
Meg - posted on 06/01/2012 ( 32 moms have responded )
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He often expresses concern about lateness of bedtime (sometimes as late as ten, but then again the child still naps), but he won't assist with dishes, bath, dressing for bed or teeth brushing unless I ask. And many times he won't do it until minutes or hours after I have asked, which kind of defeats the purpose. To avoid constantly fighting, I just end up doing everything, which i really resent. I am tired from working all day (I am the main earner too!) so when he refuses to proactively and/or cooperatively help, it basically means I don't get as much rest as I need. Help! I am thinking of suggesting counseling to address his very frustrating procrastination!! Any thoughts?
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User - posted on 06/05/2012
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You for one should not be thinking of it as Helping you, its his responsibility as well. It really bothers me when I hear about men taking a seat and making the little woman do it all.
Have you tried telling him how burnt out you are and that having him do something would benefit the both of you? If that doesn't work, then I would go with counseling. Raising a child is a partnership, its not a one person job unless it has to be.
Good Luck!
Rebecca - posted on 06/03/2012
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try counseling. Sometimes dads are better when kids are older. In the meantime, it's tough on you. Is he better at certain tasks, something like going to the store or taking your child out? If counseling doesn't help. try reading the Solo Partner by Phil deLuca. take care of yourself as much as you can.Sometimes it is better to do it yourself, or hire someone to help, and quit asking him, but that is not an easy solution.
Leslie - posted on 06/03/2012
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I withheld sex because I was "too tired" from having to do EVERYTHING and "magically" he started helping out!
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 02/09/2015
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Ms. Metsa,
First, my name is ShawNN. Not ShawnA. Please try to spell people's names correctly, since they're right in front of you, in print.
Second, I'm not "angry", nor am I "Full of wanting justice". Not sure where you get EITHER of those misguided ideas. I'm tired of people consistently being obtuse, of people ignoring that the world has moved beyond "he's the breadwinner, she's the homemaker, and never the twain shall meet".
If you wish to take offense to that, it's your prerogative, but that's a lot of offense to be taking.
As far as my use of the term bribary: "Bribery is an act of giving money or gift giving that alters the behavior of the recipient". Therefore, telling your partner/spouse/SO that you'll "do something" for them if they will take a turn with baby is just that...bribery.
I'm sorry that you don't seem to like the terms, phrases, and common use of language that most of the rest of the world agrees upon.
Anna - posted on 06/13/2012
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Unfortunately, some men just don't get it, no matter how many times you tell them. They act like we're nagging them so it's just easier for me to do things myself too. I work too. In the 2 yrs since I had my son, my husband never once got up to help at night or let me sleep in on the weekends. I look at it as his loss spending extra quality time with my son, my gain.