feeling so guilty each day because i am a working mom

Heba - posted on 05/24/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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i have never stayed at home, always go back to work after 3 months from having baby delivery, when my children were younger, i used to feel guilty leaving them with their grandparent each morning. today they are at school, so i still feel guilty because when they come from school, they did not find me waiting for them at home.

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G - posted on 05/27/2009

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I used to own a Web Design firm, for 11 years and thought that I would be a working mom. The definition has changed so much for me. I too work from home now for a company that pays me extremely well and I get to spend my time with my 7 month old daughter. I do better now than I did as an owner, but the most important thing is that I am a present mommy. When I started working for this company it was just to make a couple hundred extra. In a year I was able to match my "professional" income. There are so many companies out there like the one I work with, I would encourage you to take a look at some of them and give them a chance. I was a direct selling scoffer until I actually gave it a chance FOR my baby. Now I could not be happier. Honestly it is worth sticking your neck out there to find a company that works for you so that you can stay home with your kids.

[deleted account]

I went back to work part time when my daughter was 2 weeks old which was very hard but with my husband being layed off I had too. Luckily I can work part time and still have the same income as being full time. But everyday that I do work its hard leaving her but I know I'm doing it all for her. I could never be a stay at home mother, most of the ones I do know have nothing to do but start trouble! At least I know that I am contributing to my family, taking care of my daughter and setting a good example for her. And working makes me more "aware" of who I am missing when I am at work and I now have a purpose for working other than for myself. I can splurge on her and give her what she wants and needs w/o having to sacrifice the necessities. Yes I miss her and feel guilty leaving but I also need to be around other adults, then when I go home I appreciate her that much more!

[deleted account]

I am a working mum to. I have a 20 month daughter who is lovely but it is hard as i have to leave her with the childminder during the week and my husband at weekends. I do shift work which is hard as i am often out in the evenings and weekends and my husband has to fill in. i always feel guilty but we need the money. i cant expect my husband to pay for everything.

Marlène - posted on 05/27/2009

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I am a part time working mum, lucky enough not to have to work more. But I must say, even if I love my kids, I am happy to go to work. Because when you work every day, you feel like you're missing something on their day, that you haven't done enough for them. But for a long while, I stayed only at home and believe me, it's tough too. Because they get used to your presence and they manage to ask for your time and attention as much as they can. And I don't know about you but I was not trained in children care in any way so when during the day, you go to the park, then play a bit inside with toys, playdoh and do some painting, it's all over again the next day, and the next, and... So finding other ways around your routine to keep them interested in the long run is a job in itself. And yes you have fun moments and great time, but you also find yourself thinking : what do I do next ? Without having the answer...

Katherine - posted on 05/26/2009

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My eldest was 9mths and my youngest was 11mths when I went back to work fulltime. I felt so guilty even though I'd spent a huge amount of time with them compared to you. I hated leaving them with daycare even though my daycare mum was fantastic. My kids are now 7 & 3 and I now work 3 days at my Uni job and 2 days from home around my 3yo. I just got to the point where I needed to look for an alternative source of income because it was driving me crazy not being able to get to school events, assemblies and my daughter was begging me to do canteen duty. I think you need to weigh up what you really want your life to look like. Do you really have to stay in the same job? There are heaps of work from home opportunities and lots of them are genuine. Good luck.

Katherine - posted on 05/26/2009

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I went back to work when my first daughter was 9mths and again when my second daughter was 12mths. I consider myself lucky that I got so much time with them, but I also wish that I'd had more. I hated having someone else look after them when they were little. My kids are now 7 and 3 and I've just started working from home 2 days per week. Loving it. I can work around my 3 yo but still get to spend time with her.

Kristine - posted on 05/25/2009

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Yes, it is definitely hard to be at work when you could be spending time with your child. It is also true that you do work to provide for your children though so you do also have to think of it that way.



Have you ever thought of starting your own business? You could build up your income so you could have more time with your child. Maybe you could do daycare or you have a knack for making things and your could sell them. You could also choose to work for yourself but partner with another company who pays you. I have been partnered with a company for 5 years and I love who they are and what they do for people. They are very ethical in their business practices. The compensation plan is simple and make a lot of sense too. If you enjoy helping other people while also helping yourself then you would do awesome with this company as well. If you would like to know more, just let me know and I will be happy to get you all the details. Many people have been able to come home with their children by doing this and you could too.



You can contact me at:



608-524-3441 or kakjmk@yahoo.com



or you can request info from one of my websites:

www.workathomeunited.com/mybiz

or

www.livetotalwellness.com/mybiz

and I will be happy to give you a call at one of your most convenient times

Julia - posted on 05/25/2009

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If push comes to shove, Mom or Dad can take the reigns by the hand and do what it takes to provide for our children.......A good work ethic is not a bad thing in this economy it's almost required...I've always tried to work around my girls as much as possible and do some quality things with them, like camping, fishing, hiking, boating, singing, playing instruments, hopefully to add biking to the many things that we do together......Balance, is always good...and Grandparent time is a precious gift that most grandmothers appreciate and adore....they know how fleeting the moments can be and they may be trying to recapture the time they didn't have with you and what a wonderful thing....Everyone is doing and growing as need be....Never feel guilty for where you are in life....If your mom was able to stay home with you, then you know how much you appreciated that time, and you will make all your moments quality on behalf of knowing....I have felt guilt for not being home to dress my girls like the princesses that I know they want to be.....but when I'm off work, I help them dress and I have found a way to be a part of that, by getting an outfit ready for everyday of the week...Hang in there and put a different spin on things..;)

Esther - posted on 05/25/2009

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I'm a working mom too and there are days when I hate it. Not really out of guilt though. More out of a "selfish" (for lack of a better word) desire to be with my son since he's soooooo much more fun than my boss ;) However, my son is thriving, he loves his daycare, he loves his teachers, the kids in his class etc. He's benefitting greatly from the songs they sing, the books they read, the interaction with the other kids etc. And when he needs me I'm there. If he has even the slightest fever, I stay home with him, when he was extra cranky because of teething, I kept him with me. I am very lucky in that my job allows me to do this (on those days I'm allowed to work from home) but it does make me feel better knowing he wants for nothing. Also, I have a younger brother who was adopted and has various psychological issues that took pretty much all of my parents time and attention when I was growing up. However, I always knew without a doubt that if I needed something, my parents would be there for me. Even if they couldn't physically be there for me every minute of the day, if push came to shove they would be right there and just knowing that was enough for me. I became a very independent person because I usually didn't want to bother my parents with little problems I had that I could solve myself. And I had the confidence to solve them myself because I had a back-up plan - my parents. That's what I try to be for my son. I want him to be independent, confident, self reliant, but know that if push comes to shove, he can ALWAYS count on mom.

Jessica - posted on 05/25/2009

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It is really hard and you do want to be there with them but at the end of they day you are working for them so that they can have food warmth and shelter.

I too would much rather be at home when my son gets in from school. I would love to sit with him and have afternoon tea get homework done and then have some fun time before having to start on the evening meal. It would be so great but then I wouldn't be able to afford to give him the things he needs or any of the things he wants.

It's hard being a working mother but unfortunately lots of us have no choice. I am sure our children will understand.

Thandiwe - posted on 05/25/2009

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breaks my heart everyday when i leave my house at 6 to get to work. I would like to be there when she wakes up... then i can make everything ok. Y do they have to suffer???

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