Going back to work in 2 weeks and kinda afraid to leave him at home alone with dad...

Danielle - posted on 03/10/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Ok, I know the title sounds way worse than it is, but I am just very nervous. He is a great father, but 1st time father of a newborn. He has been in my older daughters life since she was a toddler. He gets very discouraged fast! He freaks out when our 8wk old cries and he can't figure out why... He always seems to confort him in the long run though, I just cant stand it when my baby cries and I know he will do some crying with me gone.... Is this normal? help

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Colleen - posted on 03/15/2009

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I think the only way for everyone to adjust is by just doing it!  My fiance is home with my son while I am at work.  He gets frustrated very easily but seems to manage anyways.  I think it is good for both of them to have that time together.  Not every father/child gets that opportunity.  It kindof forges a stronger bond, in a good way. 



I understand you about not wanting the baby to cry, but he probably will.  My fiance says that the baby is upset for about 30 minutes after I leave, but then chills out.  As soon as I walk through the door he fusses again.  I always tell my fiance that if he feels like he is getting too frustrated he should just put the baby in his crib, shut the door and let him cry.



I won't lie, the first couple months will be really tough for you, but atleast you don't have to put your baby in daycare.  Good Luck!

Jill - posted on 03/15/2009

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My husband will be home with our 11 month old for the rest of my parental leave (5 weeks). We are two weeks in and things are going much more smoothly now. Lily had to adjust to different parenting and Mike had to adjust himself too. Prior to me returning to work, Mike was impatient especially with the crying and her fussiness at meal times and he often reacted with raising his voice or pulling the.."fine, sit there and starve" bit while she cried. I hated that, but took it in stride. When he walked away I would calmly take over. I was very nervous that he would be that way for most of the time but he has quickly learned that she doesn't respond well to that and also the bonding time that they have now has made them more patient and tolerant of eachothers behaviours. Now I sometimes feel that I'm budding in on them when I get home from work! It has also given Mike a much better understanding of what my life was like for the past 10 and a half months!

She still prefers me when she's really upset, but now she will go to Daddy too. Don't worry...let the two of them work it out and fall into a routine...they just have to get used to each other. Enjoy going back to work!! It's great!

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What a beautiful picture! Big sis looks so proud. But anyway, you'd be surprised what daddys can do :) It's perfectly normal to be nervous about anyone other than you, including daddy, watching your newborn. My suggestion to make you both feel a little better is do a 'test run' one day. Go out for a few hours, grocery shopping or other errands, and let the two or three of them have each other at home. When he's left on his own without you to help he'll have no choice but to handle it. They'll be fine. If he is the type that gets discouraged easily, do not criticize how he does something, or question why he does something if it causes no harm to the baby. Moms and dad have different parenting styles and as long as it doesn't cause any physcial or emotional harm, then it's all good.



Good luck to you!

Cassydy - posted on 03/13/2009

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This is normal but trust and believe that later on down the road you are going to want to leave him with his dad and you will not think twice or feel bad about it.

Ana Maria - posted on 03/11/2009

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It is normal.. but let tmem be. They will figure it out. Don't force your parenting style since kids enjoy the differences. Muy husband was laid off and has been taking care of our 8 months baby for 5 months now..and he has been the best daddy ever. This time will go fast and your baby will enjoy the time is spending with daddy

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That is totally normal. every person is different and has a different stye of doing things. Does he spend a lot of time with the baby without you being there now? That might help with the transistion.

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