy and the laundry needs to be done...it can wait until sunday...b/c sunday always comes around...just set up a schedule that works for you...don't try and clean your whole house at once...just do it one room a day and i promise things will get much eaiser when they get older:) good luck hun.

Amanda - posted on 01/13/2009

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I know exactly how you feel. And if one more person says that "stuff" can wait til tomorrow I want to scream. Yes it can, BUT then there is more on top of it. I hate that at the end of the night I always feel guilty. Its either because I did spend time with my baby and didn't work on housework or its because I chose the housework and did not spend time with her.

Elena - posted on 01/13/2009

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I agree it is definitly hard to be a working mom and take care of the kids, the house etc...  The best advice I have gotten is to make time for yourself every week, an hour or even a half hour.  You need it and deserve it!!!!  and if you can afford too, get a maid as well.  I am looking into getting one for myself as well becasue the house work never goes away and piles up!!

Heather - posted on 01/13/2009

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You are completely normal.  I think we have all gone through this.  I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old.  And unfortunately the  balancing act doesn't get any easier.  I HIGHLY recommend a cleaning lady if you both work full time.  At least then you know your floors and bathrooms are getting cleaned regularly abnd it is one less thing to play on your guilt!  I love being home with my kids on those "special" days and i miss them dearly while I am at work.  But I like my job too.  I have found some balance by dropping to 90% and having everyother Monday off.  It helps to give me a little extra time with my little ones while taking a minimal hit to our income.  Good luck, try to find that balance but it takes a little while for everyone to adjust to mommy going back to work.

Heather - posted on 01/13/2009

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You are completely normal.  I think we have all gone through this.  I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old.  And unfortunately the  balancing act doesn't get any easier.  I HIGHLY recommend a cleaning lady if you both work full time.  At least then you know your floors and bathrooms are getting cleaned regularly abnd it is one less thing to play on your guilt!  I love being home with my kids on those "special" days and i miss them dearly while I am at work.  But I like my job too.  I have found some balance by dropping to 90% and having everyother Monday off.  It helps to give me a little extra time with my little ones while taking a minimal hit to our income.  Good luck, try to find that balance but it takes a little while for everyone to adjust to mommy going back to work.

Carrie - posted on 01/13/2009

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OMG she is 2 mths old and your back to work???? My daughter is 6 and I had a 1yr mat leave back then to be with her. Sorry I am not helping matters, long story short I don't think anything is wrong with you at all...I work all day and my 6 yr old is on my mind all day....whats she doing, is she ok, hows she like school that day and are there any bullies on her playground bugging her???

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I think almost every mother goes through this.  You work, your a wife, your a mom and you forget who you are.  I know it's hard, but try to find sometime through the week for YOU time.  My boys are 6 and 4 and a total handful, but 3 times a week I am able to get away for a couple of hours in the evening and be me.  I have a wonderful husband that helps make it possible, I joined the roller derby team in my town.  I am able to talk to other women laugh and burn off some steam.  For some that may seem  a little extreme, but it works. Just don't forget to be YOU.

Susan - posted on 01/13/2009

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you're completely normal...It takes alot out of you when you have to wear 100 hats at one time

Kayla - posted on 01/13/2009

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I face her in. I have not tried out. Although, my carrier may not be comfortable for facing out. She is so little. That thing is kinda big. It swallows her whole. I will try it though.

Heather - posted on 01/13/2009

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Which way do you wear her? Facing in or out? Our son loves to be facing out - this way he gets to see all the action.

Kayla - posted on 01/13/2009

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Thank yall so much. I have a baby carrier also. But she always falls asleep in it. I hate for her to sleep all the time. Then she wont get any sleep at nite.

Heather - posted on 01/13/2009

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Nothing is wrong with you. You (like me) work all day. We are "on" from the moment we get up, all day at the office, and all evening at home. The only down time we get is when we sleep and even then it is with one ear open.



I don't know that this will help, but I feel the same way at times. My husband is a tremendous help too, but sometimes I'd rather scrub that darn toilet and cook dinner. And would he please just sit with the baby for 10 minutes so I can catch my breath? Being "on" all the time is hard work and very tiring.



Try not to beat yourself up because you are not alone with your feelings. I try to keep reminding myself that this absolute need for me (and it is me, from the moment I walk in the door after work until he goes to bed) will be over before I know it and then I will be wondering what happened to my baby boy.



I like the suggestion that was given about wearing your baby. My husband and I both have carriers and we love them. We might just under utilize them. Tonight...I am wearing the boy when he gets cranky and maybe, just maybe I'll get to scrub a toilet or two...

Brandy - posted on 01/13/2009

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You are not the only one going throught this. I have two kids one is 7 and one is a year. I went back early with both of them, my oldiest was 6 months and with the youngest she was 3 months. I like going to work it is my get away and adult conversation but miss them when I am at work. I try so hard to get everything done and forget sometimes to just spend a minute with them before bed. My husband is on the road alot, i try to get what i can done when they are sleeping, which means longer nights for me but it allows me to get that one on one time. does not work all the time but we try to keep a routine. Luck on the sleeping through the night my little girl still gets up once or twice.

Valerie - posted on 01/13/2009

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Totally understandable.  Have you tried baby wearing while you do housework?  I have a 2-year-old and a 3-week-old and that is the only way I get anything done.

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