Getting back into work & Juggling the mom thing...not as easy as I thought!

Angela - posted on 02/06/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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The first 2 weeks I went back to work were great, my daughter woke up happy despite having to be woken up, went happily to daycare and was overall just a happy camper. Work was going well, it was actually quite nice to have my work brain operating again and I was getting the best of both worlds...being a mom and being back in my career. I am lucky to work 7:30-3:30pm Mon-Fri (with some travel, weekends and evenings) and get lots of time with my daugher Olivia before she heads to bed.



Then my husband and I were in a wedding in Cuba and my daughter went to Florida with grandma and grandpa...we were gone 1 week but she was gone for 2 weeks....so when I got home from vacation I had a wee of work without having my daughter and now we are back into our first week and it has felt like a month. Work is crazy hectic, it is my 4th week back and I have already accumulated over 50 hours of lieu....I am tired and exhausted and can't fathom that this is what my life is going to be like...granted....I am still lucky as my daughter is an angel and is great 90% of the time with very minimal and easily dealt with spurts of temper...but I hate feeling exhausted before I even get to her and it just so happens that my husband is often not home in the evening until after she has gone to bed so by 7pm when she is in bed, I too and ready for bed.



I am hoping that this is just a phase...I think I was spoiled my first two weeks back as it was slow and I was given time to just soak up what has been done over the last year and now I am back into the nitty gritty of it and hopefully I will just adjust and won't be so exhausted.



I would love to know how other mom's cope with going back to work and juggling children, home, finances, cleaning, cooking, etc.?? I guess I never truly realized or appreciated how hard it was until I was in it!

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Sara - posted on 03/03/2009

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Amen sister! You have to go easy on yourself though, you aren't superwoman here! I try to do the bare minimum to keep my house from being a disaster area during the week. But, i figure that the dishes will be there for me later, so if I don't feel like doing them, I don't do them! It is really hard to work and juggle home life. Being a mom, boss, coworker and wife leaves you with little time to yourself. I think you just have to take it one day at a time and do what you need to do on a daily basis to keep your sanity! I figure that it must get easier, or else you don't notice it as much, because so many people do it and are successful at it. Do you have any help where you live? Family? Friends? People you would feel comfortable asking for help from if you need it? I think building a strong support system is the key. Maybe there's a working mom's group you could join in your area too (if you have time!), usually those are a great resource for helping you not feel so alone when you're in the the thick of it! Good luck, we could all use it!

Angela - posted on 03/02/2009

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Thanks everyone,



I appreciate the comments and suggestions. I just spent the last two weeks quite sick and had no choice but to slow down and take care of myself....my perceptions have changed. You are all right in that priorties need to be set....family before chores:) And having talked to my husband about it has made a big difference, he is now much more aware and takes on more than he has been in the past to help out!! Hopefully it will last....we shall see:)

Jennifer - posted on 02/09/2009

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Hi Angela,



Going back to work is a big adjustment and it takes a while to build a routine.  I recently went back to work after my second child and I hear what you are saying - Kids bedtime 7pm, Mom's bedtime 7:05 :)



 



The best advice I got was to be realistic about my expectations.  Everything won't be perfect.  And that's ok.  Try to simplify where you can (easy meals/cooking on weekends/cleaning products that save you work).  Say no at work when you can and don't be afraid to ask for help.



And take care of yourself.  If you are exhausted, put your feet up and rest.  You'll be the better for it the next day.



Good Luck!

Angela - posted on 02/09/2009

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Thanks everyone,



I thought a lot over the weekend and realized that last week was just a bad week...too hectic at work and it happened to be a week that my husband had to work late every night....not good timing but I have come to realize that I love my job and am happy to be back to work and I am lucky...my daughter loves the daycare (and so do I ) and I am off everyday at 3:30pm...and I am very fortunate that I can work flex hours whenever I need to and I too Friday afternoon off and left my daughter at daycare and got the groceries and some cleaning done before picking her up and I think that is the key...I can get so much more done when she is not there (and I don't feel guilty about it).



Thanks for the advice and empathy...it is nice to have a place to write my thoughts down in and get support and help in different problems:)

Angie - posted on 02/08/2009

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Household chores can wait, your kids won't - they will be 18 and out of the house before you know if. And kids take over your ome, whether you like it or not, there's always toys in the living room, bathroom etc. Enjoy it, don't fight it - I have decided that while my house is my castle, it's tidiness doesn't define who I am. I want my daughter to remember when we danced, colored etc. Not all the times that Mom was in the bathoom/kitchen cleaning!! We don't get this time back, spend as much time being a kid with your kid!



I have my husband spend 4 hours every weekend with our daughter which gives me time to clean and make calls if I need to. It's important to have that "me" time too.

Kristy - posted on 02/07/2009

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my life is pretty crazy right now i have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and i work nightshift 530-1:00am and my hubby work from 730 to 5 so he gets home i leave then i have to wake up with the kids in the morning im exausted and i never see my hubby besides a bit on wekends im going crazy im stressed out but i have to work need the money

User - posted on 02/07/2009

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hi

I have two little grls and have not stopped working,we had just bought our first home before I found out I was preqnant,so had no choice but to carry on working.(thank god for mother- in -law)It is very hard ,I have learned not worry if the house is not spotless,the girls are more important,a little bit of dirt wont bother them ,just leaves you with too much stress.If you are calm then they will be and you will spend a good amount of good quality time with them.My best purchase was a dishwasher,saved so much on the arguments(less stress) .I work child friendly hours now they are at school ,so I can collect them from school which givesme the chance to meet their friends mums.The best advice get yourself into a routine and stick with it (less stress)

[deleted account]

I understand how hard it is.  This is how I cope with "having it all".  I realize that I like my job, I am good at what I do I am teaching my children that a mom can love her children with her whole heart and work outside the home.  If I don't get the dishes done so what, I enjoy and relish every moment with my kids. In my opinion house work can wait kids can't.  I hope that helps.

Christina - posted on 02/06/2009

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I have an 11-month old daughter and I went back to work when she was almost 4 months old.  I have a couple of suggestions for you.



When I first went back to work, we opted to have a nanny.  She came to our house each day.  In addition to taking care of our daughter, she did some light housework and cooking which helped tremendously.  That was great, but then we moved to a different state and we just weren't able to find another person like the one we had.  So now my daughter goes to a regular day care in our neighborhood.  I adjusted my work schedule a bit to keep up with the house work, but still have enough time to spend with my daughter.  Not sure if you have the flexibility to do this, but I've been doing it for about a month and it's been ok.  I work 9 hour days Mon through Thurs and then work a half day on Friday.  For those couple hours I have on Friday while my daughter is still at day care, I do household chores. 



I noticed that I can get twice as many chores done when my daughter is not home.  So sometimes my husband takes my daughter to the library for a couple hours on Saturday morning and I could get ahead with chores, finances, cooking, etc.  Since he works later during the week than I do, it gives him the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with his daughter.

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