Having only one child

Andrea - posted on 08/18/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

7

31

1

I only have my daughter faith, is there negatives to only having one, with there attitude, sharing etc. She was born premature. she our miracle baby, So we not having any more

14 Comments

View replies by

Elaine - posted on 08/31/2009

1

6

0

I have only one girl, Megan, who is now 10 and she is perfectly happy to be an only child. She is well mannered and has a great attitude and shares very well with other children. I think it's about what you instill in them.

Wendy - posted on 08/28/2009

1

1

0

I have 1 beautiful little boy aged 3 1/2 . He is our world . We took our time to have him . We needed to be ready . I do partly regret at times only havin one child but he is a very happy ,friendly boy who knows he is very loved . He goes to a childminder as i work part time which is good for us both . We are just going through the importance of sharing ; like anything with parenthood its a learning process for the whole family !!!!! Try not to let others make you feel guilty !! After all the best gift you can give your child is love !!!!!!

Rachael - posted on 08/28/2009

1

12

0

Hi Andrea - having one child is a blessing. Enjoy your daughter - obviously she was a much wanted and longed for child. Don't buy into any guilt. Do the best you can. I have one longed for child. She's five now and is a joyful and loved little girl. She makes friends easily and adores other children - perhaps treasuring them more and valuing their company more than others with siblings. Only downside for our little one is that she spends more time with us than I think other children with brothers and sisters do.



With regard to sharing , attitude and other things ... these things can be taught easily within a family. We all share, we learn to respect each other, we learn where our boundaries are. Interacting with other children is important too to learn how to play with ohter children so kindy and/or playgroups are good options. I did get my little girl a cat though - a fluffy ragdoll which she can pick up that doesn't scatch her. We teach her about gentleness with her cat, about being aware of those that are smaller than you, about the need to care and look after those that can't look after themselves. He is her buddy and she spends time talking to him.



Hope this helps, Rachael

Jennifer - posted on 08/27/2009

30

10

0

I think the answer is how you approach it. My daughter is 5 1/2 and we are still negotiating as to whether we want another one. We try to make sure she is well rounded - she attends little gym to get interaction with other children (learns she can't always be first and learns to interact with other adults). We also give her the attention she needs. I found that some parents use multiple children as playmates - but we like to play with her too. So, I think she had a relatively smooth toddler hood as a result - toddlers need a lot of attention - for behavior, for learning, etc.

Erin - posted on 08/27/2009

2

95

0

We decided to just have Ashley Paige! She is all we could have ever asked for. As far as the social skills and attitude...just make sure that she has plenty of interaction with other kids and u play with her frequently and teach her to share with u first. That really helped Ashley when transitioning to daycare... Just my 2 cents on that for u! So happy she is doing well!

Cynthia - posted on 08/27/2009

4

19

0

HI...:-)



I have a 3yrs old very smart beautiful little girl...whom by the way acts 12, but thats other topic. I always thought I want 2 children n I would try to have them 1 yr apart. That thought changed after I had my daughter, I was so consumed with imense love and overwhelmed with reality...I am very happy being a mother 1 child. I have her in preschool where she interacts with other children her age and she has tons of cousins she plays with...I don't know how my decision will affect her in the long run..I let her know everyday how blessed I am to be her mommy and I love her with all of me...she is a very loving and happy little girl whom loves to be with her friends n family...am blessed n thankful for little girl...:-)

Candice - posted on 08/24/2009

2

18

0

Hi! I have only one son too he is 13yrsold. I dont think there are any negatvities to having one kid. you will find that when they are at pre school they learn to share & yes find out just who they are when it comes to attitude. Although he always asks me if he will ever have a little brother or sister. I think I have waited too long seen as he is a teenager now. Having one child was the best choice for me seen as I am a single mother too. Would be really nice to have anoher little bundle of joy....

Blessing - posted on 08/24/2009

1

1

0

i will say there is nothing bad having an only child. l have a son his 3 years plus and is as if i have a whole lot of kids becos his a hand full but all the same i really wish i could still have a daugther.

Rebecca - posted on 08/22/2009

12

17

0

I am an only also. When I was younger I didn't realize what I didnt' have. It was not until I was older and saw my best friend with her two sisters and their families that I realized I would never have the big family christmas with my own family, because it is just me, my parents, and my own kids. No cousins to play with, for a while anyway (hubby's siblings are 17 and 18). I also have the sole responsibility to care for my parents whent they age, and the live over an hour away, which isn't too bad, but not very convenient, either. So, like others have said, there are pros and cons, but I chose to have 2 (so far) hoping and praying they will be close when they older.

Hazel - posted on 08/20/2009

3

6

0

Well i have one a 4yr old girl and yes sometimes she does get lonely but she manages to play on her own when she doesnt have friends over.She goes to school during the day.And i always allow her to visit her freinds when we can.And im happy i dont think i want to have more..................

Betsy - posted on 08/19/2009

6

11

0

I agree with Kristin. I had one (she's going to be 21 next month) and she did fine. She was a military brat and was forced to make friends quickly every where we went. I was able to be very involved in her life and activities, but made sure she was capable of independent thought.
There are times when she wishes she had a sibling, but other times when she's glad she doesn't (you can say the same about children with one sibling or many).
Her boyfriend is an only child as well, which I find interesting.
Also, contrary to popular belief, being an only child doesn't mean they will be spoiled, my daughter is one of the most generous, loving people I know with TONS of friends all over the world, who is thrilled with anything she is given and shops at Goodwill without hesitation.
So you do what's right for you raise that child as best you can and it will all work out.
Just make sure you don't "baby" her too long, which is common for moms of premies.

Kristin - posted on 08/18/2009

65

9

9

Always pro's and con's both ways. I was always a firm believer in siblings, however, I have a friend who is a firm believer in solo. In the end you do what you need to do whats best for your family. As long as you make sure your child gets close interaction with other children. Such as friends kids, or cousins. They will be fine. As for the grown up version, I had one friend that hated being an only child, and has gone on to have 3. And one that loved it and has no intention of having more then one! Basically I don't think this is something to worry about if your providing a loving, safe environment.

Esther - posted on 08/18/2009

3,513

32

144

I have one little boy and he will be a one & only too. There is actually a community on Circle of Moms for moms of only children. Here is a link: http://www.circleofmoms.com/group.php?en...

There will undoubtedly be challenges to having only one, but I still feel that it's the right decision for our family. And frankly, having a sibling isn't a guarantee for happiness either. My husband and I both have one younger brother and neither one of us has a relationship with our sibling (both happen to have psychological issues).

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms