how can I make my son to stop lying to me

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Shelley - posted on 01/25/2009

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I would like to thank every one for their imput I will try some of them and see what happens

User - posted on 01/25/2009

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Wait until you can PROVE the lie, then tell him you know he's lying. When he answers back, tell him you'll give him one more chance to tell the truth or ... The punishment has to be big, but not traumatic. Like putting a favourite toy on a top shelf and earning them back through a star chart. Eventually he'll learn that you just know and it's not worth it, and other times you'll be able to bluff it and ask him "one more chance, you know that I know the truth because I saw you!"



Hope this helps!

Jaime - posted on 01/24/2009

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This is a really funny story. I went through the same thing with my then 4 year old (now soon to be 7 year old). She would lie about the silliest things.I could always tell when she was lying to me. Out of frustration and constant battling over "your lying to me--no I'm not," and constant explaining on why it is important not to lie---I came up with a solution. I told her. "I see black spots in your eyes when you lie." She would then run to the bathroom and check. Being the "smart cookie" that she is, she emerged from the bathroom and said, "I don't see them!" I told her, "Only mommy's can see them." When she got to be a little older she would say, "Mom, I'm not lying! Do you see black spots in my eyes?" It was pretty funny.

I'm not sure how old your little(s) one is/are, but it worked for mine. Just to make it clear, I don't support lying to counter a lie as they get older, but I think it works for when they are younger. Now that she is older (knock on wood) we have had hardly any 'bouts of lying. If we do, she gets punished (usually grounded from her favorite toy) and we sit down and talk about it--why she lied, what did she gain from lying, and what she got from lying (referring to her punishment). Hope it helps. .

[deleted account]

I don't know how old your son is, but my daughter is almost five and recently discovered the art of lying. Luckily she's not very good at it and my husband and I can almost always tell when she's not telling the truth. Whenever she lies about something, we sit her down and talk about how important it is to always tell the truth and not to lie. We try to enforce this by telling her that she won't get in trouble for telling the truth, but she will ALWAYS get in trouble for lying. If she's lying to cover up something she's done that she knows she'll get in trouble for, we stay calm and talk about what she's done in a way that doesn't make her feel as if she's "in trouble." After a few talks of this nature, the lying has disappeared and she's actually a lot more honest and tells us when she's done something she's not supposed to.

[deleted account]

My son is 10 and he use to lie to me like there was no tomorrow...mainly about stupid things. I found that the way to nipping that in the bud was to laugh a little more. Sounds crazy i know but trust me it works.



As a single mom or two boys, career woman and fulltime student i am always on the go so unless its dinner time or the weekend i never really had a chance to show him the natural, fun loving side of me. So when i found out he had a passion for dancing i tapped into that because I love to dance as well. So i try to do the silliest dance i can think of to make him smile and relax around me, next thing you know we are dancing and laughing and then he starts talking my ear off about ....life.



Slowly the lies stopped and the good days started rolling in...

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