HELP

Amber - posted on 07/08/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my son is 5 months old and i love my son to death. but it seems to me that since he was born my boyfriend and i cant get along we are always fighting. we werent like this before. i dont understand whats wrong. i work fri, sat. and sunday while he watches him and he works the rest and i watch him. he says that he has no him time but i dont have time to myself but i am not as angry i dont know what to do....

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Amber - posted on 07/09/2009

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I think its a really good idea to share the responsibilty of letting each other get out like once a week or every other week. Or what about getting a sitter once am month or something like that, I know it can be expensive, but you both need time for yourselves! Save a little extra money here and there when you can, like $20 and use it for a night out. Taking care of a baby is hard work!

[deleted account]

My husband and I work opposite shifts during the school year. We don't have a sitter, nor can we afford one on a regular basis but about once a week we take turns and he goes for a guys night, then the next week I hang out with my girl friends. About once a month we try to do a "date night" and my mom or my mother- in-law will take our 2 sons (both under 5) over night or even just for the evening so we can go out to dinner somewhere other than McDonalds. Some times we even just sit at home and watch tv or rent a movie just enjoying the peace, quiet and temporary lack of responcibility.

Annette - posted on 07/08/2009

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It is hard for all new fathers to adjust to having children. They do not know how to Not be the center of attention. It takes time. My husband had a struggle with our first child. He was committed to our relationship and after a time he relized that it was okay to share. Just continue to love him and be kind.

Ashley - posted on 07/08/2009

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I know exactly what you mean. I didnt think me and my boyfriend would make it. We fought about EVERYTHING! Who's turn it was to feed, change, bathe, feed the baby....We both claimed we didnt get any sleep. It was horrible i think I packed my stuff once a month and threatened to move out. We just started comprimising, I'd get up on the nights he worked and vice versa. We also would get my mom to come over and watch the baby so we could have couple time. We also would alternate one weekend a mnth to go out with our friends or just do stuff by ourselves like shopping for me or golfing for him. Gettin out of the house really helped. Just make sure you keep the lines of communication open. Dont let him make you feel bad because he doesn't "have a life" you are in the same boat as he is and it's time realize responsibility comes before fun. Also you need to realize that men handle stress much differently and sometimes the burden of having to support a family can really get to a person. Another tip me and my boyfriend play poker sometimes and the loser has to do the dishes or laundry for a week. Its a fun way to make sure chores get done without a fight! Good luck and hang in there It will get better

T_cjones108 - posted on 07/08/2009

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do u have family or a friend u trust around? my hubby and i where like that too! but if ur or his parents would take baby over night once a month, say friday night or saturday night! and you 2 decide what ur going to do! my hubby and i do a date night! we could just chill at home or go over to a friends house (that dont have kids). and we sleep in! it reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly helps ;) just keep in mind you 2 just had a HUGE change in your lives! good luck hun hope this helps, and keep ur chin up it will get better :D

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